Seeing the scene before him, Jiraiya quietly slipped away before anyone noticed.
Orochimaru, puzzled, caught up with him. "What's wrong? Why are you leaving instead of going in to check?"
Jiraiya recalled what he had just witnessed—Tsunade taking a sip of water first before intimately handing it to Tōshirō—and carefully chose his words.
"…Uh, Orochimaru, don't you think Tsunade seems to have… special feelings for Tōshirō?"
Orochimaru brushed it off. "You're overthinking it."
Jiraiya shook his head as he walked. "I'm not overthinking it. Did you see how affectionate Tsunade was toward Tōshirō just now?"
Orochimaru frowned. "I saw it. So what?"
"So what? You're seriously asking that?" Jiraiya felt a pang of jealousy. "Didn't you see how she was acting? She even blew on his water to cool it down before handing it to him. Not just that—she took a sip herself first. That's not just concern—that's something only lovers… no, even married couples do!"
"Tōshirō is a patient, after all…"
"Yeah? Well, when I was in the hospital, Tsunade treated me completely differently! I always thought Tōshirō and I were on the same level in her eyes, but the difference in treatment is ridiculous!"
No, you're not wrong.
You're just a pile of scrap iron, while Tōshirō is pure gold.
Having spent so much time around Tōshirō, even Orochimaru was starting to pick up his habit of sarcastic inner thoughts.
Jiraiya pouted. "With my years of experience, I'm telling you—Tōshirō and Tsunade are definitely hiding something from us. I wouldn't be surprised if they were secretly together."
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "Experience? You've been single your entire life. What experience?"
Jiraiya scowled. "Experience from observing others."
Orochimaru was baffled. "Observing?"
Jiraiya gave a metaphor. "I may have never eaten pork, but I've seen pigs run, haven't I?"
Orochimaru: …
The more Jiraiya thought about it, the more restless he became. Eventually, he snapped. "No, I have to ask them directly!"
Orochimaru was stunned. "Wait, you're seriously going to confront them?"
"Of course! I need to know if something's going on between them!"
Before Orochimaru could stop him, Jiraiya had already stormed back toward the hospital room.
Inside the Hospital Room
Tōshirō frowned. "Was that Jiraiya who just ran off?"
Tsunade, focused entirely on her boyfriend, couldn't be bothered. "I didn't notice."
Tōshirō scratched his head awkwardly. "Do you think he saw… you know… what just happened?"
Tsunade shrugged. "So what if he did?"
She didn't mind at all. In fact, this was exactly what she wanted.
It would save them the trouble of sneaking around in the future. Plus, it would finally crush Jiraiya's hopes—better for both of them.
Just as they were talking about him, Jiraiya barged into the room.
He stood at the doorway, arms crossed, looking like a man demanding answers.
"I have a question for you two. Be honest with me."
Tsunade lazily glanced at him and closed her eyes briefly. Based on his earlier actions, she already had an idea of what this was about.
Feigning ignorance, she asked, "What question?"
Jiraiya took a deep breath. "I saw what just happened. So tell me—are you two…?"
Tsunade blinked. "Are we what?"
"You know… that."
"Oh~"
Tsunade's casual response stunned Jiraiya. "Oh?"
She smirked. "It's probably just as you're thinking."
That statement was practically a direct confession. Jiraiya froze.
And to drive the point home, as if she wanted to make sure Jiraiya completely gave up—Tsunade leaned in and kissed Tōshirō.
Direct hit.
A critical blow to Jiraiya's unrequited love of many years.
Only when their lips finally parted did Jiraiya snap back to reality.
Crack.
He swore he could hear the sound of his heart shattering.
And judging by how natural and practiced Tsunade's movements were, this was definitely not their first time.
Jiraiya was devastated. "Broad daylight… in public… and you're doing something so indecent?"
He was practically incoherent in frustration. "And you—Tsunade—you even took the initiative! Where's your dignity as a woman?!"
Tsunade, completely unfazed, gave Tōshirō another quick peck on the cheek. "I like him. None of your business."
Even Tōshirō, usually calm, felt a bit flustered by her unexpected boldness.
She used to be so shy about these things… but now she was taking the lead?
Jiraiya opened his mouth, hesitated, then sighed deeply. "People always warn about fire and thieves… but now I see you also have to beware your own friends. I was the one who liked her first…"
Tsunade scoffed. "Stop flattering yourself. You talk like I ever belonged to you."
Jiraiya forced a bitter smile. "Tsunade… you really are heartless."
Tsunade didn't hold back. "We were never a thing, so where's the 'heart' in 'heartless'?"
Jiraiya, completely defeated by her sharp words, turned to Tōshirō.
"Hey… can you really handle having such a sharp-tongued girlfriend?"
"It's fine, not poisonous, and actually quite soft."
Tsunade pursed her lips and stepped forward to question him. "Just 'fine'? 'Quite soft'?"
"Want me to taste it again?"
This time, Tōshirō took the initiative and kissed her.
Tsunade didn't resist—she closed her eyes and accepted it.
Seeing this, Jiraiya suffered another devastating blow.
For a moment, he felt so miserable he wanted to cry. Turning to Orochimaru with teary eyes, he lamented, "In the end, you're my only true companion. Thank you for staying single with me until the very last moment."
Orochimaru suddenly felt deeply offended.
Dodging Jiraiya's attempt to hug him, he muttered, "You're recovering faster than I expected."
"What part of me looks 'recovered' to you? I'm about to cry, okay?"
Orochimaru cut straight to the point—"If you were truly heartbroken, you wouldn't be in the mood to say all this."
As much as Jiraiya didn't want to admit it, he didn't seem that devastated.
Glancing at the lovey-dovey couple, he groaned, "Can you two stop showing off your love in front of me? Have you even considered my feelings?"
Orochimaru simply patted Jiraiya's shoulder in silent sympathy. He was already used to it.
Jiraiya suddenly froze, realization dawning on him. "Wait… you knew about this all along, didn't you?"
Orochimaru shrugged. "More or less…"
Now that Tōshirō and Tsunade had confessed everything to Jiraiya, Orochimaru saw no reason to keep it a secret anymore.
In an instant, Jiraiya fell into real depression—these bastards hadn't even included him.
Tōshirō sighed. "Don't blame us for keeping it from you. If you hadn't found out by accident, we were actually planning to set you up with someone first before telling you the truth."
Jiraiya's ears perked up. "Set me up? You guys found someone?"
"Not yet…"
Jiraiya's brief excitement vanished. "Then why the hell did you two make me see all that?"
Tōshirō pondered for a moment before replying. "We were actually being careful. But you should know—emotions aren't that easy to control."
"Sorry, but as a single man, I wouldn't know anything about that."
After venting, Jiraiya suddenly became serious. "Anyway, I'll still congratulate you two."
Tōshirō raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you're already over it?"
"At the end of the day, neither of you owed me anything. What right do I have to resent you?"
Jiraiya was surprisingly clear-headed.
He knew his feelings for Tsunade had always been one-sided. Now that things had come to this, rather than making a fuss, it was better to just go with the flow and let them be happy.
With that thought, Jiraiya smirked. "That being said, I'm still a little annoyed that you two kept it from me. So…"
Tōshirō blinked. "So?"
Jiraiya rubbed his hands together with a mischievous grin. "A little compensation doesn't seem unreasonable, does it?"
Tōshirō nodded. "What do you want? Want me to teach you the Rasengan?"
"Rasengan? What's that?"
Jiraiya had never heard of it before.
"A close-combat ninjutsu."
Jiraiya waved his hand dismissively. "Sounds interesting, but I'm more interested in something else you have."
Tōshirō frowned. "Something else?"
The Rasengan was one of the most valuable things he could teach. What more could Jiraiya want?
Jiraiya's eyes sparkled with excitement. "I want you to teach me how to pick up girls."
Tōshirō: …
Jiraiya pressed his hands together and pleaded sincerely. "I want to know exactly how you managed to tame Tsunade—the headstrong, terrifying queen of all women—and made her so obedient to you."
Hearing that, Tsunade's expression darkened.
She raised her fist. "Oh? You wanna die, Jiraiya?"
Jiraiya quickly dodged behind Orochimaru, peeking out only to continue begging Tōshirō. "Please, Tōshirō, teach me your secrets! I'll do anything!"
Tōshirō hesitated before answering, "Uh… actually, Tsunade was the one who pursued me. You believe that?"
(End of Chapter)
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