After I finished explaining the madness of my old world, I stayed sitting by the water with Livia, the air cool and peaceful around us.
The tension that had been knotted up inside me for the last few days had now finally loosened. Finding something to talk about in such great detail really took my mind off my current situation.
I looked at her sideways and smirked. "You know how I always talk about weird stuff? Novels, tropes, and stories, and I always act like this world is one?
She nodded slowly. "I just assumed it was your way of seeing things."
"Well, it is," I said, stretching my arms behind me, "but it's also kind of… an inside joke."
Livia raised an eyebrow, waiting for the punch line.
I grinned. "You see… the literary field in my old world was massive. Like, entire buildings filled with books, dwarfing anything I've seen here. There were books about magic, politics, forbidden love, reincarnations, and tragic/happy endings."
As I kept talking about stories I've read in my past life, I got excited.
"So when I came here," I went on, waving a hand towards the garden. "I realized the level of writing here is… well… a little behind. Let's just say I've had a hard time taking any of it seriously.
I paused for effect. "Noah took me to a play early on in our relationship, trying to impress me with the number one show currently playing at the time. It was… so bad!"
Livia grinned, probably because of my over animated reaction. "What was it about?"
"Some tragic noble love story," I groaned. "Overly dramatic deaths, monologues that led nowhere, with characters making decisions so stupid I wanted to climb on stage and slap them."
"That bad," Livia's lips twitched with a look of intrigue.
"He told me it was the best! Granted, even in my old life I was never a fan of plays; I always found them quite boring."
I placed a hand over my heart in mock anguish. "I was genuinely flabbergasted by how awful it was. If I had the time and motivation to write a book, I'm pretty sure I could come up with a better story in a few weeks, one that would blow people's minds around here."
Livia smiled. "Why don't you just do it?"
"Well… I did write a few things in my past life. Some short stories and chapters for different ideas I could never finish. Maybe that's why I see the world the way I do. Because deep down, I've always loved stories and now I find myself living in something that feels a lot like a plot I've once read."
I gave a small shrug.
"In a weird way, it's like… I'm the heroine of my own messed-up fantasy novel. The tragic back-story, surprise romance, unexpected pregnancy, impossible powers, and secrets…"
I chuckled softly. "Honestly, if I read this plot in a bookstore back home, I'd probably call it unrealistic and dramatic."
Livia and Noah have this tendency to simply let me talk. They usually stay quiet until there's a pause, only speaking once I've finished my monologue about whatever happened to cross my mind.
"But… here I am, living it!"
Just as I was halfway through another long-winded story that Livia honestly seemed to enjoy listening to. About how the plot of my life would be an instant hit back on Earth, someone approached from across the garden.
I turned, and the second I saw the butler holding a sealed letter with Noah's personal crest, my heart nearly stopped.
"It's from the Archduke, Your Grace," he said with care.
I snatched it from his hand like a starving woman reaching for bread. My fingers trembled as I broke the seal, the parchment tearing beneath my grip as if it couldn't open fast enough to give me what I needed.
Then I saw his handwriting; that alone made my throat tighten.
The letter read…
***
My beloved Seraphina,
We're still on the road, traveling slowly due to the snow and sheer number of scouts required to monitor the monster migration patterns. We've yet to reach the worst of it, but everyone's alert. I've kept your words in my heart with every step.
I miss you.
It feels like there's a hole in my chest. Like I left part of myself behind when I walked out that door. The nights are cold and long without you. I dream of seeing your face every time I close my eyes.
I'll try to finish this as quickly as possible so I can return sooner, I promise.
Always yours,
Noah
***
I stared at the page for a moment, eyes misty, heart full… But I still blurted out, "Idiot!"
Livia raised an eyebrow beside me.
"Don't you dare get yourself killed trying to be too fast," I muttered under my breath, "you reckless, sweet, sword-wielding idiot."
Then I noticed the butler was still standing there, holding another folded, glowing parchment. One of those special space-linked pages Noah had enchanted for us to communicate in such instances.
"I should write a response," I declared.
He nodded and handed it over with a respectful bow.
Sitting upright, pen in hand, I knew this letter wouldn't be some formal message from a noblewoman. It would be from me to him, a piece of my heart reaching across the distance.
So I wrote…
***
I hate that you're gone. It took me a few days to even get out of bed; I was so broken. It felt like someone took all the air out of my world. I cried into your pillow for hours, and poor Livia probably thought I'd never smile again.
But today, I feel a bit better.
Livia is now the second person to know my deepest secret, you know the one. She made these funny faces the whole time I was explaining it. You'd laugh if you saw it. Getting that off my chest to Livia created an atmosphere where I could talk about my old world, taking my mind away from current events.
I still miss you so much, Noah. These damn emotions are so bothersome, even though I can't help but accept them. My hands are so cold right now, Noah. I guess since you're not here, I will have to hold Livia's for a while, hehe.
From your letter, I know you're out there being brave, strong, and incredible. Just don't be reckless. Don't get yourself killed trying to return faster. I would rather wait a little longer to have you come back safe than see you rush only to end up badly hurt.
If something really does happen to you out there, I swear I'll find a way to bring you back just so I can yell at you. Then I'll cry while hitting your chest, never allowing you to leave my side again.
Love you,
Sera
***
I pressed the page to my chest before giving a nod to the butler.
Then I called out his name while folding it, "Noah."
Just like that, it burst into sparkling lights. I turned to the butler, who was still standing there. "That will be all. Make sure to bring me any letter he sends immediately."
He gave a nod before turning and leaving.
I sat back with a long exhale after the letter went off into space to find its rightful recipient. My fingers still tingled from how hard I'd been gripping the pen, and my heart finally steadied after I got to reply.
Glancing up at Livia, she was studying me with her gaze locked on mine.
Her expression was unusually curious, thoughtful, even. Like something was on the tip of her tongue, but she was holding it back.
"Just ask," I said, annoyed she wouldn't just say whatever she was thinking. "If you're that curious about something, Livia, just say it. I've already told you my deepest secret. What's there to hold back about now?"
She gave a smirk. "You said, 'Idiot'?"
I blinked. "Yes, because he is one."
She looked at me with some confusion but at the same time was amused by my response. "Not what I was expecting to hear after you cried for three days after he left."
"Oh, don't get me wrong," I said, waving a hand. "He's the love of my life, father of my unborn daughter, and the reason I get out of bed most mornings, but he's still an idiot."
Livia crossed her arms, "How so?"
I rolled my eyes. "His letter was all about getting back to me as fast as possible. Sure, I appreciate the sentiment, but honestly… come on."
"So…," Livia comments with a nonchalant attitude.
"So…" I leaned forward, voice firm. "That means he's probably pushing himself too hard, trying to move faster than he should. He's likely taking risks just to save time and putting himself in even more danger."
My eyes narrowed.
"I told him in my letter that if he dies doing something reckless, I'll find a way to bring him back to life… just to yell at him for being such an idiot!"
Livia showed a surprised expression for a few seconds before she burst into laughter. Not a quiet, humble one she usually used for most occasions. But… an actual belly laugh—that caught me off guard.
"That's… dramatic," she said, still trying to calm herself.
"It's accurate," I replied. "What I know about Noah, he probably smiled when he read that, knowing my personality."
"I don't doubt that." Livia had already returned to her usual calm, stoic self.
We sat in silence for a while, simply taking in the atmosphere of the archduchy's beautiful garden. Every feature he had added to the one in the southern capital was mirrored here in Coldmere.
"He really means so much to you; I can't help but feel a bit envious sometimes." Livia commented offhandedly, surprising me with such a comment.
I nodded. "Yeah… he really does."
Reaching across the table, I laid my hand gently over hers. As usual, her expression tightened at first, but then she began to relax.
"I truly hope you find your own Noah someday," I said softly, my thumb brushing over her knuckles. "Because it really is the best feeling, knowing someone sees you not for your role or status, but simply for who you are."
I gave her the biggest smile. "I'm rooting for you!"
For a moment, Livia just stared at me, like I had dropped some kind of truth bomb on her. Though honestly, I don't think it fully sank in. She still never talks about being attracted to men. Even when she walks in and catches a glimpse of Noah's bare chest, there's no reaction whatsoever.
Then she looked down at our hands and said, "I do want it."
My thoughts drifted as I recalled the only times Livia ever showed genuine embarrassment. It happened the first few times she saw my body. She was the one who convinced me to let her help with bathing, too. Could she be into girls?
In this instance I'm going to play the naïve female lead because I don't really know what to do with her if that's true. It could also be me just thinking way too outside of the box. Oh well… something for future Seraphina to handle.
"I don't know what I want when it comes to love," Livia commented as she kept her gaze down on my hand covering hers. "Most men in this world are all about themselves and taking advantage of whatever they can to get ahead. I don't want to be used for those purposes without receiving any kind of affection in return."
She trailed off, shaking her head.
"I don't want to be someone's ornament."
I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "Exactly."
Livia looked at me, startled by how quickly I agreed.
"Men are pretty much playing chess with women and it's really pathetic. Generally a woman can only move when her piece does, and without guidance from her man, she can't really do anything. What a stupid way to live."
That's the way nobles have done it in this world for as long as history has been recorded. It's an illogical way to live and something I plan to abolish in the future.
She let out a soft breath that seemed to be a huff.
"Don't get me started on things like this. I could go on forever," I said, rolling my eyes. "Take those three misguided girls from before. They're the result of parents treating their daughters like property instead of people. Groomed to be a product for whoever offers the highest price or the most reputation to elevate the family's status."
"They had no idea who you even were," Livia muttered, clearly annoyed. "It's like they lived in bubbles and their parents only told them what they needed to know, not what's actually going on."
If a relationship begins as a business transaction, can it ever truly be good for either person? The woman might sit at home wondering what she's doing wrong to gain her husband's attention, while the man is likely out partying, attracting more women who are chasing the same thing as everyone else: status.
"You deserve someone who can see past the uniform," I said. "Someone who knows you're more than the elegant little shadow trailing behind me."
Livia's cheeks tinged the slightest bit pink.
I leaned back in my seat, smug.
"Trust me; if someone ever does catch your interest, you come to me first. I'll help you reel them in!"
She shook her head, but I didn't miss the smile she was trying to hide and the laugh under her breath.