Chapter 49: "Cloud Riders & Cafe Crashes"(In which Naruto literally builds more heaven, Shikamaru finds his calling, and Kiba learns cloud drifting.)
You ever try to plan something serious with a bunch of ninja, a taijutsu lunatic, and a copy ninja who reads romance novels during explosions?
Yeah. Welcome to my life.
We were floating high above the clouds in our super-stealthy flying fortress—The Azure Gale (which sounds like a luxury perfume but is actually an airborne chakra-powered death machine). Inside the war room—which, by the way, had beanbags and way too many snack wrappers for anything "strategic"—we had gathered for a big meeting.
"So," I said, pulling out a scroll. "Agenda item number one: beat up a lightning god."
Sakura groaned. "Naruto, please say that with more context."
"Fine. Beat up a lightning god for a good reason." I grinned. "Happy now?"
Kakashi, of course, was flipping through his Icha Icha novel and didn't even look up. "Technically, he's not a real god. Just a Logia-type user with delusions of thunder-based grandeur."
"Still counts," Kiba chimed in, stuffing his face with dried meat. "He literally fried an entire island once. That's god-ish."
Hinata raised her hand politely. "Um… what's the goal again?"
I clapped my hands together. "Simple. Step one: we find Enel, the guy with the Rumble Rumble fruit. Step two: we beat him up. Step three: we steal his fruit and give it to Kakashi-sensei. Boom! Lightning God Kakashi unlocked."
There was a beat of silence.
Then Gai fist-pumped like he just found out spinach was actually a chakra enhancer. "YES! My Eternal Rival shall become a Storm Deity of Youth!"
Kakashi sighed and finally closed his book. "Do I have a choice in this?"
"Nope," I said. "This is how democracy works. We voted. Hinata brought cookies. The cookies win."
Gaara, who had been silently sanding a piece of the table for the past ten minutes (don't ask), spoke up next.
"And after that?"
Right. The serious part.
"After that," I said, sobering up, "we keep moving. Because let's face it—this world isn't our home. We've got to keep getting stronger, smarter, and maybe pick up some weird tech or magic or devil-fruit hacks so we don't die the next time a dragon sneezes near us."
"Or when some world boss decides to eat the moon," Shino added like that was a normal fear.
I continued, "The plan is to gather power—skills, allies, territory—because eventually we might have to open a portal to find our way home. That portal could lead us to somewhere like… demon realm Vegas."
Kiba perked up. "Is that a real place?"
"Probably. And if it isn't, it will be once we open the wrong door."
Sasuke was still missing. The Akatsuki were out there somewhere. And we had no clue if our original world even existed in the same multiverse zip code anymore. So yeah, getting stronger wasn't optional—it was survival.
Even I, the totally awesome, ramen-fueled, fox-powered demigod, couldn't carry everyone forever.
That's why we needed Lightning God Kakashi.
That's why we were in Skypiea.
And that's why our floating ninja death ship was silently approaching a city in the clouds with the enthusiasm of a field trip—but, like, one where someone might explode.
I sat back and sighed.
"Okay, meeting adjourned. Everyone stretch, hydrate, and get ready to possibly anger a false god with lightning powers."
Sakura leaned over with a smirk. "Are we at least going to pretend to be diplomatic?"
"Absolutely not."
Everyone nodded in approval.
Operation Zap That Cloud Egomaniac and Save the Multiverse was a go.
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Okay, real talk?
Skypiea was gorgeous. Like, punch-yourself-in-the-eyes pretty. Like "is this heaven or did someone spike my ramen with hallucinogenic cloud mushrooms" levels of amazing. Naruto Uzumaki had seen a lot of cool things lately—a flying chakra warship, cursed swords, giant snakes that may or may not have needed therapy—but Skypiea?
This was on another level.
So naturally, the ninja crew split up like it was a school field trip.
Kakashi, being the elusive cool uncle of the group, wandered off with Viola, Kurenai, and Asuma—because apparently "adult supervision" required sunglasses, deep philosophical sighs, and one romantic tension subplot per square meter. Naruto had no clue what they were doing, but knowing Kakashi, he was probably multitasking espionage with sipping tea and flirting in slow motion.
The girls—Hinata, Sakura, and Ino—gracefully vanished into the shopping district like a perfectly coordinated kunoichi tornado of chaos and credit limits. Naruto was 99% sure they were going to make him try on matching outfits later. He feared that more than Enel's lightning.
Neji had gone off with Tenten, who was still working through some mild post-cursed-sword possession trauma. But it was fine. They'd probably turn the therapy into a sparring match. Or a dating sim. Hard to tell with those two.
Which left the Boys' Brigade.
Naruto, Gaara, Kankuro, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Choji, Lee, and Gai—together in a land of fluffy cloud walkways, fruit that tasted like happiness, and animals that flew because physics gave up.
"Bro, we need one of these cloud birds back home," Kiba said, watching a flying ostrich-bat thing flap overhead. "Akamaru would ride it like a boss."
"It wouldn't survive five minutes in Konoha," Shikamaru muttered. "Too chill. A squirrel would mug it."
Naruto nodded, wide-eyed as he tasted a cloud banana that sparked with a little lightning. "Okay, guys, hear me out. We use Sage Mode to infuse chakra into clouds. We make Cloud Leaf. New floating village. We build hot springs on it. We vibe."
"I support this plan," Choji said, cheeks full of cloud-fruit mochi.
Even Gaara, the eternal poker-faced sand guy, looked mildly impressed. "This would make an excellent retreat spot for the Kage Summit."
Kankuro snorted. "Assuming the Kage don't fall off the side."
"We can build railings!" Naruto added enthusiastically, then immediately tripped on one of the bouncy cloud bridges. Lee caught him mid-fall and landed in a pose that would've broken most people's spines.
"Fear not! The Power of Youth prevents gravity from claiming our dreams!"
Gai high-fived him midair. The sky exploded with sparkles.
They went from cloud gardens to dial-powered hover-ramen shops. Naruto ate so much he started bouncing instead of walking.
Shino, ever the bug guy, was nerding out over the cloud beetles. "These insects have evolved to feed on pure air," he whispered reverently. "I must have one."
"As a pet?" Kankuro asked.
"Yes."
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Eventually, they landed near the edge of the Upper Yard, where some old ruins stood watching the clouds roll by. Naruto sat down with the boys, wind ruffling his spiky hair.
"You know," he said, "if we ever get home—and we will—I wanna make something like this. Not just a village. A dream. Something peaceful. Something beautiful."
"You're thinking like a Hokage," Gaara said calmly, crossing his arms.
Naruto blinked. "That's 'cause I am gonna be Hokage."
"I know," Gaara said. "That's why it's working."
Shikamaru sighed, lying back against a cloud rock. "Man, this trip was supposed to be chill. Now we're making international chakra city plans?"
"Shut up," Naruto grinned. "You'll be mayor of Lazy Town."
"Tempting."
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So… turns out Naruto Uzumaki, teenage chaos machine and ramen aficionado, could literally build pieces of heaven now.
It started with a thought—just a dumb little idea as he sat on a puff of warm, spongy Skypiean cloud, his Sage Mode active and humming like a bird on caffeine. He reached out, casually poking the edge of a regular cloud with his chakra-infused finger.
And it didn't pop.
It thickened. Hardened. Turned from wispy air fluff into something solid—like Skypiea's cloud ground.
"No way," Kiba muttered, eyes wide as Akamaru barked in awe. "You're telling me you can just make Skypiea?"
"Kinda," Naruto said, blinking like he hadn't meant to do it. "I just pushed a bunch of nature energy into the water molecules and… boom. Solid cloud."
"...So what you're saying," Shikamaru said, pushing himself up with the speed of a man whose entire worldview just shifted, "is that walking is now optional."
"Exactly," Naruto said, grinning. "Cloud cars. Cloud boats. Cloud apartments. You name it."
That's all it took. The boys immediately got to work like a bunch of overly excited kids in a pillow fort-building contest—with superpowers.
Naruto created platforms, trails, even little spiral ramps. Lee was trying to run laps around them in mid-air. Kiba and Akamaru tried to race but mostly just fell off and had to be rescued by Gaara's sand (which, to be fair, looked really smug for some reason).
"Cloud surfing is an art form!" Kiba declared, right before crashing into a very confused cloud sheep.
Shino, floating on his own insect-made cloud board, was taking notes like a stoic sky professor. "Insects prefer solid footing," he said. "But this will suffice."
Choji turned his cloud into a recliner and was munching on cloud-corn. "Guys… this is the dream. This is peak. I'm not coming down."
Even Gaara cracked a tiny smile when Naruto gifted him a cloud shaped like a gourd. "Very subtle," Gaara said, sitting on it like a dignified cloud prince.
And Shikamaru?
"I'm never walking again," he declared, arms behind his head, laying flat on a cloud that drifted lazily through the air like a hammock on vacation. "This is it. Peak shinobi evolution."
The cloud riders soared through the sky like a squad of magical sky pirates (but, you know, less stabby). Their path wound up over the floating city-scape until they spotted a lively, bustling spot nestled between cloud trees and dial-lit lanterns.
A café.
Not just any café.
It was shaped like a giant pumpkin. It sparkled with soft pink light. The scent of sugar and cinnamon hit them like a jutsu.
"Dibs on the biggest cinnamon roll," Choji whispered reverently.
"No fighting," Naruto said, then paused. "Okay, fighting's allowed if it's cool."
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The ninja boys made their entrance like an overly dramatic boy band dropping out of the heavens on floating clouds—which, to be fair, they were. Parking their newly crafted sage-mode puffs in the lot beside a bunch of Skypiean wavers and dial-powered food carts, they dismounted with the kind of flair usually reserved for movie premieres or high-stakes ramen competitions.
Tourists gawked. Locals gasped. A baby cloud sheep fainted.
"I told you guys not to pose when you land," Shikamaru groaned as Naruto gave a peace sign and Lee flexed like it was the Chuunin Exams all over again.
"Let them stare," Naruto said, flashing his brightest grin. "We are fashion. We are ninja. We are cloud-chic."
Choji pointed at the sign. "We are… at a pumpkin-themed café."
Inside, Smoker was sipping black coffee with the expression of a man who hadn't relaxed since the pirate era began. Tashigi, meanwhile, was diving into a mountain of cloud cake like a woman possessed.
"Captain," she said with a full mouth, "this cloud fruit cream is a gift from the sea gods."
"You said that about the dial muffins," Smoker replied, smoke curling lazily from his cigar.
"They were!" she defended. "I've earned this."
Smoker grunted, nodded slightly, and kept sipping. That was his way of saying "you're doing a great job" without exploding from human emotion.
Then… he felt it.
A pressure. A ripple. The air shifted.
"Pirates?" Tashigi asked, reaching for her blade.
"Worse," Smoker said, standing. "Something else."
He turned toward the entrance just in time to see Gaara stepping down from his cloud platform—robed, calm, sand gourd on his back, red hair swaying gently.
"It's Crocodile," Smoker growled. "He's changed form."
Then Smoker launched himself forward like a sentient freight train.
Outside, things were going great.
Naruto was grinning like a fox at a henhouse tea party.
"Gaara's got the look," he whispered to Kankuro. "The Look-Look."
"The what?"
"You know, the 'I just met an angel and I don't know how to feel because I used to be emotionally constipated' look."
"Oh, that look," Kankuro said. "Temari did that when she met that one hot tea master. This is gonna be fun."
Back inside the cafe, time slowed.
Gaara's eyes met Conis's.
She was holding a bazooka under the counter like it was the most casual thing in the world. Her blonde hair caught the light like it had a personal halo. Her jaw was firm. Her stance steady.
"Intruders?" she asked, eyes scanning.
But then—bam—eye contact.
She blinked.
Gaara blinked.
Cue romantic koto music.
In Gaara's eyes, Conis wasn't just a girl with an anti-pirate rocket launcher. She was sunshine incarnate, wrapped in pastel skirts and café vibes. A protective spirit of warmth.
In Conis's eyes, Gaara was a storm, silent and strong, a boy with the weight of a thousand deserts behind his eyes.
Their hearts whispered, I choose violence and romance.
And then—
BOOM.
Smoker slammed into Gaara from the side like a cannonball made of smoke and Marine fury.
"I knew it!" Smoker yelled. "You're not fooling me with a new haircut, Crocodile!"
"I am not Crocodile," Gaara said, deadpan, sand rising instinctively.
"That's exactly what Crocodile would say!"
Outside, Shino sighed.
"So much for vacation."
He moved like a shadow, intercepting Smoker mid-lunge. His insect armor pulsed and whirred, forming a protective carapace over his arms. His bugs buzzed with anticipation.
"Sir, this is a mistake," Shino said. "You're attacking the Kazekage of the Hidden Sand Village."
"I'm attacking a war criminal with a gourd full of sand," Smoker retorted, swinging his smoke baton.
Shino parried with a strike of hardened beetles, the clash sending out a shockwave that knocked over a table of terrified tourists. The cake went flying. Tashigi reached for her sword, but Shikamaru flicked his fingers.
"Shadow Possession Jutsu: Activated," he said, pinning her in place like a literal chill pill.
"I knew I should've stayed on the ship," she groaned.
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