I don't believe that I've ever been fully in love.
Because trees never water themselves...
It's much better than the loneliness that lately I've been dreaming of...
I see now why I keep this brittle little heart here on a shelf.
-
And I can't seem to...
Fuck, I don't know...
Shit, I can't even think.
I think,
I'm on the brink
Of breaking through,
Or I just need a drink...
And.
-
Maybe I should call her over...
Maybe on the weekend...
Or
Maybe I'm just overthinking...
Maybe I'm just sinkin'
Maybe I'll hold that one against me,
I'm too good at that...
Far too good at compartmentalizing,
I don't tit for tat...
-
So picture that.
-
A thousand little boxes
Lined in studied little rolls.
Holding all the sorted interactions
With a thousand studied souls.
And.
How I've sorted them,
I'm sure that here,
Nobody really knows...
Chipping at my heart
To keep the fires lit
With fickle flecks of coal...
-
Every time I sit and write another poem
This blackened heart begins to crack...
For the better?
The shadows have lessened,
Maybe that could be the true answer to that.
It's not real...
That is just me reminiscing...
About how she'd shimmer
And shine
How in mid-summer, she'd glisten...
And
I never stared,
But I cared...
I was always fucking listening!
I swear,
I was there!
I'm sorry I'm not perfect...pristine.
That's...
-
Not here, nor there...
Never fair,
But do I even care?
Shifting through old boxes
For old foxes
Not even in pairs...
Those memories
Come palpably...
Pain or pleasure?
I can't compare...
The dust is accumulating,
I think I need a little air...
-
I don't believe that I've ever really gotten over
Any of my exes
But who has?
Simultaneously wondering
Who the next is?
That's one pass.
From one class.
And life is full of those lessons.
Unfortunately, it takes us falling
To realize all of our blessings...