It's been two days. My apartment feels too empty. I miss him.I know I have to find that girl for Miguel, but it feels like he left me with no hints — only more confusion. I kept hoping I'd run into him at school by chance, but... I know the odds are slim. Besides, he's not the one I need to find.But what do I do when I find this girl?! Do I just help them hook up, standing by and watching him profess his undying love for her? Just imagining it makes my eyes sting.
My mom has been calling at least five times a day. I don't have the heart to block her... So maybe I should just answer. As I debated, she called again, so I picked up on the third ring.
"Lemon! Sweetie! Thank you so much for answering! I've been in shambles since—"
"What do you want?" I cut her off.
"I... I want to talk to you. I don't want you to hate me..." Her voice wavered, sounding small and tearful.
"Then why would you come onto my boyfriend?"
"I... don't you think I've been punished enough? My face is still swollen, and I didn't even press charges!" She raised her voice, rambling and trying to justify herself. All I felt was the hollowness left by Miguel's absence.
"Shut up." My blunt tone shocked her. "Did you... do the same thing when Jack came to visit?" She said nothing, and I took that as my answer.
"Why... why bring that up now? Did he say something?!" I stayed silent, so she took it as confirmation.
"Listen, he came onto me... you weren't supposed to find out... I don't know what he said, but he lied!"
"Mom... why? Why would you do this? Why Jack? Why Miguel?" My question made her clear her throat, then whisper,
"I don't want to talk about this over the phone."
"Fine. Then we won't talk. Ever again! I don't need a mom like you."
She gasped and screamed, "Wait! Fine!" I heard her stand up and close her bedroom door. Then, in a softer voice, she said,
"I'll try to explain... I'm not evil. When you reach my age — especially if you have a daughter — you'll understand. I feel eyes leaving me, drifting to you, because you're beautiful, youthful. You look just like me, with a few small traits from Sebastian. Beautiful traits... I just wanted affirmation, to be sure I'm still beautiful."
After her explanation, I took a deep breath and said in a neutral voice,
"This is why Dad left you. You're a black hole — you need constant validation. He'll never be enough for you, and you're competing with me? People get old, Mom! You're still beautiful, always will be. No matter who's looking at me it doesn't give you the right to interfere in my relationships and try to steal my partners over some imaginary competition. Bye."
"Wait! Don't leave me! Don't hate me! Lemon, please..."
I hung up, ignoring her pleading, then lay back and replayed my conversations with Miguel. Maybe he gave me more clues than I realize. Maybe there's a time limit unless I find this girl. Maybe he wasn't allowed to tell me more.I'd been slacking on the search because I didn't want to meet the woman he loved. I envy her, hate her so much. I fell for him so fast, I don't know how it happened, but I should trust Miguel. He turned down my mom — violently. And he's always reassured me when I was down. I don't believe he'd leave for no reason. It's time to do my job.
I turned up the AC so I'd feel less lonely, brushed my hair, and washed my face for the first time since Miguel left. I looked up and wrote down recipes for simple dishes — maybe something I could make for him when he comes back. After all, he didn't break up with me; he said he couldn't be with me. So, once I find her, maybe he can be.
I prepared a light breakfast, then went to school. My eyes searched for Miguel, even though I wasn't sure he'd be there. The culinary department was so far away; even if he re-enrolled late, the chances we'd run into each other were close to zero.
Sitting in Geology class, I heard his voice ring in my head from the times he helped me study. I smiled through my test, confident I got all my answers right.
I saw Amber walking alone through the halls — unusual for her. When she saw me, she gave a slight smile, then walked off without saying a word. I wondered what happened to the other girls. Had they had a falling out? I supposed it wasn't my business.
If I wanted to help Miguel, I should start checking other parts of the university. He never seemed to know anyone in this building except Jack, and he wasn't even supposed to be here. Time to venture out again... hopefully I don't meet anyone else like Cerena — that was exhausting.