Arin Valkar woke up to the gentle caress of pain. Specifically, the pain of having rolled off his straw mattress in the middle of the night and slamming his face into a wooden bucket.
A perfect start.
He peeled himself off the floor with a groan that sounded like a dying walrus.
> [Damage Detected: +1 XP]
[Bone-Iron Constitution – Level 3 (2001 / 3000)]
He chuckled.
"That's right. Even gravity is my cultivation partner."
He stretched, joints popping like firecrackers.
Then the system dinged again.
> [New Mission Available!]
Mission: Enlightenment Through Humiliation
Objective: Publicly embarrass yourself and still walk away smiling.
Reward: +100 XP | +1 Charisma (masochistic variant)
Penalty: You get a fan club. (Made up entirely of dangerous women. No refunds.)
"…I swear, this system's trying to make me the protagonist of a cursed romantic comedy."
He squinted at the sun.
"Time to get publicly humiliated. Again."
---
Training Grounds — Morning
The Saint Morrow Sect's training field buzzed with morning energy—disciples sparring, elders meditating, and one guy in a corner challenging a training dummy to a duel.
And in the middle of it all, Arin Valkar stood on a rock.
"Fellow cultivators!" he bellowed. "Today, I challenge fate, fashion, and fragile masculinity!"
Everyone paused.
"What's he doing now?" someone whispered.
"Isn't that the masochist we're not supposed to make eye contact with?"
Arin pointed to the heavens dramatically. "I seek a partner! A rival! A soulmate who punches harder than heartbreak!"
"Shut up, Arin," someone groaned.
"I will not shut up until my ribs are cracked and my soul is upgraded!"
A mop was thrown at him. It missed.
"Come on!" he shouted. "Hit me like your cultivation depends on it!"
"Get off the damn rock!"
"No. I ascend from this rock!"
---
Meanwhile… Mira Soeyri
Mira Soeyri watched from the shadows behind a pavilion, her gaze locked on the lunatic radiating main-character energy like a broken lighthouse.
He was shirtless again.
His robe tied around his waist like some kind of masochist messiah.
"What is wrong with you…" she whispered, half in awe, half in resignation.
She took out her scroll.
> SURVEILLANCE LOG — Entry #7:
Subject continues ritualized self-endangerment.
Social status remains 'sect clown.'
Danger level: High (not because of power, but because of his refusal to die.)
Mira lowered the scroll.
Then blinked.
Arin was currently challenging a wild boar.
And losing.
"That's it," she muttered, walking toward him.
---
Two Minutes Later
Arin was lying flat on the ground, hoof marks on his chest, smiling like a man who just kissed a goddess.
> [Bone-Iron Constitution – Level 3 (2050 / 3000)]
[Bonus Trait Unlocked: Idiot's Endurance]
Effect: +1% HP regen per hour while unconscious. Doesn't stack with common sense.
"Why do you look proud?" Mira asked, standing over him.
He opened one eye. "Because I let the pig win."
"That was a wild boar."
"I know. We had a moment."
She sighed, pulling him up by the collar. "At this point, I'm not even sure if you're alive or a hallucination made by the sect's spiritual stress."
"I'm very real," he coughed, "and also slightly aroused."
She dropped him back onto the ground.
---
Later That Day — Disciplinary Hall
Arin sat in front of the sect disciplinary elder, wrapped in bandages like a tragic mummy, sipping tea through a straw.
"You have thirty-seven informal complaints filed against you this week," the elder said. "Mostly for screaming, property damage, and inciting animal fights."
"In my defense, the boar started it."
"You challenged it."
"I challenge many things. Gravity. Pain. My own common sense."
The elder rubbed his temples. "Why are you like this?"
"Because the system—uh, the spiritual path demands it!"
The elder gave him a long, suspicious stare.
"You've either lost your mind…"
Arin grinned. "Or I've found my destiny."
---
System Notification
> [Hidden Mission Progress: Masochist Ascension Path — Stage 1 Complete!]
Title Upgrade Available: "Spiritual Sadboi Supreme" → "The Pain Prophet"
Bonus Skill: Mockery Aura (Lv.1)
Effect: Enemies within 5 meters are 10% more likely to attack you… emotionally.
---
As he walked out of the hall, Mira stepped beside him.
"You're insane," she said without looking at him.
He smirked. "You're still watching."
"Only because if you do die, I want to be there to explain it wasn't my fault."
"Admit it," he said. "You're intrigued."
She glanced at him.
Then muttered just loud enough for him to hear:
"You're lucky your dumb smile is kinda cute."
He froze.
System pinged.
> [Emotional Damage Taken: +2 XP]
[Achievement Unlocked: Flirted With By Ice Queen]
Buff Applied: +5% Motivation for next 12 hours.
He grinned through the blush and the bruises.
"That's my Arin Valkar," he whispered to himself, "The GOAT of enlightenment-through-embarrassment."