My eyes felt heavy, and my body felt senseless. As if navigating through a vast dune, unable to raise my head, for every will I conjure takes my eyes to meet the sand.
Helpless, I felt trapped in my own body, wandering through my mind, and my only salvation was to wake up. But I could only see the vivid captures of the hours passing in blinks of consciousness, through the lids of my shut eyes.
Where am I? I tried to speak but no air left my mouth, I tried to move no connection was felt, no sense of space was comprehended. I felt not even a numbness in my mind and body.
How much time has passed? Am I awake?
I have to be awake… I hear myself, talking in my mind. But why can't I move? Why do I feel so tired... no lethargic? The connection of my mind to my body is gone, yet my eyes feel the desire of rest.
How much time has passed? This body of mine can't survive long even in a motionless state. How much longer will I experience this slumber before I forget to think, to comprehend, to wake?
Am I in a coma? Is this how it feels? I can't even feel my body or if I even had one. Is this my voice that I hear? That I'm imagining it. Do I even still have a voice aside from this blurry yet focused voice?
Are those colors? Or are those memories? Blurring past my covered vision, shadows of the warmth of the yellow sun, of the heat of a burning red flame, of the cold of a black storm, of the dampness and misery of the green and muddy ground. Or are those silhouette of my desire? The silhouette of beautiful smile.
Am I still alive? If I am, I ask myself to give me a sign. Give me a sign in this endless abyss, a mirage of oasis, give me a reality not of my desperate mind. Wake up and look at the horizon, you are not dead, wake up Ka…
A name? My name… what was it?
Count, count and keep counting until your mind remembers the concept of focus, count until you regain the ability to feel. Remember yourself, who are you?
Count Ka-, count, muster the strength to raise your head, the sand of the dune doesn't tell you the location of stars. Raise your head and look up in the sky and count Ka-, count!
"…" count please...
"o.." one. "tw.." two.
Keep counting, your alive Ka.....