After his mother collapsed, Geo called the ambulance and had his mother sent to the hospital. He waited impatiently outside the operating room, pacing around anxiously and with fear.
His midnight blue eyes were reddened from his messy thoughts that can't calm down.
It wasn't until the red light turned off and the door opened and a doctor came out that Geo snapped out of his thoughts.
Geo rushed to the doctor and asked, "How is my mother? Is she okay?"
The doctor told him not to worry, that his mother is safe for now.
"However, her health has worsened. She needs to be hospitalized and observed. She needs to undergo the treatment as soon as possible before her condition worsens even more. Without the treatment, she might not live long. And be prepared, the surgery needed to treat her is quite costly."
Geo's heart tightened upon knowing that his mother's condition had worsened. No wonder she has been coughing a lot more lately and sleeping for longer periods of time—her body is starting to fail her.
This realization made Geo's eyes reddened even more as moisture gathered.
He held back his tears as he continued to inquire with the doctor about the cost of the treatment.
The doctor said, "For cases like your mother, the treatment will cost $100,000, especially without insurance to take the bulk of it."
100,000.
Geo's eyes widened.
Their family's savings didn't even reach $10,000. Where was he going to get the money needed for the treatment from?
100,000.
For some average families, they can barely scrap that amount together.
For those rich families, they treat that amount as pocket money.
But for families like his, whose earnings are below the poverty line, that amount is something he will never get unless he encounters a change of fortune.
Geo gritted his teeth.
Even so, he is determined to get it one way or another.
He can't let his mother's condition worsen when there's a way for her to get better just because of money issues.
"Rest assured, doctor. I will get the treatment fees to you. Is it possible to pay for the treatment in a series of payments or at the end of the treatment?" Geo nervously asked with anticipation.
"I'm afraid not. However, this treatment has three stages. Each stage has their own cost, and their total should add up to $100,000. You can just pay for each stage separately."
The doctor said a number.
Although it was still pretty high, compared to the initial $100,000, it was still acceptable to Geo.
His part-time jobs, their savings so far, plus his scholarship, and maybe if he borrows some money, he can at least get his mother to undergo the first stage of the treatment. As for the rest, he'll have to come up with a way to get the money.
Life will be tight for a while, but it's worth it if his mother can survive.
Soon, Geo's mother was arranged to stay in a hospital room.
Geo wanted to stay and accompany his mother, but he had school the next day, so he had to go home.
The next day, Geo got up, got ready, and headed to school.
Their family was poor and lived in the poor area of the city. They had no means of transportation of their own. The school was far from his house and it would take more than an hour to walk there. Luckily, the bus fares were cheap for the line of bus he takes so Geo had always taken the bus to school.
Today was no different.
Geo waited for the bus to come.
When it came, he boarded the bus.
The door closed and the bus set off.
Geo walked into the special class classroom of S High School for juniors.
Just two more years until he graduates.
If it was before, Geo would have felt determined and excited thinking about finally leaving here, escaping from Manl's clutches, and going to university.
But after Ian appeared and saved him, a feeling of emptiness spread in his heart.
It was not that he was unhappy for the help. He was grateful to Ian for saving him. Ian was the first person to ever, truly save him. But at the same time, he reluctantly accepted the truth the other imparted to him.
He can never escape from this hell.
He thought he could by graduating.
That was naive thinking.
School wasn't what caged him, and people like Manl aren't a minority who only appears in schools.
They are present everywhere in the world. In the university he was looking forward to going to. In the society he will eventually be a part of.
It's impossible to escape unless the world changes. The world can't change so he could only change himself.
But how should he change?
Should he change?
If he fights back when he is targeted by others, their background alone can crush him.
Even if he wins a momentary victory and satisfies his desire for comeuppance, he has no money. He can't afford to pay for the injuries he cause.
His burdens weigh him down.
His restraints hold onto his reason, persuading him to not act rashly.
He has to consider the consequences.
Pressure held him down to earth and, at the same time, made him on the verge of exploding.
Geo sat down in his seat in the back of the class.
They were all arranged seats and Geo happened to be sent to the back by the teacher's arrangement.
A burst of laughter erupted in the otherwise peaceful classroom.
Geo suddenly paused in his seat.
Then his movements continued, unaffected. He took his notes out from his backpack.
Everyone in the classroom laughed and chatted with their friends in groups of twos or threes. Geo was the only one alone.
He was used to it.
He didn't know what he had done to become Manl and his friends' favorite. They mainly targeted him and no one else in the junior special class. Most of their victims eventually become loners and isolated even when they initially had friends.
Here, in this junior special class, he was their sole target. But he wasn't their only current victim.
There were others, but they were in other classes so Geo had no interaction with them.
No one wanted to be the notorious bullies' next victim so they all steer clear of him.
Still, Geo knows that that's not the only reason.
They looked down on him. Thinking he was weak and a coward, not worth associating with because he doesn't fight back against the harm done to him.
But have they ever thought, if it was them, they would be in the same situation as him. Their families are not better than his. Though some of his classmates come from decent families, their family class was degrees below Manl and his gang. They would have no way to resist either.
Either Geo nor his classmates can go against this class discrimination and natural class advantage.
Yet they all seem to consciously forget this fact. Choosing to ignore it and mocking his pain when they could have been in the same situation and be helpless.
Geo continued to ignore the lively conversations around him that pricked his heart like unignorable steel needles.
Soon, class started and Geo turned on his concentration mode. He listened attentively to class.
The school bell rang repetitively throughout the day and lunch time quickly arrived to the delight of the students.
Everyone packed up their things and stuffed them into their assigned desk that won't change until next year.
Happily, they grabbed their friends and went to the cafeteria to eat the meal provided by the school or brought their own lunch to be eaten.
Geo followed them out after he put away his things.
Usually at this time, he would have been called out by Manl and his boys for some "fun" and he would never have a normal lunch break. Every time, he would have to quickly finish up his food at the end of the lunch period and rush back to class.
He should be glad that he could have time to eat at all and not be starved for the rest of the school day.
It could be so calm only thanks to Ian.
Warmth seemed to flow in Geo's numb heart, lightening the heavy burden in his heart.
However, that warmth was soon dulled.
The whispers that entered his ears the moment he stepped into the corridor made his heart chill down.
A feeling of helplessness and restraint once again found him.
The days felt no different from those when the bullies had their eyes on him, except without the usual pain.
Withstanding the onslaught of mocking words, pitying expressions, and joking voices, Geo made his way to the cafeteria.
Everywhere he went, words were spoken about him.
Manl's prey.
Bully's victim.
A pitiful thing.
He deserves it.
Troublemaker.
Every word, true or false, stabbed at his heart.
Geo forced himself to block out their words. He tried to convince himself that they knew nothing about him and were speaking nonsense. He tried to distract himself by thinking of ways to gather funds for his mother's treatment.
But how could it be easy to ignore?
Hurtful words crush the spirit whether they are true or not. Falsehood, lies, and rumors spread in the air becoming tangible substances that squeezed around his throat. They forced out the truth and reality like the breath in his lungs, leaving no place for him to breathe.
After eating a tasteless lunch, Geo quickly returned to the classroom, hoping to escape from the trail of whispers that never ceased to focus on him.
It was inescapeable, however.
And for the first time in a long time, without regard for consequences, Geo punched someone.
Geo accidentally bumped into someone on his way into the classroom.
"Sorry," Geo immediately apologized. He had been walking too quickly and wasn't paying attention. It was his fault so he apologized sincerely.
Normal people would let it go and leave.
Unfortunately, the person he bumped into wasn't normal.
"Watch where you're going!" Said the friend of the person Geo bumped into. He had an irritated look on his face.
At first, annoyed, the person who got bumped was just going to ignore him, but then he changed his mind once he saw Geo's face. He even smiled, though his smile didn't contain any friendliness.
The person Geo bumped into happened to be the student with the highest family background in their junior year special class. Although his background is inferior in comparison to the rest of the student body, he was considered a popular celebrity in their special class because of the little money he has over the other special class students.
He also happened to be the person who likes to mock Geo the most. Most of the isolation Geo suffered from in his class is caused by this guy.
"Hey, it's Geo, what a coincidence. The person who bumped into me happened to be you." His face was smiling as he spoke making it seem as though he had bumped into a friend. When his words continued, they changed flavors. "But then again, a child without a father or a mother must not have learned any manners." He sneered at the end.
Geo's expression became ugly, but he tried to hold back the anger in his heart. Frustration, grievance, doubt, and a rage he never knew he possessed rose and stirred in the pit of his stomach.
He was used to it.
Geo clenched his fist tightly.
He shouldn't fight. He couldn't fight.
Geo forcefully calmed himself down.
As long as he endures through this, everything will be alright.
The person saw that he was silent and thought with a smirk that Geo wasn't going to fight back no matter what he says.
So he continued to degrade him with his words.
"You're such a coward. No wonder those bullies see you as an easy target. I guess being poor makes you the rat of the gutter, only knowing to scurry away when there's trouble. Sorry? You should be. You can't afford to pay for the medical expenses needed to check my precious shoulder let alone your mother's hospital fees.
"You'll always live your life this way.
"Like a weakling, like a rat who can't see the sun."
Their sneers and laughter, their disgust and contempt.
He is used to it.
"I'm used to it…" Geo mumbled to himself in a daze.
'I'm used to it.'
He repeated over and over again to himself.
Geo looked up.
The smugness on their faces was glaring to his eyes.
His midnight blue eyes dimmed then darkened.
Their laughter echoing in his eardrums like the gleaming teeth of sharks who want to eat his flesh and drink his blood.
"I guess, soon, he really won't have a mother. Hahaha!"
Geo's eyes reddened.
Something in him seemed to have finally been awakened.
His blood began boiling like it was rearing to go.
A long suppressed urge for violence and supremacy begged him to release it.
'How could I get used to it?
'Who can ever get used to being looked down on, trampled on, and treated like nothing?'
Madness spread in his eyes.
He really is a coward.
Someone is talking trash and cursing his mother right in front of him and yet he is still enduring it. It's cowardice rather than tolerance at this point.
Why should he act the way a coward does when he is not one? He doesn't want to be one either.
He no longer wanted to always consider the consequences when doing things. What's the point of living when he's always so hesitant about this and that?
Why should he endure just because he has no ability to resist?
He has hands and feet—why shouldn't he fight back?
So what if he doesn't have rich and powerful parents? So what if he is dirt poor and can't afford medical expenses? He'll still beat up all those who speak badly of him, who bully him, and kick him when he is down!
He'll shove the consequences down their throat.
Someone should let them have a taste of the consequences of their own actions.
In this moment, Geo didn't want to care about the future.
Restraints unbound from him.
A string in him snapped.
And there was no turning back.
Change might never happen.
Yet once it does, it's hard to go back.