Summary:
A binary question ... yes or no?
BONG
The noise and lights stopped, almost anticlimactically. Luz slowly opened her eyes … to the forest. "… I guess … I'm back in time." The thing must have heard her wish. She just … needed to fix it. "Bring me back." … The hourglass didn't respond. "I wish I was back with Lucci." Still nothing happened. "Bring me back to where I was!" She shook the damn thing. Still nothing.
"Oh great it's broken! Or worse, I broke it, because i didn't watch what my fucking mouth was saying!" Because why wouldn't that happen? Why wouldn't she mess up again with another time travel adventure!? They stopped Pearl from ruining Lucci's life, and she still found a way to fuck it up! "Why can't I not mess something up for once in my life!?"
"Hey, it's not the end of the world this time."
She turned around … not seeing anyone. "And now I'm hearing disembodied voices …"
"I'm not disembodied, I'm right here." She followed the voice … to a tiny butterfly on a leaf. "Hello there Luz. Nice to meet you."
"…Either I'm going crazy or you're a demon from the boiling isles." She responded.
"Nope. I'm the reason you're alive." They stated. "Had to pull you out of the paradox before it ate you. Sadly humans aren't ready to eat them back … yet." The bug snickered. "Normally I don't get too involved with mortal affairs, but your little stunt has given me a vested interest in your branch of the Omniverse. Usually it takes a saiyan or morbian to make this big of a blip." They said. "But you rewrote four hundred years of existence just because you wished you weren't born … impressive."
Four hundred …. "It … worked …"
"Correct." The wings gestured almost dramatically. "Welcome to a small multiverse with no Luz Noceda."
"So… I did it… a universe here I don't exist… where I didn't help Belos." For once… she did something right… she fixed her mistake… she fixed every mistake!
"Yeah … side note, if you leave within five hundred feet of me, the sheer universal non existence will obliterate you."
That didn't sound too bad… okay it sounded horrifying, but… if she was obliterated, then she had no chance to make another mistake. "Thanks for the heads up… mister… butterfly… time… thing… I'm sorry, who are you?"
"They call me many things. God. Freak. Abomination. Master planner. The conceptual force of advancement and evolution. Weird octopus guy. You can call me Axolotl." They answered.
"… And you look like a butterfly?" Contradiction in animal motifs right there.
"My incomprehensible form just looks like an Axolotl to deities, so they call me that. I much prefer the change and metamorphosis of a butterfly in my avatars …" The bug turned to her. "It's my first time talking to a human, is this weirding you out?"
"Honestly it's the least weird thing I've ever seen. I lived in the boiling isles for months."
"Right, that's the commonality with almost all your variants. Fun little place. Glad I made it."Huh!?
"You…you made the boiling isles?!"
"Kid, I'm in the leagues where the Collector can be considered a plaything." It snickered. "But yes, I did create the boiling isles, or more specifically, I set things in motion. In reality, there's three fundamental factors of reality. Change, Stagnation, and Entropy. I'm the advocate of change, evolutions, metamorphism, all that good stuff."
"Then …" She smiled. "Your rewarding me because I saved your creation?"
Axolotl stared at her, before laughing. "Heck no. That place gets obliterated every couple Eons. I'm just doing this because you're a very funny variant and want to talk. You can walk away and die if you want to, this is just fun."
"Oh…" That made sense…too much sense, and was more fitting. "So I'm the cosmic equivalent of a practical joke."
"More like a sitcom, but yes." They stretched their wings. "You know in the beginning, the big guy, we all call him the Koala, hated the idea of the multiverse. If it were up to him, it would all just be one linier timeline, one universe, one set of rules of reality with no changes whatsoever. And that includes magic as well. Almost succeeded in whipping it all out a millennia ago."
"Okay…" That was something to store away for later.
"But I was like, screw that, so I went behind his back and established the multiverse while he was arguing with the snake. Best decision I've ever made. Now I got a whole Omniverse of possibilities to watch and grow endlessly."
Cosmic dad … alright. "So … what's the end goal of this? You have a kick before I vanish?" Luz asked.
"Nah, I'm pulling 'it's a wonderful world'." They stated. "It's your wish, you should see the end result, right?"
"…" She stared at him. "No bullshit where it's just naturally terrible without me, right?"
"Nah. I wouldn't do something like that. This is the truth and nothing but the truth." They saluted with their wings. "To say the whole universe is affected by your absence would be pretty arrogant. People have their own lives to live, you know. But I will show you how generally each timeline where you don't exist plays out."
"Each …"
"Or at least the main one …" They responded. "So, who are we seeing first?"
" I guess I should start where it started… Mom." She said. In a blink, they were at her house. "… Looks the same …" She walked along, finding her mom in the kitchen.
She looked normal … was it really alright? "Lucas, breakfast is ready!" … What?
"Coming Mom!" A boy with headphones and dark skin ram through Luz, running up and grabbing some bread. "Nice, buttered toast. Thanks."
"Mmm, the toast is lovely." She turned and saw the butterfly munching on a piece of bread.
"… WHO IS THAT!?" She shouted.
" Oh, since you don't exist here, the time your mom and dad had sex to conceive you, in this timeline your mom was on the pill." They responded. "So a few years after you would have been conceived, he came out, as a memento from Manny before he entered the death bed."
"Wait… so this guy… is like… my brother?" She asked.
"Not really. You don't exist, remember?" He responded. "He was only born because you weren't. The likelihood of him existing alongside you is a million to .001 chance."
"Why that low?"
"The multiverse has a lot of constants, which is a regulation the Kola put in to prevent bigger changes." They rolled their eyes ... at least Luz felt them doing that. "And in most realities, you tend to be an only child… at least in one's where your mom doesn't date other people after Manny."
"I see …" She looked at the boy eating with his-... her… their mother. She noticed the design on his shirt. "Cosmic Frontier?"
"Yep, unlike you he took to a different fandom with a different dream. He's doing his best to one day reach space, where he plans to set up meetings with other species and create peace." Axolotl explained. "Ironically he's a lot more down to earth than you, even managed to find his own little niche of friends and blend in with the crowd without causing chaos."
So … Mom got her wish. A normal child … that was good right? She never got calls from school or worried about him being a loner with no friends …
"So Lucus, I was thinking .." She turned to her mom. "Summer break is almost over, and we've hardly had time to spend together, so what say you and I have the whole day together?" Luz looked past her mom to notice the calendar behind her…today's date… it was dad's birthday.
The boy hummed. "I already promised Sarah I'd spend the day with her. We're looking at some stars tonight. Maybe next week?"
The hurt on her mom's face was subtle to most people… but very clear to Luz, who had years to know when her mom was upset or sad… something Lucas seemed completely oblivious too. "Alright … next week it is …"
"Thanks for the food mom." The boy ran out the door. "Gotta hit the bus, love ya!"
"Love… love you too…" Her mom said weakly, her legs visibly shaking.
"Why … why isn't he comforting her?" Luz asked as she watched the boy run onto the bus.
"Lucas never knew Manny. He doesn't know the pain it was to lose him. He doesn't know the self sacrifice a man like him took." They answered. "They still love their mom … just not the way you do. Loss can be painful, but sharing that pain can make bonds stronger."
Luz stared at her mother, slowly reaching out a hand … which went right through. "Right … I don't exist …"
"Wanna skip around the day and keep watching her?" It asked, and she gave them a glare. "What? This could be the last time you see her, just giving you the option."
"No, send me to the boiling isles. I want to see how Willow, Gus, and Amity are doing." They probably had better lives without her. No detentions or shenanigans to get dragged into without her presence.
The world flickered a bit as they arrived in Hexide. Luz walked a bit, keeping close to the Axolotl as she tried to find her friends. "Everything looks fine. Don't really see anything change."
"Differences in realities are never always super obvious. A school isn't going to change its layout just because you don't exist… although the detention track never formed here because you didn't make the first detention room explode."
"Wait, I thought the detention track always existed since Eda was in school." Luz said with confusion.
" It does, but that existed as a backup. You and your friends we're the only ones brave and dumb enough to destroy the main room after Eda." He pointed to the trio of Viney, Jerbo, and Barcus being dragged into the detention pit. " Without you destroying the room, these poor saps never started their secret mixed magic club."
"Mixed ma-… why are they still using the Coven System?" Luz asked. "Without Belos, they shouldn't be limiting themselves."
"Luz, you wished YOU were never born. Not Belos." They said … WHAT?!
"Wait … so … I didn't change ANYTHING about that!?" She shouted.
"You weren't involved with Rose, so he still got his immortality leach powers." It responded off handedly. "But without you it took him longer to catch the Collector and learn the draining spell. He won't be able to cast it this eclipse."
"So … the Boiling Isles … are safe?" She asked.
"By the time it's complete, he'll be taken down by a teenage King and Bismuth…"
Luz blinked. "…. Wait what!?"
"Yeah, Bismuth was never 'evil', she just hated Rose and anyone that had her gem." The Axolotl laughed. "Although by your human standards, deciding to obliterate her own xenocidal species was already morally questionable."
"Okay, I'm going back to that later. First things first, my friends." She walked back to the plant coven room. "Willow should be here, right?"
"Nope. She's still in the abomination track." He pointed down the hall. "You're the one that helped her out there. Without you …"
"But she can still change tracks, she's strong, she doesn't have to be stuck in this place forever." She ran towards the abomination class.
"She could, but there's two things stopping her. One being her parents. They wanted her to have a 'secure' future, and abomination users have more job opportunities."
She ran to the door, moving through it and seeing inside the room. "Useless, utterly useless!" She heard the shouting of professor Humonculous. "I've seen snot that made better abominations than this sorry excuse!"
"I'm sorry sir!" A meek looking Willow looked down to the ground. "It just couldn't hold together!"
"Serves her right." A green haired Amity scoffed.
"The other is trying to one up Amity and prove her wrong." The butterfly smirked. "Ah ego. A constant of any being with the smallest smidgen of power."
"So Amity, Willow, and Lucci never became friends again." Luz sighed. "I was the reason they were hanging out together again… so they didn't make amends."
"While that's true, you're off on one tiny little detail." The bug pointed out. " Lucci doesn't exist."
"… Say what now?" She asked. "I'm the one who doesn't exist, that shouldn't stop him from being born!"
"What caused the crash?"
"I …" She blinked. "Wait, no … if it's a closed loop then by all accounts the hourglass shouldn't have worked."
"That's what we call a paradox kid. You see, you were supposedto cause the crash with that fight with Pearl. But you now used the hourglass in a way that it wasn't supposed to be used. You managed to remove yourself, a notable variable, from the equation, which is what makes this whole thing so fascinating to begin with."
"So what, I'm the first person in all of existence to actually change the past?" She asked skeptically.
"No, just one of the few to do so in a universe where time works in a closed loop. The koala occasionally manages to grip his hold on it and prevent any changes at all, hence why closed loops exist." He then sighed. "Although in doing so, you made Steven's timeline a little more boring."
"What, are you saying he's more safe and doesn't constantly fight for his life everyday?"
"Oh no, I'm referring to the fact that it plays out like the majority of his base timeline. Very little variety. Kind of sad really."
She paused. "… What about Vee?" Luz asked.
"Belos got delayed, so she wasn't born yet." Axolotl whisked them off to a lab. " In fact, she won't be born at all, nor will the rest of her Basilisk friends. Which from a certain perspective can be considered better. They don't grow up tortured and in cages, feeling hatred for all witches and planning revenge.So no secret invasion, no crystal … devils"
" Centi." Luz turned to them. "Is she-"
"Cured."
"She's….she's cured.." She was alive….and she was cured. "Take me to her. Show me how that happened!"
"Alright, but I'll have to explain a lot of context and break multiple birds with one stone." With another blur, they were on the beach, during sunset time. " Without you, Centi continued to wander the woods, trying to find something, anything to calm herself down. And that led her to this."
Luz watched as Centi, having grown giant, fighting with the Crystal gems. "So … Lucci stayed with them …" She said, watching the fight as she saw Lucci…or rather Steven crying on the beach. "What's wrong with him?"
"Centi just melted all his cookie cats. In this timeline they were canceled, so he was pretty emotional about it."
"The irony." She smirked as she watched the kid throw an entire freezer at Centi, shocking them.
"Cooooooooookkkkkkiiiiiiieeeeeee Caaat!" Steven shouted as the gem poofed. "Now available…nowhere." Cute. This kid was so different from the Lucci she knew. He seemed happier.
"Yep, another gem captured … then time flew by." The sun and moon began to spin around in the sky as people blurred past them. "Steven Universe variants are more like you. Fun loving, cheerful, having a tendency to not pick up on social cues. A little too Naive and optimistic about situations. It took him a while to figure out his powers."
She was shown an image of him being covered in cat heads. "Aaaaaagh, what happened there!?"
" Tried to shapeshift into a cat, got cat heads in his fingers and it escalated into that thing."
Luz sighed. "I am so glad he has shape shifting under control in our universe." That would have been … horrifying.
"If you say so. I find it cute." ….she would choose to not comment on that. "Anyways, Steven had to rely on his emotional maturity rather than his powers. That got him nearly killed half the time, but it came in handy when dealing with 'difficult' gems."
"So this guy actually managed to work with Pearl." She translated.
"Oh, he loves her. Basically his aunt." They explained. "I was referring to gems like Lapis and Peridot."
"Oh … so he's better off here." She noted, watching the little green gem sitting next to Steven and watching tv as the world sped by. "Better off…without me."
"Maybe … So they spent adventures together, dealt with trauma, fixed everyone … until the Diamonds decided to show up to deal with earth personally."
She watched what looked like two hand ships, like Jasper's, but bigger and blue and yellow respectively. Out of them came two huge and imposing giant women. One looming cold and grieving, the other looking hateful and spiteful.
"That's Blue and Yellow Diamond!?" She examined. "They're freaking huge!"
"Eh, they're the least impressive of the Koala's creations in my opinion." It shrugged. " Though they had an impeccable sense of timing. They came during Garnet's wedding. You couldn't have timed it any better than that."
"…Garnet got married to someone?"
"Nah, they were the wedding. Steven officiated it. Even had the cheesy line of 'I pronounce you Garnet'."
"….I can't imagine how that went." Steven was different from Lucci…in a lot of ways. "Wait, what's Connie doing there?"
" Oh, she's Steven's girlfriend."
"….Huh…?"
" In fact, she's his girlfriend in most timelines he lives on earth."
… Was that better or worse than Boscha? "So … they won?"
"Physically, no. They were getting trounced on." She saw an image of Steven getting stepped on by Yellow diamond. "Even Lucci would need a couple hundred years before he reached that level. Doesn't help that this version of him doesn't have the same instant healing..at least the kind Lucci has."
"So…how did they win?"
" They hated earth so much because they thought Rose Quartz killed Pink diamond. So the only way to stop them in Steven's mind was to tell the truth."
"Please listen to me!" She heard Steven shout mentally to the diamonds as he projected some kind of pink aura all over them. "We don't have to fight! We're not enemies, we're family! Please, you have to know who I am!!!!!!"
"… And that worked?" She asked. "And in the old universe we could have just flashed his powers and showed that Lucci was Pink?"
" Not exactly. Lucci doesn't have experience using his aura powers, or as you put it, 'oracle magic', so that would've been faulty. Plus Jasper wouldn't take it so lightly and still try to kill him. Plus it wasn't as simple as just telling them he was Pink's son. They didn't understand the concept of children, and they didn't respect Pink's opinion either."
"Ah … so more fighting."
"And trauma yes … but he got through to them with effort." They skipped to a giant metallic woman landing on the beach. "After pacifying them, he used all the Diamonds to cure every corrupted gem … curing earth." The image changed to Steven and the diamonds, along with a bunch of bubbled gems, sitting in Rose's fountain as they popped… and out came more gems… happy and non-corrupted.
"So corruption is curable….and they did it." She looked around. "Where's Centi?"
"The giant green eye not give you a big enough of a hint?" They asked sarcastically.
"Excuse me for being shocked at seeing her real form." She rolled her eyes, and saw Centi… swinging with hands instead of stubs, along side other gems that looked like her. "He helped them all… he saved the world… Lucci became a better person because I wasn't in his life."
"Correction. He learned to have empathy for life on earth and Homeworld because he didn't live on the Boiling Isles." They stated. This … he saved everything … and Belos wasn't going to win … she really wasn't needed … was she? " Such a shame he never learned to help himself though."
She blinked … what? "What are you talking about … he's smiling right there." She pointed.
"Oh yeah. It takes a couple years to really set in. Mainly after Spinel tries killing them all."
"How is that the least surprising thing you've explained this entire trip?" She asked.
"Beats me. But like I said, about two years later, once he was done dismantling the empire, Steven's last challenge came in the form of Spinel, who came to earth to kill him and end his 'happily ever after'because in her mind, Pink abandoned her to have Steven."
"Makes sense so far."
" He stopped her of course. Saved the planet, pacified Spinel, sang a lot of songs as if he was in a musical…."
"So that's just one of those constants, right?"
"Trust me, the authors are just as annoyed as you are." What? "Anyways, after that, he had no one left to help."
" That's a good thing, right?" She asked. "Everyone not having problems all the time is a good thing, right?"
"And what happens when a hero grows up to think that their entire existence is built around helping others?"
"Huh, but Lucci.."
"This isn't Lucci. This is Steven." They pointed to the boy, now older and looking a little more like the Lucci she knew. "And he's lived his entire life being told he was the key to helping everyone. From day one, he was basically forced to take care of the gems, almost more so than they took care of him." She saw flashes of moments where Steven comforted the gems. One where he had a fight with Amethyst in the sky arena, one where he hugged a crying pearl on a floating rock, another where he was comforting a defused Ruby and Sapphire. "Kinda like you, except he forced himself to do it instead of being given the choice … although does your mother really count as a 'choice'?"
"What are you getting at?" She ignored the jab. "He has time now to do whatever he wants, to decide what he wants in his life."
" He does, but he was never given any direction in what to do with his life other than the vague answer of 'help people just because'." She turned to images, where her friend would glow pink and shout. "And without that direction, or anybody else left to help, he had no choice but to confront his trauma."
"But … he …" He always had a goal in mind …
"You see, the thing about your variant of Steven Universe is that as angry and emo as he can be, living on the boiling isles actually made him more well adjusted socially and better prepared him for the awfulness of life. Helps that he had family and the one friend he could truly relate anything to. Without that, he now has no outlet to fully process his trauma." The butterfly said.
"But the gems, his dad, he has them-"
"Yes, and he was raised by three alien women that have no idea how humanity works and an unambitious failed musician that raised him in a van for eight years and never took him to school to socialize with other kids his age." They stated. "Eda may have been a criminal, but she attended to his emotional needs and drilled into him a sense of morality that prevented him from being an uncaring sociopath who seeked endless gratification without consideration. And as selfish as he can be, he learned to watch his own back and take care of himself, learning to not let others take advantage of him." They continued. " Thanks to Eda, King, and you, Lucci knew the person he wanted to be. He said it himself. Lucci only has his palisman because you were in his life."
She stared at him, huddling in a corner, covered in pink. "Lucci …" She reached a hand out … and once more went through him. "He gets better…he had to get better.."
"Only after he pushes everyone he loves away. Gets too attached to his friends, nearly gets them killed, nearly kills his dad by crashing the car, and shattering Jasper."
"He….he shattered.."
"Yep. That was the last straw. Believed himself to be an unredeemable monster and turned into…that."
She watched as the boy she knew…her best friend… became a giant… pink… Kaiju. " Bawwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhh!"
"What the fuck!?" She screamed.
"Nearly lost himself, went to therapy, now it's life on the road, discovering himself …"
"But … it's …" It's not better … it's not worse … "Eda … What about Eda!?" What happened to the woman that helped her through so much?
"We'll she still took in King for starters, but without Lucci's spit to stave off the curse for long periods of time, she got careless and the curse got stronger faster." With another blurr, they were back in the boiling isles.
"So … she's …" Luz looked at a house … the Clawthorne house of Dell and Gwen.
"The Owl Beast with no way to get back, yes." The beast roared as the two parents, along with King watched sadly from the other side. "Don't worry though, her family still cares for her. So until they find a cure, so they locked her in a basement until then. Won't be able to kill anyone else that way."
"Kill?" She said.
" Lilith refused to hunt down her sister when it became clear Belos wouldn't heal her, so the big man sent his other top lap dog."
"... Ah …" She looked at the house. "So … she took Hunter and …"
"Oh no, he's not on that number yet. Belos barely hit the double digits right now." They responded. " Again, your not existence delayed his progress, so he didn't start making grimwalkers until way later, so the Hunter you know doesn't exist either." So that's two people she wished out of existence. "I'm talking about Kikimora." ….Suddenly, a whole lot less guilty.
"But… but you said that King eventually wins, he beats Belos… doesn't that mean everything ends up better?" She asked.
"If by better you mean Belos no longer in power and every witch doesn't suffer the draining spell, then yes, but that didn't happen overnight." She was then transported to what looked like a battlefield, where blood, body parts and weapons layed all over. "King being a titan was a…controversial announcement to say the least."
She stared at the chaos, the destruction, the decimation … "Why can't you just be straight with me?" She asked.
"Because life's boring if you just go in a straight line."
"Just tell me …" She felt tears falling. "Is the world better off without me or not …"
"Neither, you live in zero sum. Without Rose, Philip doesn't come to power, but she doesn't save Evalyn. Without Philip, Caleb doesn't gain the sense of responsibility and becomes a chaotic tyke. Everyone has their part to play as it all evens out to equal amounts of suffering and happiness."
"WHAT'S THE POINT!?" Luz shouted. "If that's the case, then what's the point if nothing gets better or worse if I'm not around!? Why does it matter!?"
"Why are you asking me? It was never my choice. It's always been yours." The bug turned to her. "The entire world is gonna end with dust and destruction, it always does. What matters is that you care about your choices." They looked forward. "Would you prefer world peace if it meant your friends suffered for it?"
"No, never!" She shouted immediately. "I'd never trade their happiness for that!"
"Then why did you wish to not exist?" It responded.
"Because … I wasn't making them happy …" She cried.
Axolotl looked forward to the battlefield. "Do you really think that now?" It then showed flashes of her life… of the first day she met Lucci…being an abomination with Willow, explaining humanity to Gus, winning Boscha's grudgby game, saving Hunter from the mindscape, her first kiss with Amity.
"... I thought I was just a joke to you …"
"You are … a really funny one … so I'm giving you the option of a rerun." The butterfly looked back at her. "Still your choice." It flew around. " Do it the easy way and let your friends work it out, or change alongside them. Mess up, grow, mess up again, but continue to change, and make your own life."
Luz cried… this was the only option she had that she knew for sure works out in the end… but if her friends ended up worse…"I…I want to go back. I want to see my friends again."
"I was hoping you'd say that. Much more fun than non-existence."
Luz chuckled. "How come all these powerful beings choose to hope instead of just being omniscient?"
"I only use that when I'm planning to hatch the egg." … What? "Now let's go back, your friends should be done with their torture by now."
"... What?" She asked quietly.
"Oh, while we were doing this little wonderful life homage, I decided to place your friends in alternate timelines."
"... WHY!?" She shouted.
"I wanted to occupy the time while stopping your timeline from caving in on itself … Seriously, no more time travel after this, alright? That's the Koala's fix it business, and he's only going to be around for two or three more millennia before his time is kaput."