Chapter 16
Freydis
When I woke up from sleep, I felt light. The headache was gone, and the muscle pain had disappeared. I felt a strong arm pressing against my lower thighs. My breathing hitched as I turned around to meet Ragnar's face. He was sleeping next to me on the bed, with a book pressed to his chest. The pages were open, and I stared at the title: History of the Gods.
My eyes trailed back to his face and mouth. A soft feeling bloomed in my chest, urging me to touch his face and feel his skin.
I took the book from his chest, he must have fallen asleep while reading. The book was huge, its covers worn.
There was a drawing of a wild wolf. Each line of the hound was sketched in black ink. It looked wild and monstrous, with eyes the color of blood. At the side was a text about the hound.
Feeling a little intrusive, I closed the book and placed it on the table before turning back to Ragnar. This time, I couldn't hold myself back as I trailed my fingers along his face.
My heart was hammering in my chest, afraid that he'd wake up and rebuke me. My breathing hitched again as I trailed my fingers down his neck to his chest. I looked at his face, staring at his thin lips. They curved perfectly and suited his face.
The longing coiled inside me until I couldn't resist the feeling anymore. There was only one thing on my mind: to kiss his lips. I leaned forward and kissed him.
It was a small peck, but the moment my lips touched his, I felt ashamed and pulled away. This wasn't right. But a voice whispered at the back of my mind: Friends are allowed to touch each other.
My breathing hitched, and I shook my head. I was about to stand and leave the room when a hand grabbed me. He dragged me down, and within seconds, he was lying on top of me, kissing me.
Oh Lord!
He was kissing me.
His knee was between my thighs, and his hands were on my body as he sucked my lips. He was kissing and touching me in ways far too intimate. He moved fast, as if he'd been waiting for this moment, and I couldn't keep up.
Slowly, he pulled away, and I was breathless. He leaned his forehead against mine, breathing slowly.
"Forgive me... forgive me... By the gods, I can't seem to control myself around ye."
He didn't give me a chance to respond before his lips were on mine again. He sucked my lips so hard I could feel them bleeding. I had never been kissed like this before. I might have had my first kiss when I was fifteen summers, but it was nothing like this.
My breathing came in ragged, and he kissed me deeply, his fingers digging into my skin.
Oh God!This is not right!
What if someone walked in on us like this?
He pulled away and wrapped me in his arms. A small sob escaped my lips, and it felt like I was crying. Tears wet my cheeks.
This wasn't right. As much as I wanted Ragnar, this wouldn't work, because I had a ring on my finger. Soon, I'd be married. And even if I weren't, the King and Queen would never allow this to happen.
Lagertha would spit in my face if I told her, and Harald would rebuke me. I could already imagine their faces.
"Freydis," he murmured, pulling back and staring at me. My lips felt raw and swollen, my lashes stained with tears.
"I'm sorry," I told him. "I don't know... there's just a lot. This isn't right."
"Did I hurt ye?"
"Nay," I shook my head, staring into his black eyes. "Nay."
I breathed in and out slowly, and Ragnar looked away. The bowls of soup were still on the table, empty with crumbs of bread scattered around.
The horns were knocked over, lying on top of each other. Everything was a mess.
"Best I take ye to your room," he said. "Feels like I'm in a dream."
He drawled toward me. "I'm sorry... for what happened..."
"No, don't be sorry," I said, sitting up. "I was just scared we'd get caught."
"The door is locked," he smiled.
I wanted to tell him we should avoid each other for a while, but the words caught in my throat like a lump.
Then he moved closer, trying to kiss me again, and I frowned, pulling away.
"I can't," I told him, standing up.
I ran my fingers through my hair, walked toward the door, and left the room.