For the first time in his lifetime, something in his chest rose and fell. Something very physical and solid. Something that made his heart heavy, something that scared him and enthralled him. For a moment he wished, she could feel it too. How her sudden burst of fondness had filled his chest with a beat of a real heart.
Or perhaps not. As soon as their eyes met, the immense feeling of love was pushed aside but a reluctance just as big. He was ready. If she was going to step away from him, if she was not going to acknowledge it, he would have to savor the moment. Her eyes slipped to his lips and... She looked away. Did she just think about it?
His heart beat again. Hard and fast. the feeling send a shiver down his spine. She turned away. Didn't notice.
"Let us head back," she said.
As they walked, Vance wanted that feeling again. The feeling of his mate's heart calling to him. It drove him forward. Drove him to speak to her, filled him with wants and needs and desires he had never thought he had before. Even the knowledge of his mate bond did not drive him as much that feeling he had momentarily.
He wanted his heart to beat again. No. He wanted her to make his heart beat again.
"Thank you for guiding me there." Vance spoke to her first, much to her surprise. And she couldn't sense any of his usual calm in it. Was she imagining it or was he smiling again? She had the urge to look sideways. If she looked, that would be bad.
Not knowing what to make of it, she answered politely, "thank you too, for cooperating back there."
Tharin called, "who is that?"
"It's us from the council." Ash said. Now that the darkness was back to its usual self, she could see Tharin a little. Tharnin asked, "and the fairy?"
Vance raised his hand, the fairy still stuck there. Ash knew her control over darkness had worked its magic, rendering the fairy sightless for a while but Vance's actions made him curious. She wanted to ask how he could see clearly in it when the likes of Tharin, the dwarf known for their excellent sight in the dark were unable to see much.
As they approached Tharin Vance stiffened, raised his glasses and snapped them back on. His movements were sharp and stiff. Ash asked, "did you glasses get damaged?"
"A... No."
Ash waited but Vance did not say more. After all that, it looked like Vance had receded back into his shell. Though disappointed, Ash told herself that it was better this way.
Vance spoke to Tharin instead, "Master Pebblemason, would you mind going ahead and helping the others restrain our hypnotized friend?"
"I will." And so, Tharin walked faster, took a sharp turn, jumping over something and went running to meet the council members. Within moments, Vance and Ash were alone again. Ash walked faster, thinking of Drew and Bree. But a hand shot out and wrapped around Ash's wrist. Warm shivers ran up her arm. Ash caught the back of her neck, trying not shiver under his unexpected touch.
"We do not have to hurry. Akiye will help Drew with the hypnosis."
Vance's hand fell. And silence followed.
Ash nodded, "perhaps. How they could see in here, I don't understand."
"That don't have to see, they just have to known the the paths they walk, well."
"Is that how you reached the fairy quickly?" she asked.
"No. I could see. I have particularly clear vision. Clearer than I'd wish it was."
Ash did not ask more despite her curiosity. Vance continued, "ask if you are cusious. I do not mind answering."
"I do not want to make it uncomfortable and awkward."
"A..." Vance spoke and paused. Ash found that uncertain sound in his gravely voice, quiet adorable. "Apologies if I come off as cold. It takes time for me to open up to new people."
Ash nodded slowly. "I do not want to impose on your politeness then. Thank you for the help."
"A..." Vance made that uncertain sound again. Ash smiled to herself. "I would like to be friends with you."
Ash stopped all together. Her feet and her heart, before they started working again. "All the members of the council are. You don't have to ask."
"Not like them. I do not wish to be friend like Karn or Sven or Bree. I wish to be better friends with you than them." Vance said.
Both of them had stopped walking, staring straight ahead. Neither of them had the heart to look at each other. Though Vance had asked her for something simple but Ash couldn't help look into the implication and meaning behind it. She could not offer him that friendship. She wanted to but she could not. She was after all, a moderator, from a family of moderators who were supposed to be impartial and neutral. She knew all of that, she knew what was supposed to be and what should be. But Vance's words left her with a distinct feeling that it was how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be with Vance, happy and comfortable and away from the problems of her kingdom. A flash of life panned out in front of her, something far fetched and powerful.
Ash closed her eyes and shook her head. "I do not know what to say."
Vance did not say antyhing either. "Yet. None of them moved."
Ash knew she had to say something. The stalemate between them was getting tighter and tighter. The push and pull was causing her heart to be taunt. "I am from a family of moderators. We are supposed to be neutral and impartial. And I have already lost the later quality. If I accept what you are offering, anything I say in the future looses credibility entirely."
Not to mention, she had, not long ago, declined a proposal from the werewolves. To turn around and accept a vampire was going to hurt her family greatly. She was here to deaccelerate the war, not accelerate it.
"Doesn't your friendship with others affect it?"
Ash finally turned to him. "are you asking for the same kind of friendship I have with them?"
Vance opened his mouth and closed it but did not look away from her. "No."
Ash's heart picked up. It beat so loudly that she was afraid Vance will say something about it. She turned the corner and her foot kicked into something. She stumbled forward. Ash caught herself quickly but did not miss the brush of Vance's hand around her arm. It was gone as soon as it had come. She turned around and kneeled before the fallen object. It looked like a set of teeth, but not the same set, Vots had lost. There was thick mud caking around it. If it was a golem , it had lost it long ago. It was not recent. Or it could be someone else entirely.
When Ash reached for it, the little thing seem to ooze a small amount of energy. She picked ot up and the thing exploded.
Ash felt an arm around her waist and non existant wind cross through her hair at the same time as she threw the thing into the air. The dust around them with a whitish powder flew into the air. Ash used the warmth seeping into her body to extend the protection, the energy around her body to that of Vance.
When Vance put her down, she told him, 'don't let go."
Vance's hand let go of her but Ash put her palm to his arm. Concern, loud and alarming was seeping into her heart in volumes. She palpitated under it. Did she loose her finger? She raised her hand a little but Vance caught it midway and raised under the moonlight turning it over and over. The dust surrounded them. Ash dare not lift her palm, lest the dust be poisonous.
Even as she thought through the matter, the concern in her heart quietened a little and she felt appalled.
Vance turned her hand over and over, finger moving over her palm, movements frantic and fast. "You hand..."
Her hand was fine. Vance looked at her wide eyed. Under the small hole above them washed in the faint moonlight of Vance's eyes were red again. Though the cold look of them was replaced with concern. Concern that was turning into an appaling disbelief. Ash patted his arm. "I am fine. I am resilient."
All that knight training gave him defined muscles that were not apparent under his lean look.
"That is no reason to go around touching everything. Even if you are reliant of curses and infection. It would still hurt if you lost a finger."
Ash opened her mouth, unable to speak. An unease crept into the heart under all the concern, disbelief and relief. An unease that she was feeling none of these thing for Vance. Vance was feeling them for her, so why was her heart and mind filled with the clear ringing of controlled madness.
Guided by these foreign things, she said, "I... I did it very carefully and threw it into the air immediately. I expected it to have something unwanted." Her words came out slow and uncertain. She cleared a throat, "which is why whoever dropped it, dropped it here. It might have been cursed to."
Ash stiffened. Vance was going to yank her, force her to face him. Nothing happened. He couldn't do that. Irritated and helpess, she said quickly, "I wouldn't be reckless with myself. Never. You... um.. do not worry about that. I am not reckless. I will never be reckless."
Vance let go of her wrist and moved a step away but Ash did not. She extended her arm. "stay here until the dust settles. It could be poisonous."
She felt how appalled he was at her then. Yet, when she looked at him, there was nothing of it. Wait. She felt it. She felt how appalled he was. Shaken and unsure of what it was to make of it, she began moving and Vance began moving with her.
"why are we going back?" Vance asked. Ash said, "to pick up those dentures."
And that appalled feeling expanded. She added wuickly, "I have an extra piece of cloth. I will use that to pick it up this time."
She opened her bag and pulled out the extra shirt she carried. Wrapping the dirty dentures in it, she put it back in her bag. Vance said nothing, even calming down as she worked carefully. She felt he was a little curious too. About what, he didn't say and she didn't know.
Then they headed back. Once the white dust was left behind, she let go of him. And the constant wave of feelings, the throbbing concern, the palpable curiosity and the subtle awareness of their contact were all gone, leaving her heart rough and raw. Her heart was hers again. Ash could have sighed them. She pulled her hand in front of her and held them together, hoping the ghost of whatever that was, would wear off soon.
Soon, they could see the light in the tunnel ahead. Vance asked, "I know things have not been the best between us and will not be easy going forward."
Ash couldn't agree more. A small part of her was relieved to know he understood too. "I will keep out of your way until this... whatever this is we have, wanes off."
Vance stopped then. "A.. I don't think that's possible. And... and... I don't want that. Is it really not possible to be friends? Just friends. I will not ask for more."
Ash closed her eyes. She wasn't exactly determined to be against it but the attraction between them was unnatural, electric and intense. She had thought he wanted the same thing as her, keep a polite distance. Now, she wasn't so sure. What had chanced?
If he was determined to take a step towards her, would she be able to take a step back?
"Vance?" Karn called. The two of them started walking again and Ash whispered, "I do not know."
She couldn't accept that hand of friendship until she knew of sure what those pouring feelings were. And she couldn't reject it. She could not bring herself to when Vance had taken the painstaking effort.