Chapter 9(v): The Reckoning Road V
POV: Jane
We were just sitting.
Talking nonsense. Luke was grinning about burger joints he missed, Blair complained about soggy fries. I was chewing on the corner of a protein bar, not really listening.
Then Amy walked over.
Like she always does. Like it was her place.
Like she didn't leave us to die.
She hovered for a second too long, then fake-smiled and held something out. "I got some extra food from one of the vendors. Thought maybe we could share—"
I didn't even look at her.
Jonah did.
"Hey, that's kind of you—"
"No," I cut in, standing up. "Don't."
Amy blinked. "What?"
"Don't pretend like this is normal. Like you didn't leave us."
Her face twisted. "Jane, please. I just wanted—"
"What? To slide back in like nothing happened? What do you think this is? A classroom reunion?"
"I left because I was breaking, okay?" she snapped. "Because I couldn't breathe around you people anymore. Everything was falling apart and you all were just—perfect. Unshaken. Like none of it touched you."
My voice rose. "You think we weren't touched?! You think I didn't cry until my lungs gave out some nights?! You think I didn't hate myself for not being stronger?"
Amy stepped forward, lip trembling. "Then why couldn't you understand that I was hurting too?"
"Because you didn't say anything! You just ran. Like a coward."
Her voice dropped into something venomous. "Maybe I ran because I knew you'd never fucking listen."
"Oh, don't play that victim bullshit with me," I snapped. "You left. You didn't even say goodbye. One second you were with us, the next you were gone. Like we never mattered."
"You think that was easy for me?!" Her voice cracked, eyes wide. "You think I didn't cry?! You think I didn't stare at every shadow wondering if one of you was dying because I wasn't there?!"
"I don't care anymore, Amy! You left. That's it. End of story."
She stepped even closer. Too close.
"I left because I was scared," she said through gritted teeth. "Because I couldn't take one more day of pretending I was strong when I was falling apart."
"Guess what?" I growled. "We all were. You think Luke didn't cry the day half our school died? You think I didn't throw up in a bush after my first kill? You think Scarlett doesn't dream of the people she couldn't save?"
Amy's jaw tightened.
I kept going.
"You had us. And you still chose to go."
"I had you?" she whispered, shaking. "You barely even saw me."
"Because you made everything about you."
"I was alone."
"We were right there."
"I felt like a ghost—like I didn't belong."
"Then you should've spoken, not vanished!"
Amy's voice turned jagged. "I'm sorry I didn't stay to suffer like the rest of you, is that what you want me to say?"
I stared at her. Cold.
"No. I want you to admit you're a selfish bitch who only came back because you realized being alone meant nothing."
That broke something.
Amy's whole face crumpled. "You think I wanted to be alone?!"
"I think you needed us when it was convenient. And when it got hard, you ran."
Amy was crying now. Angry crying. Messy.
"I came back because I thought you'd understand!"
"You thought wrong."
"I didn't leave to hurt you," she screamed. "I left because I was scared, and I didn't want to die! I didn't want to be a burden, I didn't want to be the weak one that dragged everyone down—"
"So you became the one who abandoned us instead?!"
Amy clenched her fists. "Not everyone can be brave like you, Jane. Not everyone can be your precious Scarlett."
"Oh, fuck off."
"You love being strong. You love being right. You don't care who's bleeding around you as long as you come out clean—"
"Better than running every time someone raises their voice!"
"You don't know what I went through!" she shrieked.
"And you don't know what it felt like to wait for someone who never came back."
Amy finally broke. Collapsed into Jonah's arms, sobbing. Ugly. Loud. Full of guilt and self-hate, but too proud to admit it.
---
POV: Amy
I didn't expect it to sting so much.
But Jane?
She always knew how to cut deep.
I remember leaving.
Seeing the SUV. Seeing an out. And I took it. No thought. No goodbye.
I ran.
Through ruined streets. Past blood and bodies. I survived because I had to. Because no one was going to do it for me.
I met people. Used them. Left them. It was just easier that way.
But now?
Now I see them—still standing. Still together.
Stronger.
And every second around them makes me feel smaller.
Scarlett's silence screams more than her words. Luke's kindness stings like acid. Grey doesn't even look at me—because I think he sees me. The parts I try to hide. The parts I hate.
But I want this back.
Even if I have to fake my way in.
Even if it kills me.
---
POV: Jonah
She clung to me like I was the last thing left.
I didn't know what to do. I just held her. Felt her sobs shuddering through her.
God, she felt warm. Real. Broken.
And all I could think about was: what if she breaks again?
---
POV: Grey
The yelling died down.
The sobbing didn't.
But none of that mattered now.
Engines roared in the distance.
Metal boots hit gravel.
Sector A/1 had arrived.
Whatever wounds had been reopened?
They'd have to bleed in silence.
Because things were about to change again.