Mother Mad had been educated.
Qin Guan knew this naturally.
From the time he could remember, he often heard refined, bookish phrases from Mother Mad's lips: things like "break free from conventions," "shine with brilliance," "toil day and night"...
More often, it was lines of poetry.
"The moon climbed the willow's crest, we met as dusk was laid to rest..."
"This very day last year, within this door, her face and peach blossoms mirrored wore..."
"If you ask me how much my sorrow has increased, just see the overbrimming river flowing east!"...
Every time she murmured like this, Father Drunkard would hurl something violently at her.
"Shut the hell up! Yap yap yap, yap yap yap! Keep yapping like that and I'll beat you to death! Useless waste! I must have been blind, cursed for eight lifetimes to drag a useless waste like you back here to feed! I give you food and drink, and still you yap yap yap! Books, books! What goddamn use is all that book learning you did?!"
Mother Mad had studied, and studied a great deal.
But Qin Guan had never seen a single book in their home.
From the villagers' sneering remarks, the teacher's accounts, and stories passed on by Mother Mad's distant relatives, Qin Guan pieced together her story.
She wasn't from this city. Her hometown was about three or four hours away by car, a county town. Her family was decently well-off, and she was the only daughter – pretty, good grades, obedient and well-behaved.
Heard that during high school, she'd even published articles in the local newspaper – the teacher once dug out one of them to show Qin Guan, praising him that his writing talent and flair would one day surpass hers.
Yes, Qin Guan had once read Mother Mad's words.
But he had never met the intelligent, spirited woman those words suggested.
After the college entrance exam, her unbalanced subjects meant she didn't get into her ideal university. Her parents wanted her to repeat the year and try again. She refused. She wanted to settle for a decent university, to escape the grind of high school life sooner. After numerous arguments, she seemed to submit to her parents' plan and agreed to repeat the year.
All the paperwork was done. Then, on the eve of the new term, she suddenly vanished.
Her family reported her missing. They searched everywhere but couldn't find her.
Until four years later, on a late autumn afternoon, she reappeared in her hometown town – dressed in rags, haggard, exhausted, her face etched with weariness. Only then did everyone learn what happened. That summer years ago, she'd stolen some money, taken a bus, and traveled over a thousand kilometers to meet a pen pal.
This pen pal, whom she'd met through publishing short pieces in the newspaper, exchanged letters with for two years – this seemingly kindred spirit, this eloquent, self-styled "poet" – was actually a drifter who hadn't even finished junior high.
To put it bluntly, a con man.
He tricked her. He raped her the very day they met. Then he trafficked her over eight hundred kilometers away, deep into the mountains, and sold her to a bachelor in his forties.
She was imprisoned, beaten, raped, abused. She fell ill, attempted suicide, miscarried...
More than once.
But these experiences of hers became juicy gossip for the village busybodies.
"Hey, Qin Guan, have you seen the scars on your mom's body? Heard they were from that man earlier, heard he was really twisted, gave your mom so many scars. Have you seen them?"
"Oh, poor Qin Guan, such a hard life. If your mom hadn't lost that first baby, you'd have an older brother or sister. If you had an older sibling, you'd be living the good life, Qin Guan..."
Qin Guan hated hearing these things. No matter what pretext the speaker used, he felt intense disgust. Every time, he pretended not to hear, walking straight ahead through the thick net of rumors.
Of course, he had seen the scars on Mother Mad's body.
But he felt little.
Those scars were ugly, shameful, just like her experiences – Qin Guan could never understand her experiences, let alone empathize with them.
They brought him only endless mockery and shame.
A good life, a bright future, a decent home – she threw it all away herself. Whose fault was that?
Her own! If she hadn't acted so foolishly back then, he, Qin Guan, wouldn't be suffering in this godforsaken place today, would he?
Of course, as a young child, Qin Guan didn't understand that his own body held the DNA of both parents.
He despised Father Drunkard, but he hated Mother Mad even more – what lunatic runs off to meet a pen pal? Tricked for four years before finally finding a chance to escape back. But when she returned home, battered and scarred, everything was gone.
The home was gone.
After she vanished, her parents searched everywhere to no avail. The blow was too much. One night, her sick mother, in a daze, forgot to turn off the gas. The house caught fire and burned down. Her mother died. Her severely injured father woke up in the hospital, silently pulled out his IV drip, and in despair, jumped from the rooftop.
When she finally returned, her home was gone, and her family was gone.
There were relatives, but none were willing to take in this mentally disturbed woman.
She gradually went mad.
She stayed in shelters for periods. On medication, she was a bit better; off it, she'd wander off. She escaped one shelter, headed west aimlessly. She met kind people who gave her food and clothes. She met bad people – men who assaulted her. She got pregnant again. Then she was found, taken by another shelter for an abortion. After a while, she'd escape again...
Later on, Father Drunkard came across her – Father Drunkard back then was dirt poor, with a violent temper. No woman would marry him.
Naturally, he didn't let her go.
He assaulted her once, twice, three times. To coax her, he gave her steamed buns, even plucked a small yellow wildflower and gave it to her – perhaps because of that little flower, as if guided by some force, she followed him. No one could persuade her otherwise. She followed him all the way back to his home.
Soon, she was pregnant again.
He looked at this madwoman with her delicate features, hesitated for a moment, then finally nodded. He took her home, and they began living as husband and wife.
Qin Guan couldn't go to school. He felt he had fallen into a bottomless pit.
Pain, fear, confusion – the little boy wore a worried frown every day.
But Father Drunkard was adamant. Mother Mad understood nothing, only leaning over to stroke his head with her dirty hands, mumbling incoherently, "Good baby... good baby..."
Qin Guan was sick of it.
Not going to school meant he had to serve these two all day long. His whole life would be trapped here, unable to live properly, unable to die easily.
Fortunately, the teacher didn't give up on him – the teacher came to their home several times. After repeatedly hitting a brick wall, he came up with a solution.
"Your family situation needs outside help. I've contacted a kind-hearted person for you. If they're willing to lend a hand, you still have hope of returning to school."
A spark of hope ignited in Qin Guan's despairing heart.
He stood by the door day after day, gazing eagerly down the mountain path, hoping to catch sight of that benevolent person.
That day, after feeding the chickens, he was staring down the path as usual. He turned his head and saw Mother Mad standing in the doorway.
There was something different in her usually crazed eyes.
In her hands, she held one of Qin Guan's short tops – the very top Qin Guan had been wearing when he hacked that old dog to death.
Bloodstains were on the top. Qin Guan had never been able to wash them clean.