[SHINJI – TRANSMIGRATION COMPLETE]
[DESTINATION: TRANSKINGDOM]
[JK JK JK]
[REAL DESTINATION: KING'S LANDING]
At the edge of the Kingdom stood a forgotten outpost tower—half-eaten by ivy, half-ignored by the world. The wind howled endlessly over dry stone, and the sky sagged with lazy clouds.
Two guards slouched on wooden crates by the parapet, their armor dull, their expressions duller.
Carl kicked at a loose rock with his boot, scowling.
"This post sucks dick," he muttered. "We're seven kingdoms away from anything. If an army invaded right now, the capital wouldn't hear about it 'til next winter."
Beside him, Jonno picked at the dirt under his fingernails.
"Maybe next time, don't call the captain a 'horse-faced, weak-ass bitch,' and we wouldn't be stuck out here guarding wheat."
Carl shrugged. "I was drunk. Thought he was my father."
Jonno shot him a look. "Yeah? Well, next time you're working through your daddy issues, leave me out of it."
There was a pause. Wind. Silence. Somewhere below, a crow cawed like it had given up on life.
"If only," Carl began again, "humans had some magical way to send information instantly. Like… I dunno. A mystical orb floating in the stars. It beams thoughts through invisible threads. Maybe through fiber-optic vines. People could talk. Share secrets. Goblin jokes. All anonymously."
Jonno stared at him like he'd grown a second head. "You been sniffing phoenix dust again?"
"I'm serious," Carl insisted. "Imagine a platform. No names. No faces. Just raw human thought flying around."
Jonno raised an eyebrow. "So basically… chaos? People insulting each other, correcting speling miztakes, starting fights over food opinions and picking on the Goblin minority because they are green?"
Carl blinked. "That actually sounds... yeah, no. That's way off."
Jonno scoffed.
"Worst idea I've ever heard. You want people invisible and opinionated? If that existed, society would collapse faster than a dragon on crack."
He jabbed a finger in the air. "And I don't need to remind you how dangerous Mystical creatures and drugs can be. Nearly wiped out the entire Kingdom of Garman."
Carl shrugged. "Still better than sending pigeons—or some poor guy who has to run miles—only for both of them to get eaten mid-air."
Jonno waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. Give it a rest, Carl."
Another beat of silence. The wind whistled mournfully.
"You think people would post feet pics?" Carl asked out of nowhere.
Jonno didn't even blink. "Absolutely. And others would pay for them."
Carl nodded slowly. "I'd kinda pay for them."
"That's cause You're weird, Carl. I'm telling your mum."
"Don't. I still sleep in her barn."
The two fell quiet again. A groan echoed from somewhere inside the tower.
Carl scratched his head. "Still bored. Wanna talk about something?"
Jonno sighed. "Like what?"
Carl leaned forward, thoughtful. "You ever wonder how we know how to have sex?"
Jonno froze. "Carl… we're both virgins."
"Yeah, but think about it. Who told the first humans where to put it? There wasn't some divine scroll labeled, 'Insert tab A into slot B.' What if the first time was just... an accident? A happy slip?"
Jonno stared off into the fields. "…I don't hate that theory."
"I could write a book about it," Carl said proudly. "Maybe call it… Sama Zuptra."
"Definitely sounds like a virgin wrote it."jonno
Carl continued undeterred. "And what if there was a magic platform where people posted themselves doing it—so others could, y'know, learn and watch anytime and anytypes?"
"If that existed, someone would charge a subscription fees to watch," Jonno said immediately.
Carl looked genuinely offended. "What? Why would—" He paused. "Actually… you're kinda right."
Jonno nodded. "That's humans for you. Take something natural, slap a fee on it."
Carl narrowed his eyes. "How do you know what a subscription fee is?"
"I don't. It just came to me. Maybe it's like… spiritual enlightenment."
Carl clicked his tongue and muttered, "Tch. That's capitalism for you."
Jonni raised a brow. "Capitalism..yeah. Wait, what is capitalism?"
Carl leaned back, hands behind his head, grinning like he'd just solved the secrets of the universe.
"I don't know. Just sounded right."
The wind howled again. A tumbleweed rolled by. Somehow. In a forest.
Carl's brow furrowed. "Do you think humanity is just one big incest?"
Jonno dropped his head into his hands. "Carl. Please."
"No, seriously," Carl continued. "If we all came from the same two people—then technically—"
"Nope," Jonno cut him off. "Not doing this. Not going down that cursed road."
Suddenly, a loud crack tore through the sky.
A shimmering portal split open above the tower, swirling with wild, chaotic energy. Out of it fell a man, screaming. Arms flailing. Legs kicking.
Carl squinted up. "…Is that another one?"
Jonno shaded his eyes. "Yep. Poor bastard's dead."
Carl sighed and stood. "I'll get the shovel."
He walked off without urgency. A moment later, he returned, dragging the shovel behind him.
"…Still falling?" he asked, glancing up.
Jonno nodded. "Sky's probably backed up again."
Carl frowned. "Wait. He's headed for that one bush."
"That oddly convenient bush," Jonno agreed. "Just soft enough to break the fall… but not the bones."
Carl narrowed his eyes. "That's suspiciously specific."
"Almost like someone's writing this," Jonno said flatly.
"You think he's the main character?"
"Doubt it."
THUD.
They both winced slightly.
Carl leaned forward. "…He made it?"
"Right in the bush," Jonno confirmed.
"Lucky bastard."
Jonno crossed his arms. "Should we check on him?"
Carl shook his head. "Nah. Let him wake up confused. It's tradition." Then we go.
***
[SHINJI – TRANSMIGRATION COMPLETE]
[DESTINATION: WELCOME TO KING'S LANDING]
Shinji finally realized he had landed in a different world when he looked up and saw the moon—during the day. It just hung there, bold and visible in the sky like it didn't care about the laws of nature.
A soft chime echoed in his head.
[SYSTEM BOOT COMPLETE]
[WELCOME TO KING'S LANDING]
[FIRST MISSION: Locate the nearest locals]
Still lying in a bush, Shinji groaned. "Bloody hell… that was a drop."
He sat up, brushing leaves off his clothes and looking around. The bush he had landed in was perfectly rounded, densely packed, and suspiciously soft—almost as if the universe had planned for him to crash exactly here.
He squinted at it. "This thing is engineered. Who the hell designs a bush like this in the middle of nowhere? That fall should've killed me."
The wind whistled through oddly shaped trees. Birds—if they were birds—called in unfamiliar tones. Shinji stood, stretching his back until it popped.
Then he saw it.
Towering in the distance stood a spiraling outpost. Jagged and ancient, it hummed faintly with a strange, magical resonance—like the land itself was whispering secrets through its stone. It looked old, important… and possibly dangerous.
At the base of the structure, two guards stood. Even from this distance, Shinji could feel their gaze—locked directly on him. They weren't afraid. They didn't look angry either.
If anything… they looked sorry for him.
Like they already knew something he didn't.
He exhaled slowly.
"Well... might as well start the journey."
He took his first step.
And immediately tripped over the bush.