Selene~
Pointed fingers. Everywhere.
Of course, there was actually no one pointing fingers at me, but their gazes were enough.
"It was three years ago. They should get over it already," a voice said.
Yes, they should. Sure, it was a new video, one that had not been leaked before, a completely different view and new actions, but it was still a video from three years ago. It's only creating such a buzz because it was posted moments after the announcement of my casting in 'She Who Lives.'
It must've been thrilling for them, seeing me fall from stardom in such a brutal way with no one to lean on. And now that I had a glimmer of hope, they were desperate to snuff out that light too. I was human too, I was a child too.
It had been three long years, three years of struggling to survive, of trying to claw my way back into a world that had no more space for someone like me. And yet, their eyes were still the same as ever, and so were their whispers.
"Don't mind them," the voice said again and I grunted.
I should've ignored it. I desperately wanted to ignore it, I had more than necessary on my plate and I surely didn't want extra gaps in my memory but no matter where I went, Christopher followed me like that was all he'd been programmed to do.
"You're like a fly I can't swat," I muttered, hoping that he wouldn't hear me. I still needed him to perform his wizardry and make me act well so I couldn't offend him just yet.
"You're beautiful when you're pissed off."
What the…
If he was trying to distract me from everything else that was going on in my life, then it was working. How could he say something like that so blatantly, to someone like me, no less.
We were getting stares but we'd been getting stares since my first day here, since he had refused to let me breathe in my own space. So thankfully, the stares didn't affect me as much.
"You're actually insane," I chuckled.
He shrugged and I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at my lips, for someone I was supposed to be scared of, he sure made it impossible to do so.
"Selene, it's time," the assistant director yelled. I turned to meet her gaze and surely enough, she was giving me the same look as the others, pure disgust.
I sighed, remembering the situation that I was in. The movie had not been aired yet, there was nothing preventing them from discarding me from the movie and going on with a different actress. I needed to do well, so exceptionally well that they wouldn't think of replacing me.
"You're going to kill this scene, you know," he whispered from right behind me.
I let out a small sigh as I tried to smile but I couldn't, I wasn't even the one who was going to do the acting. I felt like such a fraud and at some point, I wondered if acting was worth anything.
Christopher turned me so that I was face to face with him.
He was going to do this? Here? With all these people watching? It was like he wanted to be caught. It was my first scene with him and unlike me, he seemed to be completely in control. He knew what he was doing and I didn't even know what I wanted.
In this moment, I was completely focused on the stranger in front of me, the one I was currently trusting with my whole life, everyone else was in the background. His eyes didn't glow, I didn't see the glow but the next thing I was aware of was me being back in my apartment.
My apartment. I blinked, twice.
Had we filmed the scene already?
"You back?"
He was on my bed, right next to me, watching a movie, one of his movies, on my laptop. I didn't remember any of it.
"Why are you here?"
He raised an eyebrow, as if he was expecting me to know the answer.
"Protecting you," he replied with his attention still on the movie in front of him.
I stared at him. "Did we- did we film the scene already?"
"Weird thing to ask, seeing as you just almost died."
"What?"
He didn't react immediately, paused for a bit then slowly smiled and said, "Just kidding."
But it didn't feel like a joke.
Damn it, I didn't remember anything else that happened after Christopher looked me in the eyes in front of the trailer. I glanced at him, he looked the same, stoic, calm and composed.
Then again, he did have a twisted sense of humor so he could actually be joking. But then it didn't feel like it.
And I knew he wouldn't tell me if I asked so there was no point in doing that.
I couldn't sleep that night, not because he was there, even though that was reason enough, but because Luca wouldn't stop calling. For someone who wouldn't even look my way once when we were filming, he sure was being obsessive behind closed doors. I didn't know how to feel about it, I still wanted to block his number but for some reason, I couldn't.
I sighed, it was a bit after midnight and Christopher had no signs of leaving my place anytime soon. He wasn't particularly saying anything and the silence wasn't awkward but I still felt weird. I stared at the edge of my bed, careful not to look at Christopher's way, just in case.
The movie had ended for a while and my screen was black but he hadn't moved an inch from where he was.
"Are you planning to sleep here?" I asked, just to break the silence.
It was a silly ask, seeing as I couldn't exactly chase him to the streets at midnight.
"No," he said, but he also made no move to leave.
My phone vibrated again against the bed, it was Luca. I should've muted my phone if I didn't want to block his number but I didn't so that either. I didn't know why but it made me feel more at ease knowing that my phone was not on silent mode.
"What happened between you two?" he asked without looking at me.
I wasn't sure if he actually wanted an answer or he was just trying to make small talk. There was still too much I didn't know about him and I wasn't comfortable with him enough to talk about my feelings.
"I don't know," I said and that was the truth. I honestly didn't know exactly what went wrong between us, all I remembered was that he ghosted me after that night, our night.
"What happened that night?"
I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say.
"I know there's more to it than the videos," he continued.
I raised an eyebrow. Why the heck was he so interested in that night? Hell, I wanted answers too, I wanted to know what happened seeing as I only remembered bits and pieces but I wasn't going to let him know that my memory of the night was vague.
"What's it to you?" I turned to him, he was looking at me now. He was staring so intently as if he could unravel everything about me with just his eyes.
"Just trying to help you move on," he shrugged.
It wasn't exactly a secret that I used to have feelings for Luca, everyone knew about it and we would occasionally get shipped together. But why would he think that I still had feelings for him?
Because I was still getting Luca's calls?
My phone buzzed again and this time, Christopher reached for it, staring at the screen.
"You could still block him," he said casually. "If you really wanted to."
I snatched my phone from his hands. "I don't need you telling me what I can or can't do."
He didn't say a word, his eyes slowly left mine and went back to my laptop, he switched it on and started scrolling, probably looking for another movie to watch.
I was suffocating.
His presence was getting too much to bear. I wanted him gone.
"Why are you protecting me? What do you get from it?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.
He turned away from the laptop and looked at me.
"Who- what are you?" I asked, breathing heavily.
He tilted his head, looking at me with that same calculating look in his eyes. There were no emotions visible on his face, he simply stared at me.
"I trusted him, you know," I blurted, my voice was sounding a bit too emotional, too cracked. "I didn't even want to go to the stupid party, I only went because he was there."
I was crying, I hadn't realized it until the tears fell to my cheeks.
"I wanted to be seen by him," I laughed. "And I was seen. God, I was seen. By millions."
He just stared at me.
"I didn't even know he fucking recorded it at first," I wiped my face. "Three years. Three years of trying to get back pieces of who I used to be."
I looked at him, and somehow, his composure seemed to only fuel my anger even more.
"Don't pretend like you're doing this for me. I may not know what you are but you're not my friend."
His expression didn't change. He looked at me carefully, as if I would break if he stared too hard. Then he finally said something.
"I'm not pretending."