The classroom buzzed with a soft monotony—chalk against board, the hum of ceiling fans, and the occasional shuffle of textbooks. But Ai… Ai didn't hear a thing.
Her pen twirled lazily between her fingers, the tip barely touching the edge of her notebook. Her chin rested on her palm, cheek squished slightly as her eyes drifted to the window, completely unfocused.
Onii-chan…
He'd been smiling a lot lately.
Because of Yuki-san.
That alone was enough to make Ai's heart ache a little, stomach twisting like a knot she couldn't undo. Of course, she knew Shin loved her. She got all his hugs, his kisses, his soft pats, his bedtime cuddles. She had everything. Everything except the one thing she wasn't supposed to want.
It wasn't fair.
Yuki got his attention in front of everyone. Got to walk home with him. Got to sit next to him during meals. Got to flirt, blush, act shy, and pull at Shin's sleeve like she used to do.
Her fingers stilled.
"…Ouch."
Ai blinked, broken out of her spiral by a soft poke to her arm.
She turned her head slowly. "Rika?"
Rika grinned, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "You were miles away, Ai-chan. Daydreaming again?"
Ai gave a small pout. "Was I that obvious?"
Rika leaned closer across their shared desk. "Super obvious. You've been fidgeting for the last ten minutes, and I swear you sighed, like, seven times."
Ai looked down at her notebook, the page still blank. Then back at Rika. "Sorry…"
A pause.
"Thinking about your Onii-chan again?" Rika said, voice light, teasing—but there was a flicker in her gaze. One Ai didn't catch.
Ai didn't answer right away. She simply pressed her cheek back into her palm, eyes growing distant again.
"…He stayed up with me last night," she said softly. "Just the two of us."
Rika tried to smile. "That's nothing new."
"…But it was different this time," Ai murmured, her voice lowering like a secret. "He used his fingers on me. I really liked it."
Rika's hand stiffened slightly on the desk. Her eyes blinked once, then again—fast.
"And I… um… I used my mouth a little too." Ai's cheeks flushed, but she wasn't flustered. No, she looked dreamy. Possessive. "He was so warm. So gentle."
Rika stared.
Then let out a sharp exhale through her nose and gave a smirk. "You two are so disgusting."
Ai blinked. "Eh?!"
"Seriously." Rika laughed, rolling her eyes in exaggerated mockery. "He's hot, sure. Like, textbook pretty-boy hot. But you two? Gross."
Ai puffed out her cheeks. "You're just jealous."
You don't even know.
Rika wanted to say that. She wanted to scream it, to grab Ai's hand and tell her she was beautiful too, that someone else loved her. But instead, she snorted and leaned back in her chair.
"Totally. Jealous of siblings doing weird stuff in secret. I wish I had a brother to… you know, let me fidget with him under the covers," she said sarcastically, resting her head on her folded arms. Her face turned away just enough to hide the sting in her eyes.
Ai smiled proudly, completely missing Rika's tone.
"I knew you'd be jealous," she said with a light laugh. "You've always liked Onii-chan, haven't you? You always call him 'Onii-san' with that dreamy look."
"Please." Rika flicked her pen at Ai's shoulder. "I'm only nice to him because he makes amazing pancakes. And because he's your brother."
Ai grinned. "Then you do like him."
Rika rolled her eyes again, but her smile was tighter now. "He's… fine. Just keep your weird Onii-complex away from me."
Ai pouted. "You're mean."
"You're obsessed."
Ai looked down again. The page was still blank. Her fingers moved, scribbling a single word in the corner of the paper: Onii-chan.
"…But I can't help it," she whispered. "He's everything to me."
Rika's chest clenched.
"I know."
There was a silence between them, broken only by the soft murmur of the teacher at the front.
Then Ai sat up straight, eyes sparkling. "He kissed my forehead three times this morning. And tucked my hair behind my ear. He told me I was prettier than any other girl."
"You are pretty," Rika said before she could stop herself.
Ai looked at her.
Rika blinked, then grinned quickly. "I mean, obviously. That's why you get away with being a weirdo."
Ai laughed.
"I'm not a weirdo!"
"You're the weirdest weirdo I've ever met."
"Mean."
"…Yours."
The last word slipped from Rika's lips too softly to be heard.
Ai leaned forward suddenly, whispering, "Do you think Yuki-san will do that with him too?"
Rika stiffened again. "Huh?"
"You know… like me."
"I don't want to know," Rika hissed, cheeks flaring.
Ai tilted her head. "Why not?"
"Because I'm trying to enjoy lunch later without throwing up, thanks."
Ai giggled.
"He probably will," she said after a moment. "He spends so much time with him. They went out yesterday… but Onii-chan told me he missed my smell. He always says that."
"I'm sure he does," Rika muttered.
"He even hugged me from behind while I was brushing my hair," Ai said, eyes sparkling again. "He said my neck looked soft."
Rika slapped a hand to her forehead. "Okay, okay, stop. I surrender. You win the gross sibling Olympics."
Ai beamed. "Yay!"
"Now please focus on your math notes before we both fail."
"Later. I'll get Onii-chan to tutor me."
"Of course you will."
As the teacher's voice droned on, Rika glanced sideways at Ai, who was now scribbling doodles of hearts and little stick figures—one clearly marked "Onii-chan" with a bigger smile.
Rika smiled faintly too.
Even if Ai would never see her that way… just being beside her was enough.
For now.
---
The bell rang.
Students stirred in their seats, some rising to stretch, others flipping notebooks closed with exaggerated relief. Ai stayed seated, humming softly as she finished doodling a final heart beside the words "Onii-chan is mine."
Rika didn't move either.
Instead, she just stared at Ai, her brows ever so slightly furrowed.
"…Hey," she said, leaning in again. "Earlier… what did you mean when you said you used your mouth?"
Ai blinked, still lost in her dreamy mood. "Hmm?"
"You said…" Rika glanced around to make sure no one was close, then whispered, "You said he used his fingers on you. And then you used your mouth. I let it slide before, but now I'm stuck thinking about it. What exactly did you do?"
Ai tilted her head like it was the most normal question in the world. "Oh. That."
Rika gave a tight smile. "Yes. That."
"Well…" Ai poked her fingers together, clearly not shy, just thoughtful. "Onii-chan used his fingers… on me."
"Yeah. I figured," Rika muttered, flushing a little.
Ai nodded. "And then I used my mouth too. A little too much, Onii-chan said. But he looked really happy afterward."
Rika stiffened. "Wait—like, you kissed him or…"
Ai looked at her curiously. "You don't mean just kisses, right?"
"…Then what do you mean?"
Ai leaned in, her eyes twinkling. "I made him feel really, really good. That's what matters, right?"
Rika nearly choked. Her voice lowered to a strained whisper. "Are you saying what I think you're saying…?"
Ai just tilted her head and smiled sweetly. "I'm not saying anything bad."
Rika stared.
Ai giggled and wagged a finger. "But you're blushing, Rikaaa~ You must be imagining something naughty!"
"You said it!" Rika hissed. "You said you used your mouth! What else could I imagine?!"
Ai put a finger to her lips, looking absolutely smug. "He said I was cute when I did it. And warm."
Rika buried her face in her hands.
"I hate you sometimes."
"No, you don't."
"Okay, yeah, I don't."
There was a beat.
Then Rika sighed again, but this time softer. "Ai… you're really serious about him, aren't you?"
Ai's smile faded a little. Her hands dropped to her lap, fingers curling around the edge of her skirt.
"I don't think I've ever loved anyone more than I love Onii-chan."
Rika's chest tightened, and she looked down.
"I know."
"And I know it's weird. But when I'm near him, I feel safe. Warm. Like the world's quiet." Ai's voice grew softer, barely above a whisper. "Even if I can't have everything, I just want to stay close. As close as he'll let me."
Rika didn't respond right away. She couldn't. Her throat felt tight, her heart aching in places she couldn't show.
So she laughed instead, pushing her shoulder gently into Ai's. "You're both insane, you know that?"
Ai grinned. "Yup."
"And kind of disgusting."
"Still jealous?"
"…A little."
They both smiled.
And though Rika kept her secrets locked away, just for now… sitting beside Ai, sharing this twisted honesty — it felt enough to breathe again.
Even if Ai would never know just how hard Rika's heart beat every time she smiled like that.
---
END OF CHAPTER : 55 : AI CAN'T THINK PROPERLY!
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