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"I've heard of it," Jiraiya said, taking a bite of his steamed bun.
Ninjas studied a wide variety of things, including explosive devices, so Naruto's poorly executed boast fell flat.
"Then have you ever heard of the 'Bun Bomb'?" Naruto retracted his so-called "artwork" and shot Jiraiya an annoyed glance.
"Pfft…"
Jiraiya hadn't managed to swallow the bite of bun in his mouth and ended up spitting it out all over the place.
Naruto quickly pulled out his trusty iron pot to block the mess.
By now, he was getting quite adept at using the "Iron Pot Defense Technique." He also planned to practice the corresponding "Brick Offensive Method" more diligently.
"You little punk, pulling stunts so early in the morning," Jiraiya muttered as he sipped his tea to calm himself down.
"By the way, you old pervert, where did you go last night? You smell like a mix of everything under the sun."
Jiraiya's scent was a cocktail of alcohol, perfume, sweat, cigarette smoke, bathroom disinfectant, and even a hint of milk!
Naruto could already guess what had happened, but for the sake of conversation, he decided to ask anyway.
"Kabukichō. Ever been there?" Jiraiya smirked mischievously.
"Kabukichō? How do I get there?"
Naruto honestly hadn't been there before—not even by wandering around aimlessly.
"Hehehe…" Jiraiya grinned, clearly pleased that Naruto had asked the right person.
"See that Third Hokage statue over there?" Jiraiya pointed to the Hokage Monument.
"Yeah." It was hard to miss something that big unless you were blind.
"The spot where the eyes of the statue seem to meet—that's the area."
Naruto dropped his chopsticks. This was some serious insider information.
Jiraiya's expression softened with nostalgia. "Back then, a few business owners went bankrupt because of the war and came to Konoha hoping to rebuild their fortunes. They were acquaintances of mine, so they asked me to help them choose a location."
"They picked this place because they hoped their businesses would thrive under the watchful gaze of the Hokage. Never thought that after all these years, the place would actually grow into such a massive hub."
Naruto's jaw dropped, and he completely forgot to pick up his chopsticks.
Are you seriously undermining your own master like this? And are you sure it prospered because of the Hokage's "watchful gaze" and not because of the Hokage's personal visits?
After finishing breakfast, Naruto started taking a cold shower. He'd heard that cold showers boosted physical resilience.
As he stood under the icy water, Naruto stretched out his hand and examined it carefully.
His current body had incredible resistance, and his wounds healed rapidly.
On a macro level, this was due to the Nine-Tails' chakra combined with a Sage-like physique.
But what about on a micro level? Was it akin to Wolverine's regenerative factor, or was it because of an abundance of platelets that clotted quickly? Or maybe his cells divided at an accelerated rate, directly repairing any damage?
If it was a regenerative factor, what did it look like? Or was it just fast cell division that healed the wounds?
It would've been great if Sasuke were here—he could use his Sharingan to figure out whether it was a regenerative factor, excessive platelets, or rapid cell division.
"Hey, brat, what're you thinking about?" Jiraiya joined him in the bath, though the various scents emanating from his body made even himself uncomfortable.
"Sasuke…" Naruto blurted out without thinking.
"???" Jiraiya was baffled. What did it mean for Naruto to be thinking about another man while bathing?
Sure, he'd met Sasuke—a pale, clean-cut kid—but that still didn't explain why Naruto would think about him while soaking in the tub.
"Perverted old man, what's Kabukichō really like?" Naruto quickly realized his slip-up and tried to change the subject.
Now Jiraiya was even more confused. First, Naruto thinks about a guy while bathing, and now he's asking about Kabukichō? What was going on in his head?
"Oi, it's Sage, not pervert!"
"Curious, huh?" Jiraiya chuckled lecherously, his perversion reaching new heights.
"Yeah."
Naruto truly was curious. In both his lifetimes, he'd never been to such a place—only heard rumors.
Jiraiya struggled to find the right words to explain such things to a child without being too direct.
"Under the neon lights, men strip down to their bare chests, sweating profusely, while women in revealing outfits showcase their talents."
"???" What kind of description was that supposed to be?
"Do you get it now?" Jiraiya smiled mysteriously, embodying the essence of a seasoned driver.
"Got it."
Though Naruto had no idea what kind of vehicle this "driver" was piloting, at least the topic had successfully shifted.
"Really got it?" The driver revved the engine, ready to take off.
"Yeah."
And with that, the driver left—for Kabukichō.
Leaving behind a thoroughly perplexed Naruto.
Wait, I haven't even gotten on board yet!
Jiraiya left because this place was boring. There was nothing fun to do with just a little brat around.
Yesterday, while drinking, he'd overheard some intel: after the Kyuubi attack on Konoha twelve years ago, there were widows who hadn't remarried. Most of them were newlyweds at the time and had since "matured." Some had remarried, but those who hadn't were reportedly living near the Sarutobi clan grounds. However, finding their exact location required further investigation back in Kabukichō.
Meanwhile, Naruto continued soaking for a bit before getting up to train. As usual, mornings were for practicing nature transformation and jutsu.
The last time the "little miss" came to check the pond, he practiced dragging weights around, mainly to avoid scaring her off with his exploding Shadow Clones. Watching someone charge at a tree only to explode upon impact wasn't exactly calming.
Naruto planned to create a fishpond first. There was water nearby, but no fish. He figured he'd catch some fingerlings later.
He used to love fishing—it was peaceful, undisturbed, and he could feed the cats afterward. His house cats were already tired of fish, and the stray cats downstairs grew up eating nothing but fish too.
The fishing spots weren't near large rivers, so the fish were small—mostly carp no longer than ten centimeters.
Now that he had the means, building his own fishpond sounded like a good idea. Once he mastered the Tailed Beast Bomb, he could dig one wherever he wanted. Plus, using Tailed Beast Mode made digging faster.
The only problem was whether Kurama would agree. Its enormous size definitely wasn't suitable for public appearances.
Lost in thought, Naruto sent his Shadow Clones to dig the pit.
The clones shouted excitedly, "Face Release: Dust Explosion Technique!" as they charged toward the designated location.
First, they tossed out several cans of flour, punched the ground with their right fists to loosen it, then lit the flour with torches in their left hands. Two loud explosions later, dust filled the air.
Meanwhile, Naruto began twitching uncontrollably.
Hiruzen put away his crystal ball and swallowed half a bottle of painkillers.
I beg of you, use your techniques for something productive! Shadow Clones aren't construction workers or digging machines, and flour isn't meant to be used like this. Since the founding of Konoha, there has never been such a thing as "Face Release," for heaven's sake!
And using it like this would make Ichiraku Ramen's owner cry.
After pondering for a moment, Hiruzen adjusted the crystal ball's view to the women's bathhouse, hoping to lift his spirits.
At first, the crystal ball displayed static, but the image gradually cleared, revealing the misty silhouettes of young women.
Just as Hiruzen prepared to zoom in, a flash of white hair appeared. An old man snatched a blue-and-white striped item and vanished with a Body Flicker Technique. On his way out, he also swiped a pink-and-white garment from the wall.
Hiruzen swallowed the remaining half-bottle of painkillers. With these two around, he felt like his days were numbered.
"Dog One, go buy me some more painkillers."
"Have you guys seen my striped underwear?"
"Mine's gone too."
"Could it have been washed away?"
"Impossible. Do you think someone stole it?"
"Then forget it. Let's head back. It's lunchtime."
As the group exited, two of them held down their skirts, taking small, cautious steps.
"Wind Release: Updraft!" The tipsy white-haired old man hiding in the shadows muttered to himself.
"AHHHH!!!"
A group of young women scattered in panic.
"How are you here again?" Naruto had just taken out his lunch when he saw Jiraiya. This old man's timing was impeccable.
"Hehehe…" A lecherous laugh echoed through the air.
"Perverted old man, what's that bulge in your pocket?"
"Hehehe, silky smooth…"
"Perverted Sage, can you act normal for once?!"