Failure is normal. Your life doesn't need to end because you encountered a difficult challenge. You just need to dust everything off, and life will be better again.
For the past five years, I have been repeating these words in my mind. No matter what life throws my way, I have been trying my best. However, as you all know, life is life. Like E.R. Braithwaite said, "Life followed no pattern, no planned course."
My family life, career, and love life have all been a pattern of loving, losing, and picking up the pieces. The monotonous routine has finally tired me out. Some people might feel like I have been complaining about what everyone goes through. But not everyone goes through losing their parents at 16, losing their grandparents at 21, and having their boss acting like they own them. Or having their coworkers isolate them because they think that you were having an affair with their married boss.
Honestly, I was really tired of all that. That's why I decided to take a break from everything that has been weighing me down. No one deserves to be in a toxic environment that chips away at their happiness every chance it gets. No one deserves to feel like they are in a stagnant world where everyone else is progressing with their lives except them.
I wanted to stop feeling like I am in a cage with everyone watching my every move. I wanted to stop having that glass of wine before sleeping because it is the only thing that makes me sleep. I wanted to stop exhausting my body beyond what it could handle. Was I wrong for that? Was I wrong for wanting to move on in my life without a man making me feel like I should cater to their every whim? Was I wrong for wanting to discover the love that I used to love myself with? No, I wasn't. I never was. What I did wrong was waiting for so long to discover myself.
Now, you're probably wondering where I'm going with this… This is where my story begins, the journey of my incredible life.
Right now, I'm at the airport and about to check in. I've never felt more certain about a decision in my life. Yes, I left my draining job after exposing what really happened with my boss. And no, I did not run away from my problems as some like to call it. Instead, I call it running to my destiny. I sold everything I owned, took out the money that my parents and grandparents left me in my trust fund, and booked a flight to a random country. Don't ask me why I was working my bones off while I had money at my disposal. Just think that sometimes, people want to earn their way around the world.
Anyway, on my flight, unexpectedly, I had pre-flight jitters. Luckily, I was lucky to get a window seat, and no, I did not choose my seating because everything about this trip was done on a whim. While waiting for takeoff, I pulled out a cheesy novel I picked up at the bookstore and settled into my seat.
Details of the novel:
Luna von Dewill relishes in other people's pain. She is selfish, narcissistic, and ruthless. She disregards people's lives and has no one in her corner. But she was not always like that. She was once a girl with a skip in her steps and joy in her laugh. One day, she stumbled upon an obsession that changed her course in life: Cade Winchester.
However, she did not anticipate that her relentless pursuit of the male lead would change her from the sweet girl she was to the monster she became. Unaware of Cade's plans for her, Luna felt on top of the world. However, she did not know that one of the maids whom she had killed was Cade's sister. Luna never anticipated that Cade was after revenge when he made her think that he was also in love. Revenge is best served cold. Cade decided that he would marry Luna, have her give birth to their child, and make her witness the child's gruesome death of being mauled by wild animals.
In the end, Luna faced the consequences of her actions. Her relentless pursuit of power and love cost her everything, including the one person who could have loved her. Luna met her end in a manner befitting her deeds, a demise that tragically entangled the fate of an innocent soul. With her final breaths, she spoke words tinged with remorse and acceptance: "I don't wish to be reborn. May my suffering serve as penance for my son's future happiness." And with that, Luna's story came to a close, leaving behind a legacy of darkness and the hope for redemption.
After reading the story, I could only sigh. Luna's life was undeniably tragic. If only she loved herself more, she would have never become the monster she became. Her choices affected innocent lives and made her heart bleed with pain. People take self-love so lightly, and it is the only thing that stands between a person's true happiness. I sigh again, close the book, and close my eyes.
I'm awoken by the shaking of the plane. "There is a slight turbulence, please be calm and it will pass in a moment," a shaky voice makes an announcement. There is something different about this 'turbulence' though. It is never-ending.
As the air grows dense around me, a sense of dread fills the cabin. My entire body trembles uncontrollably, and a chill runs down my spine. This is it—the moment I've feared. I'm convinced that my time has come, that there's no place for me in this world anymore.
With a sinking heart, I brace myself for the inevitable. The plane lurches downward, hurtling toward the ground with terrifying speed. In that fleeting moment, I close my eyes, surrendering to the impending impact. My mind races, memories flashing before my eyes as my consciousness begins to fade.
As the world blurs into darkness, I feel a sense of resignation wash over me. It seems that my journey is reaching its end, my grasp on life slipping away like grains of sand through my fingers. And in that final moment, I find a strange sort of peace, accepting whatever fate awaits me beyond the veil of consciousness.