"Battle Strategy Number Two."
I murmured, an ironic smile spreading across my face. Those guys are going to regret this.
Jimei's hands blurred through hand signs, which isn't so surprising. He used that jutsu so much that it is practically muscle memory by now.
"Doton: Doryūheki (Earth-Style: Earth Wall)!"
A massive amount of earth burst from his mouth, forming a thick wall in front of us.
Now that I think about it… that's kind of gross. I wouldn't want dirt in my mouth.
But whatever, that isn't the time to think about it.
The wall rose just in time, blocking the water bullets fired by the enemy team.
"Nice one, Jimei!" I said with a grin, then glanced sideways. "Natsu, position!"
"Already on it. They're trying to flank. One's coming from the right side… He really thinks he can flank a Hyūga?" She said, clearly unimpressed, her dōjutsu was already active. "Another's weaving hand signs… and the last one… he's underground?"
Jimei scowled like he'd just been personally insulted.
"The idiot underground is mine." He lifted his chin, huffing. "Who digs tunnels when the enemy team has a Doton user? Either he's stupid, or he's got a death wish."
"Maybe he's a Doton specialist." Natsu added calmly, eyes scanning the surroundings.
Jimei turned toward her with a look of utter disdain.
"Not gonna help much against me." He said, crossing his arms.
Natsu shrugged, already moving. "I'll handle the one on the side."
She was gone before I could even nod.
Jimei crouched, pressing one hand to the ground.
"Are you planning to stand there like a sack of potatoes? This wall isn't gonna last forever, and we've still got a moron on the other side."
Didn't even look at me when he said it.
I glanced at the wall. Sure enough, cracks were forming. The dirt was crumbling, like even it was tired of holding together.
"Be right back!" I muttered, then dashed forward.
I focused chakra into my feet, scaling the wall easily. At the top, I spotted the genin from Kusagakure on the other side.
At least he looked determined. I could respect that.
"You know… we don't really have to do this." I said loudly, trying to get his attention.
Let me be clear. I did get his attention. Maybe not the kind I was aiming for, but attention all the same.
Apparently, he wasn't in the mood for talking, because his only reply was a water bullet fired straight at my face.
I dodged it effortlessly using my Phantom Step, reappearing right beside him. His eyes widened in shock.
"Seriously?" I said. "My team already wrapped up our part of the test. You should be conserving chakra, maybe look for someone more your level. Try that bush over there, might be a squirrel with a scroll."
He responded with a spinning kick.
I gotta admit… It was kinda cute.
I ducked low, gave his foot a gentle tap to keep him from face-planting. I'm nice like that… sometimes.
"Whoa! That was almost dangerous. Almost. Did you train with scarecrows or did they train with you?"
I grinned and hopped back twice, dropping my guard just enough to mess with him.
"Suiton: Teppōdama (Water Release: Water Bullet)!"
Two of them, this time. Nice try.
Almost as fast as the Hokage's academy speeches and you can yawn three times during those.
Still, no idea why he was spamming the same move. What was this, Pokémon? Just gonna keep using Water Gun?
I dodged again with Phantom Step, popping up behind him.
I leaned close, whispered. "Boo!"
Credit where it's due. He didn't flinch. He spun fast with a kunai, decent reflexes.
But I caught his wrist with one hand and gave him a light push with my foot. Quick stumble. Almost graceful.
"Kusagakure, right? Figures. Village of Grass. About as useful as… well, you."
Smirk. Nailed it.
His face turned so red, I half expected him to burst into steam.
"You'll pay for that!"
"You got a payment plan?" I asked with a wink. "'Cause you're clearly broke on chakra."
He took a step back, eyes wide with fury like I'd just kicked his dog and charged a service fee for it. His fingers started flying through hand signs. Fast. Really fast.
"Suiton: Mizu Kamikiri (Water Release: Rising Water Slicer)!"
Now we're talking.
Finally, A proper technique. Looks like he is trying to prove he still has chakra in the bank.
The water blade burst from the ground with a sharp screech, slicing through everything ahead like a tsunami wearing a katana. The earth cracked, chunks of dirt flew, and for half a second, just half. I almost gave him credit.
It came straight at me with enough speed to make the wind itself flinch.
"Well hey, someone finally took this personally. I was starting to think we were just having a water-spitting contest."
I sidestepped with a hop, cold droplets brushing my cheek.
"That one actually stung… right in the ego. But hey, credit where it's due! That water blade has more presence than your whole village."
He grit his teeth. Yeah, didn't love that one. But now I was in the zone. Nothing like a near-death experience to get the blood pumping.
Too bad the Kusagakure kid was too pissed to think clearly. Because the idiot went ahead and was using the exact same hand seals again.
"Suiton: Mizu Kamikiri (Water Release: Rising Water Slicer)!"
Another wave blade. Same move, same path, same outcome. I dodged without breaking stride.
"You're really just gonna loop this, huh?" I said, grinning. "Bold strategy."
Then—
"Suiton: Teppōdama (Water Release: Water Bullet)!"
Ah. Back to this one. So we were alternating now. Like a playlist with only two tracks.
As the water bullets zipped toward me, I didn't even bother dodging properly. I started walking toward him. Slowly.
The first bullet whistled past. I leaned left, barely moved, really. Just a lazy lean, like I was dodging raindrops.
"Still with this one? Gonna ride it all the way to the finals?"
The second bullet came right after. I tilted my shoulder to the right and let it pass.
He froze. No backup plan. Just chakra, anger, and two overused jutsus. I stopped for a beat, gave him a look like I was about to reveal a secret recipe.
"You know… if you'd aimed for my face, maybe I'd have washed my hair."
I even looked thoughtful, like I was genuinely considering it.
"Think about it next time. More efficient."
His expression was priceless. Pure rage wrapped in helplessness. He clenched his teeth hard enough to crack enamel, and just before he could make another move, I charged in.
In the blink of an eye, I was in the air above him.
"Tetsu Kami Geri (Iron God Kick)"
I called out the technique as I raised my leg high, chakra surging into it, then brought it down like judgment, my heel crashing into the top of his head.
The effect was instant. His body folded forward like a snapped hinge, the light vanished from his eyes, and he dropped to his knees, unconscious, head bowed at my feet.
"I really thought this would be harder." I said looking he hit the ground. "But hey, that was almost poetic. Even the way you collapsed had drama. You'll have to teach me that trick sometime."
I turned to walk away—
But then I felt it.
A sharp whistle cut through the clearing. A split-second later, I felt the wind shift, slicing toward the back of my neck.
"Fūton: Kamaitachi no Jutsu (Wind Release: Sickle Weasel Technique)"
A wind blade tore through the clearing like a guillotine, cutting straight toward me in a deadly line.
I dove sideways at the last moment, rolled lightly, and stood with a lazy grin.
"Aah, there you are. I was starting to worry. Thought Sunagakure only sent ninja who throw pebbles and hide."
My hand rested on my hip as three new players stepped out from the trees.
One had his hair tied in a low bun, twin kama gleaming in the dappled light. Another stood with a scroll unfurled, a grotesque puppet scuttling beside him like some mechanical spider.
The last one is tall, lean with slitted eyes. The wind guy. He looked proud. Cute.
Three against one.
Didn't seem fair… For them.
"Alright, let's do some quick math." I said, holding up my fingers. "One, two, three of you… Three perfect chances to make a mistake."
They glanced at each other, tense silence between them.
Then kama-boy leapt, spinning like a deadly beyblade cosplay.
"DIE!"
Seriously? No warm-up? No banter?
Amateurs.
Guess Jimei and Natsu were still busy. Fine. I will entertain myself.
My body tilted, feet gliding over the dirt. I ducked at the last second, feeling the heated air of the blade brush past my ear. Behind me, a tree trunk exploded into splinters.
"Nice spin!" I said, still facing away. "Do another one. Might stumble onto some talent."
That's when I felt the shadow creeping over me.
I turned. That damn puppet.
It slammed its foot into the dirt with a groan like cracking bones. Its chest clicked open with a sick mechanical snap.
"Senbon Tsume!" shouted the puppeteer.
Needles shot out in a swarm, hungry and fast.
To be fair, the aim was solid. Shoulder. Neck. Gut.
Would've been real bad…
If they'd hit me.
They didn't.
Silence.
Poof.
White smoke burst out as my clone vanished on impact.
Now I really get why Naruto loves this jutsu in canon. The enemy's face when they realize they hit a clone instead of you? Pure gold.
I didn't wait for the smoke to clear. I moved. Phantom Step.
In a blink, I was behind the puppeteer.
"The problem with playing with dolls," I whispered, turning so our backs can be pressed together. "Is that sometimes… you become one. Kōtengeri (Rising Back Kick)!"
My heel snapped up in a clean arc, slamming into the side of his head.
For a second, his body floated, stunned in midair, then dropped like a puppet with its strings cut.
"And down he goes…" I said with a smirk.
The genin with the kama didn't take it well.
"SHIKAI!!"
If not, we just stumbled into a weird crossover with soul reapers.
He bolted over to his teammate. The kid's body was twitching, but his eyes were already rolling back.
Not dead, but definitely done.
"Yo!" I called, raising an eyebrow and tilting my head "You here to fight, or plan the funeral? Pick a lane."
He chose fight.
Charged at me, both blades drawn, breath ragged, eyes burning with rage.
His swings came in fast but wild. Sloppy.
I sidestepped the first one easily.
"Careful with those wrists. Sharp things, y'know?"
He slashed again. I ducked under it, laughing as his face turned redder.
"Never heard of 'safe distance'? No? That explains a lot." He came down with a vertical slash. I leapt back and pulled the corners of my mouth down in mock pity.
"This is getting kinda sad, dude."
His attacks got faster. More desperate. But still just flailing.
It started to feel like I was bullying him.
He went for another vertical slash.
I stepped to the side, kicked his wrist upward, his kama flew out of his grip, spinning into the air.
Before he could even blink, I slammed a kick into his gut. He flew backward and hit a tree, hard.
I looked up. The kama was still spinning, falling. Timed it perfectly, caught it mid-air.
"Y'know, I always wanted to hold one of these." I said, weighing it in my hand. "Nice balance. Shame you don't know how to use it. Looks like you saw it in a scroll and thought, 'Hey, that looks cool.'"
Lightning chakra crackled from my palm, sparking down the blade.
"But it isn't really my style. Here. Catch."
With a flick of my arm, I threw the kama back at him. Hard.
To his credit, he ducked just in time. Almost lost his head, but hey! Reflexes matter.
Too bad he lost track of me.
I blinked in front of him. My leg already pulled back, chakra building.
"Konoha: Tenshō Chagi (Leaf Rising Heaven Kick)!"
My foot connected clean under his chin, launching him upward.
He crashed into the tree branches above. I swear that I heard something snap.
Not my problem. Kid knew what he signed up for.
Then, just when I thought it was over...
I heard it. The sound of two hands clapping.
Then a high-pitched voice yelling.
"Fūton: Reppūshō (Wind Style: Gale Palm)!"
Yeah, I kinda forgot that one.
A blast of wind roared toward me, whipping up dirt, leaves, and twigs like shrapnel.
I shut my eyes, let the force push me back a step.
Just one.
"What a fancy hair dryer." I muttered, smiling. "All it's missing is a lavender scent."
Yeah... this is getting annoying.
I vanished with Phantom Step, reappearing right in front of the last idiot still standing.
"Let me show you how a real technique looks like." I said, leaping into the air. "Tsuin Reppu Kyaku (Twin Tempest Kick)!"
Spinning midair, I felt the chakra flow through my core, down into my legs, wrapping my lower body in raw energy.
The first kick slammed into his shoulder with a sharp crack. He grunted, stumbling.
Before he could even flinch, I spun again.
The second kick crushed into his chest like a hammer.
He went flying backward, tumbling like a loose leaf caught in the dying winds he had summoned just moments ago.
He hit the dirt hard, bounced once, then rolled until he crashed against a thick root.
Didn't get up.
Didn't even twitch.
I landed softly, barely making a sound, and adjusted my forehead protector, it had slipped a little from the wind.
"Quantity doesn't always mean quality." I muttered, shaking the bangs from my eyes.
I looked around.
Three down. One probably had a dislocated jaw. Another was totally unconscious, maybe dead. And the last? Hopefully reconsidering every choice that led him here.
The forest finally felt quiet again.
That's when I heard footsteps — fast ones, coming closer.
I turned just as Natsu stepped out from the trees, calmly brushing her hair aside like she'd just come back from a walk, not a fight.
Jimei followed right behind her, panting, a shallow cut on his cheek and that annoyingly smug grin on his face.
"Brilliant plan, Kenshin!" he called from a distance. "Become bait in a forest full of enemies? A real tactical genius. The brain of the century."
I crossed my arms. "It worked, didn't it?"
"Oh, definitely. Just had to fight three squads back-to-back. Nailed it."
"No time to argue." Natsu cut in, pulling a scroll from her pouch. "The guy I took down had their team's scroll. But it's another Heaven one. I don't see anyone nearby for at least 150 meters."
"These guys probably have one too." I said, nodding toward the unconscious Sunagakure genin.
I walked over and started searching them.
Found it stuffed inside the collapsed puppet. "Another Heaven scroll. That makes three Heaven and one Earth."
I tossed it to Jimei. He fumbled, nearly dropped it. Classic.
"Why do we even need more? Shouldn't we just leave one with them?"
He sounded so sincere, I almost laughed out loud.
"No point making the next phase more crowded." Natsu replied for me.
We took off, heading for the center of the forest, leaving behind broken enemies and bad decisions.
If the forest beasts mistook them for lunch…
Well.
Not my problem.