My back slammed into the sidewalk's cold concrete.
Sunlight beamed directly into my eyes after the portal above me closed, but it didn't bother me, my 42x Resistance doing me proud. I'd still lose if I looked directly at the Sun for too long, so I made the intelligent decision to look away from it, and towards the oncoming sounds of footsteps.
Two older teenage boys ran at me, concern and shock written on their faces.
"Where the hell did he come from?!" I heard one of them shout to the other, his voice a deep gravel that you wouldn't expect from a teenager; their fashion sense was definitely teenager-appropriate though, in that it was straight ass. Especially the one on the right, with his hair looking like an upside-down boot.
Fuck, I didn't think of how I'd play this. I should have taken the time to prepare myself, but man, I just couldn't resist fucking with Hawks. He was probably so upset, I wish I could see his face right now...
"Is he an escaped prisoner?" The boot-haired one asked his friend. They were loud and obnoxious, more-so than the average teenager. I guess that's how anime delinquents talk, but that didn't matter as much as the fact that his educated guess was spot-on; it wasn't a difficult deduction, considering the reddish-orange jumpsuit. I'm sure the metal device covering my mouth and neck made me look even more dangerous.
But I didn't want them to think I was dangerous, which meant I had to play the victim.
"H-Help me..." I groaned, trying to sit up; I didn't have to fake how hard it was to move, because I was still 90% paralyzed.
"Hey, what happened to you, man? How'd you just appear on the ground? Are you a Stand user?!" Josuke Higashikita bombarded me with questions. I was surprised by how on-edge he was; it made me wonder when the hell I was. I hadn't thought about when to arrive, only that I needed go to Josuke; I suppose I had hoped to arrive at the best moment, too.
Did that have an effect?
Eh, I could think about that later, when it came time to leave this universe. "I-I can't move. They-" I forced out a digitized cough that sounded like a shitty techno sound effect. "They broke my spine." To drive home the point, I grunted as I lifted my head, appearing to strain with effort before my head fell back to the ground with a dull thump and a soft exhale.
"Oi, Josuke, we're in a hurry aren't we?!" Okuyasu reminded. Josuke hesitated, looking from me, the unknown, probable-escapee laying paralyzed on the pavement, to his friend. I noticed both of them were sweating; they had to have already been running, then.
Must be late for school.
Josuke's gaze settled on me, and he narrowed his eyes like he was about to beat the shit out of me, but nothing happened. He stared at me for an eternal four seconds, before he sighed and muttered, "Not a stand user then."
Did he... Did he just try to fake me out with Crazy Diamond?
Without warning, not even feeling Crazy Diamond's fist impacting me as I would have expected, I was able to move again.
I sat up, clenching and unclenching a fist in front of me as Josuke and Okuyasu took off immediately.
"Don't commit any crimes!" Josuke shouted back at me as he ran.
My portal power must have some sort of intuition towards my desires; I couldn't imagine getting healed by Josuke going any better than that. I felt doubt creep in at my initial thought of them being late to school; weren't they delinquents? Did they even care about school? I watched them shrink into the distance, and when they turned the corner, I took off after them at full speed.
I wasn't the flash, but I was more or less twice as fast as a normal person. I think an average adult human can run around twenty miles-per-hour? So, I could run about forty miles-per-hour?
Still didn't know if capabilities, or at least the capability for speed, scaled so linearly, but it felt like it did as I sped to the corner the delinquent-duo turned and stopped. I peaked around the house on the corner and spotted them not too far down the street, their backs to me as they continued running at top speed. It had been a long time since I watched Diamond is Unbreakable, and most of my Part 4 memories involved Kira, because he was my favorite Jojo character, so I struggled to think of where I was in the timeline...
Although, thinking of Kira, and the Josuke-Okuyasu duo, made me recall when they first time they were all on-screen together, right after Kira fought a draw against Koichi and Jotaro.
They weren't there in the beginning, if I remembered right. Did they run there, in the anime?
A shiver of excitement ran down my spine. A fiveway of five powerful stands sounded too good to be true, didn't it? At the very least, it would be the height of foolishness to not take Okuyasu's stand, and thus I tailed the two teens, making sure to keep a safe distance behind. They didn't look behind them, and I doubted they ever would, but I was still careful to keep back and mostly out of sight in case they did.
Only a couple minutes later, I heard Josuke call out, "Koichi! Jotaro!"
I peaked around the corner several seconds later; there, on the street, lay three bloody, unconscious bodies.
Koichi, Jotaro, and Yoshikage Kira himself.
Josuke and Okuyasu ran to their two dying allies, fussing over their bodies. As they did so, I saw Kira's eyes flutter open. Shit, I knew he would to get away here, and Josuke was about to heal Jotaro and Koichi...
It was the time to act.
My feet carried me forward as my hands dug into my cheeks and gripped the top rim of the device Tartarus sought to constrain me with. It was secured tight, reaching from below my nose to under my chin and around my neck; I doubted I could break it without dozens of extra strength capabilities, but I didn't need to break it... I only needed to break me.
Which, to be fair, was a strenuous task given how resistant I was. Luckily, I was just strong enough to make some progress, which naturally gave way to further progress. My skin was stretched farther than normal skin could stretch, and I could feel pain flare in my cheekbones where the metal curved up to find purchase on them. My jaw ached as it was forced down, until it snapped out of the socket. The angle of my teeth bent inwards as I pushed the rim past them, but my gums held firm; the skin on my neck was raw and, if I had to guess, red as a tomato.
I was halfway to Okuyasu, his head turning back to see who was running at him, when I managed to bring the collar down enough to expose my lips to air and sunshine.
My dead sprint abruptly stopped a dozen feet away from Okuyasu's wide-eyed look; Josuke looked over his shoulder, and even Kira looked my way as he lay flat on his back.
"Okuyasu," I intoned, putting on my most serious, non-silly face as I spread my hands wide, palms up. "Do you believe in gravity?"
"Huh?" He questioned, dumbfounded.
A second later, his eyes unfocused as my mind control took hold. I sprinted forward, tempted for a millisecond to just make Okuyasu kill Josuke while I dealt with Kira, but I didn't want to risk him, and by extension Za Hando snapping out of my control.
"You again?!" Josuke shouted, not noticing Okuyasu's odd behavior yet. Probably assumed his friend would defend himself with his overpowered Stand. I hated to crush his expectation, but needs must.
Josuke's eyes widened in shock as I wrapped my hands around Okuyasu's head and twisted it around a full three-hundred sixty degrees. I ignored the gut-wrenching shout of grief as I considered the fastest way to get some Oku-blood. Beggars couldn't be choosers though, so I just dug my fingers into Okuyasu's eye socket and pulled the white orb out, tearing the connective tissue and tossing the eyeball to the side.
I was half an impulsive decision from eating the eye, but a drop of blood was all I needed, so I settled for dipping my fingertip into his vacated eye socket and swiped a spot of blood, then brought it up to my lips.
Warm pleasure rushed through me as I licked my bloody finger, and a thousand capabilities descended upon me. My heart latched onto the juiciest capability Okuyasu had: The capability for a Stand. And then, in an instant, I was back on the street; I let Okuyasu's corpse fall to the ground. Josuke bolted from his position next to Jotaro, running full tilt at me with his fist raised as he yelled. Crazy Diamond materialized behind him, mimicking his posture.
"You can still save him." I spoke. Josuke's eyes darted to Okuyasu's one-eyed, and that was all I wanted as The Hand sprung out from my body, arm in motion as it swiped it's right hand down.
Josuke, unfortunately for him, had put himself well within my range.
The Hand swiped a diagonal line from his shoulder to his hip, erasing the space that Josuke's flesh occupied, but the teen didn't fall into two pieces; instead, what would have been two pieces fused together seamlessly, creating a corpse that was intact, but clearly misshapen and uneven. It fell to the ground with a thump, and I didn't waste time, using my newfound Stand to poke a hole in Josuke's back. I brought the blood-coated finger to my mouth, and sucked on it like it was a phallic object, but it wasn't gay since it was my own Stand.
Pleasure coursed through me, and a thousand capabilities presented themselves to my soul. His capability for a Stand became my own, and then I was back in the street, The Hand's finger in my mouth. I spat it out and looked towards Kira, but my attention snapped back to The Hand as it morphed into... Something else.
It was a fusion of The Hand and Crazy Diamond, with hearts and currency symbols, specifically the Yen and Dollar, littering its body; with most of the symbols being on hearts. Instead of silver and pink, or white and blue, it was equal amounts blue and pink, and it's face had the shape of Crazy Diamond's, but the eyes of The Hand.
Honestly... Pretty cool. I had thought I would end up with two Stands, which would have been nice, but I was happy with a little mashup.
My eyes returned to Kira, who stared at me, his own eyes wide, before a straight look settled on his visage. He rose to his feet as I approached him, his stance messy and unsteady as Killer Queen manifested in front of him.
I stopped before him; if Killer Queen jumped forward, it'd reach me, but not before I would erase it.
"Why aren't you running, Yoshikage Kira?" I asked, my new Stand beside me. Shit, what would I even call it now? The Crazy Diamond? Diamond Hand? No, Crazy Hand, that sounded good.
His eyes narrowed at the mention of his name. "I don't believe I could escape from you. So I will have to kill you." I let out a genuine laugh at his words.
"I don't believe you can do either, but don't worry, I don't want to kill you. No, we're kindred spirits, you and I." I give him a grin. "The Stand I just took from boot-hair over there," I thumb back as Josuke's cooling body, "It can heal you, make you right as rain."
"You want my power in exchange for healing me." He declared, seeing right through me.
Damn, he's one smart cookie. I nodded my confirmation. "I just need a drop of your blood. Then you'll be free to live your peaceful life, yeah?"
His unblinking eyes bored holes into mine, but I inevitably won the staring content, and he was forced to blink. "Heal me first, then I'll give you Killer Queen."
I shook my head. "Nah, that'd be pretty stupid. I'll give you five seconds to choose before I just kill you. Five-"
Sheer Heart Attack sprung from Killer Queen's left hand while Kira turned around and ran for his life, a futile attempt to escape his fate. He screamed, "I won't die here!" as he did so, but he was right.
Earlier, that was--Crazy Hand's crazy hand swiped through space, and the distance between us was ate up.
He couldn't escape from me.
In the blink of an eye, Crazy Hand's fist splattered Kira's brains across the ground. For a split second, his headless corpse just stood there, blood squirting from the stump of his neck, before he fell to his knees, then forward.
Just like that, the legendary serial killer met his end an unsatisfying manner; the ambulance was much better, some kind of cosmic poetry.
"So cowardly." I said to his body. "You act all cool, but then push comes to shove, and you run like a bitch. I mean, I'd do the same in your situation, but still. Coward."
By my will, Crazy Hand presented its bloody hand for me to lick; I did so, and that familiar, delicious euphoria coursed through my body once more. A thousand capabilities appeared before me, and just like the last two times, I chose Kira's capability for a Stand. Then I was back in the street, surrounded by three corpses and two soon-to-be corpses. I gave Crazy Hand's crazy hand another lick, enjoying the taste of brain-blood, then made it move back a bit as it morphed and shifted into a brand new form.
It gained a pink hue to it's body, and it's face became a bit cat-like, especially its eyes, while the crown of its head grew vague suggestions of cat ears. It's hands adopted studded leather gloves, but the Yen symbol remained on the left hand, while the right one had a skull in the shape of a heart. A more normal skull, but with "cat ear" bones appeared on it's heart-shaped belt buckle, it's mouth open to reveal a Dollar sign, with similar skulls on the hearts covering its sternum and knees.
I'm pretty sure it was overall bigger too, its muscles more defined; I wondered for a moment what it would look like if I collected every stand, but that felt a bit too ambitious right then.
I had two other stands to collect, first.
I spun around to find Jotaro standing on his feet, his eyes shadowed by his hat. At that, moment, I remembered that Kira wasn't my favorite character in Jojo; he was my favorite villain.
Jotaro was my favorite Jojo character. I couldn't just kill him, I didn't have it in me.
I let out a sigh as I ran my hand through my hair.
"Don't worry, Jotaro, the universe is going to be reset in--oh, I suppose it'll happen differently now. Hm. Well, I'll let you live. Just know you should kill Enrico Pucci at your earliest convenience, he's a priest in the Florida prison Stone Ocean, or will be eventually, and--"
"Shut up." He said, his voice quiet. His eyes met mine, his face set in stone. "I don't want to hear you speak."
I stared at him, my mouth hung open. Then I chuckled.
Crazy Killer Hand zipped forward in an instant and poked it's finger into Jotaro's stomach. He stumbled back as my Stand returned to me, and I once more suggestively wrapped my lips around it's extended digit.
Again, not gay, and again, bliss surged throughout my corporeal being. A thousand capabilities, and I chose the same one for the fourth time in a row; Jotaro's capability for a Stand became my own, and then I was back in the street.
Crazy Killer Platinum Hand took a moment to morph into its new form, gaining a mane of black hair and a less cylindrical head, plus wider shoulder guards and elbow pads that had the same heart-shaped skull with a Dollar sign that its belt buckle had, although one elbow had a Dollar in its skull's mouth, and the other had the Yen sign.
After taking in its beautiful form, I made it punch Jotaro, but not violently; quite the opposite, as the wound in his stomach healed the instant my Stand's fist made contact.
He clutched his stomach as I walked over to Koichi, probably processing the sudden pain, then lack of pain. Maybe. I'm not sure how pain works for normal people anymore; I rarely experienced pain as a normal human, and now, I've been able to resist all the pain I've felt. Including the pain I still felt from dragged the metal mouth-collar down my head and neck...
"No!" He shouted as I reached the injured, dying teen.
"Don't worry, Koichi's a reliable guy; I'll heal him. In a second." I bent down and dragged my fingers through the pool of blood leaking from Koichi, then brought them up to my mouth, shoving all my fingers inside.
Pleasure fueled me for an instant, then a thousand capabilities descended upon me once more.
For the fifth time, I stole the capability for a Stand.
Then I was back on the street, three corpses around me, a dying teen before me, four fingers in my mouth; I pulled them out and wiped them on my jumpsuit.
Crazy Killer Platinum Hand shifted to become Crazy Killer Platinum Hand Echoes Act 3--
You know what, let's just call it, I don't know, CHEAP-K3? Yeah, that'll work for now.
It grew a white loincloth with a green "3" on its front, and a splattering of green... Whatever the fuck Echoes Act 3 had... Across its arms and legs, plus a vertical strip of them going from where its nose would be, upwards to crest over the top of its head, then downwards all the way to the back of its neck. Overall, it's colors lost some saturation, except the green, to become a more subdued pink and blue, with purple running down its front.
CHEAP-K3 punched Koichi, and a second later he sprung upright, breathing hard as he looked around, his eyes wide and panicked.
"Huh, that seemed a bit different..." I mumbled, causing Koichi to look at me; he screamed at the sight of me and scrambled away in an attempt to put as much distance between us as possible. I smiled at him, which seemed to unnerve him more as his breathing quickened.
I glanced at Jotaro, who was watching Josuke's unmoving corpse with utmost gloominess.
For a second I wondered, looking at CHEAP-K3, if its healing power was boosted from all the extra stand-capabilities, and if that was enough to revive Josuke; it'd only been a few minutes, after all. He should still have some brain cells left, more than Okuyasu at least. Not that Okuyasu had too many to begin with...
Then I stopped wondering; my stand punched his face. Just because I felt generous, I had CHEAP-K3 punch Okuyasu's face too.
Several seconds passed as I watched them for any sign of life; Okuyasu's head twitched, then spun around in a full circle, snapping into place at a healthier angle. Josuke's incorrect torso grew into something much better looking. Another second passed, then I heard Josuke suck in a breath of oxygen. Okuyasu followed a couple seconds later.
I started clapping my hands maniacally, laughing as I did so. "Ha! Aha! Ahahaha! I have created life! I am God!"
I turned and pointed at Jotaro.
"You doubted me, your god! Kowtow before me one-thousand times and I will spare your nine generations!"