Aman hit himself multiple times. He really did it for her safety. He had truly left Mei Lian to the Major… just hoping praying that the man wouldn't do anything to her.
The thought of it made Aman want to vomit. His stomach twisted painfully at the image of her being held there, alone. Why had he left? Why did he agree to this?
But the decision had already been made.
It was this… or both of them would suffer the consequences. And Mei Lian she had tried to reassure him back then, even when she was trembling herself, she trying convince Aman it okay and he should go for good both of them.
Now, he was actually leaving.
He glanced at the sling bag over his shoulder. Everything was packed inside, and Henry pistol was safely tucked in. At least the Major had given it back. Some kind of twisted gesture of trust, maybe. Or a test.
Whatever it was, Aman had passed.
Now he was just another pawn. He knew it. And what could he do about it?
Nothing.
He was being forced to play the role of a spy.
...
He paused by a puddle, the clear water reflecting a distorted version of himself. Crouching, he used his fingers to pull open his left eyelid. The empty socket stared back at him raw, unsettling, hollow.
It reminded him of Carter.
Carter had lost his left eye too. Survived it. Lived with it. And returned… transformed into something terrifying. Something different.
Aman wondered what Carter had seen with his remaining eye. What he had endured to come back like that.
In some way, they were reflections of each other now mirrored souls damaged by violence.
Carter, the ghost with a missing eye, wore it like a badge. A medal of pride, as though it were proof of survival.
Aman took out a cloth Mei Lian had given it to him earlier. He folded it carefully, rolling it before tying it around his head, covering the empty socket like an eyepatch.
"This is better," he muttered to himself. Then he stood and looked ahead.
He needed to move.
There had to be a village nearby… or something. A checkpoint, a group, a scout, anything. His next stop was Rawang. He pulled out the map and compass.
The map was given to him by the Major. It was surprisingly detailed military grade. Far better than the ones he had used before.
"I wonder how I'm supposed to read this, i can read map and compass hell thisnone better than i stole from British soldiers" Aman mumbled, brow furrowing. "Problem is… where am I now?"
He looked up. The sun had shifted, and his sense of direction was fuzzy. He'd walked all day without keeping track. Foolish. Now, he was lost. He needed to find someone maybe even someone from the KMM. That would be ideal.
...
Later, as the sun dipped closer to the horizon, Aman squatted by a small campfire. He had caught a fish and left it cooking over the flames no spices, no garnish, just raw survival.
As he waited, he held Henry pistol in his hand, aiming it lazily at different directions, a reflex born of paranoia more than threat. The gun gave him a small illusion of control.
Then he heard it.
A rustling sound.
Leaves crunching.
Footsteps.
He turned sharply, gun raised.
"Get out now," he barked, voice cold. "I'm not asking again."
Silence.
"Ten… nine… eight… seven…"
"Okay, okay! I'm coming out! Please don't shoot!"
A boy emerged from the brush, hands raised. He looked around Aman's age maybe even the same.
Aman approached him with aggressive steps, acting like he was about to strike. The boy flinched and raised his arms in defense, but it was clear he didn't want to fight. He just stood there, trembling.
Aman stopped and sighed. "Okay. Tell me your name."
"My name?" the boy asked, confused.
Aman facepalmed. "No, I'm asking that tree what its name is. Of course I'm asking you! What's your damn name?!"
"Eep! Okay, okay! My name's… ahhh… Latif," the boy stammered.
"Latif?" Aman asked, squinting at him.
"Yeah," the boy nodded nervously.
"How can you say ahhh in the middle of your own name?"
"I… I don't know," Latif replied, eyes darting.
"What do you mean you don't kno.. never mind." Aman groaned and stepped back, observing him.
The boy was timid. Too timid. Even Mei Lian wasn't this kind of timid, and she was often silent and reserved. She had bravery, though more than Aman ever gave her credit for. She had the nerve to slap the Major. Shot Carter in the neck without hesitation. That took guts and she literally use to carry Aman when Aman was badly injured because that torture.
This Latif? He looked like he'd faint if someone raised their voice.
"So, where are we now?" Aman asked. He didn't care who Latif was. He just wanted to get to Kuala Lumpur, meet the KMM, and be done with this.
"We're at…" Latif began, but he froze.
A shout rang out.
"There you are! I told you to get the bamboo I needed! Who's this?"
Aman turned.
A new boy approached. Slightly overweight, with an arrogant walk and surrounded by other boys. He looked like trouble.
Aman rolled his eyes and casually picked his ear before turning to Latif.
"Sorry!" Latif squeaked. "I.. I saw a snake, and I dropped the machete and ran…"
His voice trembled, obviously making excuses.
Aman just sighed. Not his problem. These weren't the answers he needed. He considered leaving.
But if there were kids, there must be a village nearby.
He turned and faced the fat boy.
"Show me your village, Fatty."
It wasn't a question. It was a command.
Latif gasped and quickly stepped closer to Aman, whispering, "His dad's a civil servant. Meets British officers all the time… Don't anger him. He goes to an English school."
English school?
Now that was interesting.
Aman nearly got in himself once. His father a nurse was educated, taught Aman how to read and count. He'd passed the entrance, but the village chief and his son took the available slot. Aman was told to wait another year.
"Pretty stupid, huh?" Aman muttered.
"Latif," the fat boy said mockingly. "This your friend? He looks weird with that cloth over his head. And look, there's a scar."
Aman didn't care.
Latif tried to calm the situation, stepping away from Aman. "He hit his head… hehe…"
But Aman had had enough.
He walked up to the fat boy and grabbed his collar. "Just lead me to your village. And shut your mouth."
"Hey! Look at your clothes! There's holes everywhere. Sluggish looking. My clothes are expensive! You know who my father is?!"
Aman's eyes narrowed.
"I know your father works for the British. And the Japanese are here now. Won't be long before they realize your father is useless."
That got their attention.
"Oi, do you know who he is?! He's the son of" another boy began, but Aman immediately let go of the collar and punched him in the face.
"You guys are really annoying."
Then, in one motion, Aman pulled off the cloth covering his eye.
The boys stared in horror.
There was nothing there. Just a hollow socket.
"What the" one boy muttered, recoiling.
"Come on," Aman said, wrapping the cloth around his knuckles like a bandage. "Come get me."
Latif rushed to his side. "Stop! You're not going to win! It's five of them! You're alone!"
He turned to the group, nervous. "Rahim… sorry about him. I found him in the jungle. He hit his head…"
The fat boy named Rahim snarled and signaled his group to move.
They advanced on Aman.
He met them head-on.
It wasn't even a fight. Aman slapped each one down with practiced ease. Four boys five with Rahim and they fell like dominoes.
He had experience now. Real experience. Not schoolyard brawls. This basically Aman toying with them hell he got pistol also but yeah better not freak this kids too much.
He had been shaped by blood, fear, death. Trained by pain.
As Rahim and his group scattered, Latif stood frozen.
Aman turned to him and grabbed his shoulder, smiling eerily.
"Please, show me where the village is?"
...
There was a stark difference between Aman and the other boys.
They were the same age.
But Aman had been pushed into hell. Surrounded by monsters. Manipulated, tortured, reshaped.
And now, the boy he had been was gone. Carved into someone else. Something else.
What a surprise, huh?
Now all Aman wanted was to know where he was and find something anything in the village. Supplies. Allies. Maybe collaborators. Or KMM operatives.
Didn't matter.
His mind drifted back to Mei Lian. To staying alive. To following the Major's orders.
He looked up at the sky, exhaling.
"Ah… I really turned into someone's dog, huh?" he murmured.
It was almost funny now.
Just a few months ago, he was a different person.
Now?
Now, he wasn't even sure who he was anymore.
But he kept walking.
Because that was the only thing he could do.