Chapter 10 "Alarm Glocke" – Warning Bells
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Excerpt from Chapter 9:
"He sat in his bed, legs crossed, eyes shut and tried to silence everything. The room, the world, himself. For a long time, there was nothing, yet understanding that the mind arts required patience he kept his calm. For now, time was his ally.
Then he felt it. Upon slowly opening his eyes, he discovered that he wasn't in his room anymore."
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In front of him floated a silvery surface. Formless yet solid. He stared at the glass plane. The shimmer of himself stared back, half a breath behind.
It was then that he noticed himself not standing on any ground. He lifted his right arm to look at his hand, yet despite being able to count all fingers at the end of his limb the edges of his own body seemed… distorted. Not quite right, almost blurry. Each movement felt like he was forcing his body through the tough mud. Sluggish, yet bearable.
And yet again, his counterpart moved to imitate his gesture, albeit with delay.
Leon felt secure enough inside of his own mind to speak aloud " This has got to be one of the weirdest things I have ever experienced. Coming from a guy who traveled to the Early Modern Ages."
As he cast his gaze around, he seemed to be standing in a sky filled with stars. Total darkness, aside from the silvery glass and the millions of stars, each so far away that he could only see them twinkle. Despite that, they felt closer to him, almost like he could reach out and pluck a star from the sky…
Floating in zero Gravity was odd, but his massless form made it irrelevant. His positioning stayed perfectly aligned with what he boldly declared his…
"…inner Mirror. It must be right? What else is inside me, if not for my mind, maybe even my soul. That it looks like a shiny pane of glass should hardly be surprising considering these last few months. What is very weird however is my twin here."
He stared deeply at his copy. It just kept silent, staring lifelessly back at him but never ceased to replicate his movements. His arm raised and head tilted towards the sky, until he looked back down. Every move was echoed back at him. Just slightly after he himself did it.
'Like a heartbeats delay'
"Inner Mirror is a decent term for my mindscape. I can't place my finger on it, but I just KNOW it to be my mind. It was my intent to come here, but I feel it without a doubt. This is me. The is my territory. My way to visualize self-awareness. If only my twin didn't give me the uncanny valley effect with input delay, yuck." He verbally pocked at his image.
Magic operates under different rules he quickly found out on his journey thus far. Sometimes logical, other times anything but. Some rules are absolute. Others are subject to change. It was with this foundation that he took many liberties when it came to experimenting. Twisting logic to his needs and forcing it to be true.
Unable to move from the spot, he maintained his distance of a few feet from the floating puddle of beautiful magnificence.
"Your shine. It's so pure, quite like unicorn blood. My own Mirror lacks deceit, for it is an honest reflection of myself and who I've become. But… something feels off. A reflection copies you, instantly. Yet you lag. You hesitate. You… delay.
If you're more than a mirror, what are you?
Hmmm what about "Doppelgänger"? - yes, I like that. Something separate but still me."
He hovered in silence, drifting in the dark space of stars and silver. His plan clear but form blurry.
His reflection before him, always a moment too late, always just out of sync. He lifted his hand again, slower this time, watching the echo follow like a hesitant memory.
'Even here... even in my own mind, I'm delayed.'
It hit him unexpectedly, like a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The all-encompassing silence of solitude.
He lived surrounded by people, children, clergy, tradition. But they didn't see this. Couldn't. Wouldn't. What would happen if they did?
He spoke to himself because no one else could listen. Hid his thoughts because sharing was dangerous. Every day, he played pretend. Quiet, obedient, normal. Just like any other Orphan one would come across. He has acted for so long that he has become the character he tried to portray.
Nobody told you how boring being by yourself truly is. He forcefully obsesses about magic. His behavior is clearly unhealthy, like an addict he pushes all boundaries to get his next rush. With just the right amount of paranoia and ignorance.
But here, in this mirrored nowhere, he couldn't pretend. There was only him. And even he was late.
'What kind of person has to lie to stay alive?'
The stars blinked back at him. Indifferent and infinitely distant.
He wondered quietly if this reflection was all that would ever truly know him. A perfect echo, bound by silence and delay.
Maybe that was the saddest part.
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For a moment, nothing happened. Leonhard floated in utter silence, facing silver surface in the middle of a starry night sky. Far away, in the middle of nowhere. All alone.
Until the unnatural and perfectly flat pane seemed to ripple. Comparable to the first of water foretelling a storm. Only noticeable if you happened to stand right underneath it.
However miniscule the sight might have been, to Leonhard it meant the world. He hadn't told the mirror to ripple, it simply did. Something heard his cry for help and answered.
He had learned that magic didn't always require his own actions to manifest, so he took it in stride.
The ripple gave him a clear sensation. He knew it intimately from touching upon the emotions of all strangers he had practiced his own brand of Legilimency on. Like that moment when the water in a shower becomes just warm enough to move your head underneath it. Leonhard understood the feeling for what it was, an offer for help. From himself to himself. The only being he could trust his everything to. His own reflection.
"So, thanks… if you've seen it all inside of there, you know how hard it has been. There are moments I am not certain for how much longer I can continue. I tried to force myself to forget, but its hard… I think a lot about my family… us spending time together, eating and laughing and joking and and and…." He struggled as his throat tightened.
Leonhard urged his tears to not come out, but even he recognized a battle lost. With wet eyes he continued:
"I know dwelling on the past isn't healthy, but what else can I do? My way of life is over! Everyone and everything I ever loved is dead! Gone! Never to be seen again! Even now I can see them smiling when I close my eyes or hear their laughter when I enjoy but a moment of silence. And not only that! I forced myself to not think about it. About the before and god do I hate calling it that!
And just when everything seems to be ok, on Christmas of all days I find out that the friendliest old man in the world seeks my destruction! If he knew, it's all over, just like that… I am a single mistake away from being burned at the stake… The soup was a close call, but what if I do something again, this time more visible? People have died at witch trials for less-"
As if sensing his emotions the mirror rippled again and interrupted his thoughts. This time, a feeling from the past came over him. It felt like two people hugging him. His mother and his father.
Tears, unending tears poured out of him this time.
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That moment of freely speaking his thoughts, which he kept to himself, was of more importance than Leonhard had known. It was bubbling beneath the surface for quite a while. Finding release, in whatever form was more therapeutic than any of satisfaction he gained in his new life.
And this new life was what he needed to focus on. The past may guide him like a hand on his shoulder, but the way forward he must pave by himself.
Obstacles and failures aren't eternal; they are but a bump on the road.
Fighting the resistance, he raised his hand to wipe away his tears.
"Thank you, Buddy I needed that,… I guess having a shoulder to cry on is something good… not that I thought it would ever need it." He proclaimed with a good amount of finality.
'Although I can't deny that it acting on its own is suspicious, I am in my own mind. I am the master here, right? Right.
My moping time has come to an end. Take in the facts, plan for the future.'
Leonhard tilted his head and reconsidered the autonomous behavior the mirror with his copy across from him displayed. It took independent action, quite like in the incident a few months ago. But this time instead of him asking and getting a reaction, it was proactive and chose to help him. On its own.
"Or should I say on "his" own? Ugh genders are hard, whatever. You do you my Doppelgänger, I don't judge."
"Let's try something real basic: Do you understand me?"
He received a nod from his mirror image. Only for his own body to involuntarily shift its head up and down to replicate the nod.
"Oh, my goodness! That just happened. I guess to connection goes both ways. I move he moves; he moves I move? This has way too many implications… Stop! That's not what I am here for!" Leonhard declared, slapping his cheeks.
"Alright then can you follow a command?"
Same procedure with the head nodding.
"Very well, henceforth I command you to notify me of all invaders of my mind! Employ the method of sending emotions to me to notify me. Alright? I command you to guard me, day and night! If you decide that the actions I am taking are not of free will, warn me. If I am unable to reply, halt me. Forcefully. This I declare, this I command!"
During his commandments the mirror started to shine brighter in intensity. The ripple slowly but surely increased in amplitude and turned into a heavy pulsing sound. Each word spoken, brought consequences.
'There, that should do it. Now my own mind works like a tripwire. Any who find themselves here unwanted, will not be able to do so without me knowing it. Since I don't know how to properly prevent them in the first place, this will ought to do. I call it the "Alarm Glocke" – back to the roots huh? German for warning bell. Very creative…'
The light grew stronger with time.
It accumulated to a boiling point where even Leonhard had to squint to protect himself from blindness.
Like a tsunami, with the mirror as its epicenter, a blinding wave of light moved from the center of the glass plane. The entire force behind it dispersed in all directions. The light itself seemed to fade away in the distance and became absorbed by the stars.
'Do they shine brighter now? Anyway, this seems to have worked. I hope, because I'm drawing blanks otherwise when it comes to mental protection, both active and passive. This should help me be aware when something is happening and I can dodge eye contact immediately. Or punch them.'
His gaze shifted from the stars back to the glass pane of silver. He could feel that he was about to leave soon. A subtle pressure kept increasing, it felt like being underwater for too long. And now, he needed to breathe. He glanced at the glass. Its surroundings seemed more clearly defined. It now had a frame, ever so barely. He couldn't identify more, because his time was running out. So, he relaxed, closed his eyes, and breathed-
And he was gone.
The no longer shapeless silver, stood again in solitary silence. It's from contained by the faint outline of a frame. Surrounded by black space and stars in the distance.
All alone. Inside it? The Doppelgänger.
Smiling.
But Leonhard didn't see this, he had already returned.
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Like that first breath after diving under water Leonhard gasped hard and found himself back in his little bedroom.
A mental burden off his shoulder, and another step closer to controlling his own destiny.
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Intermission:
The Latin cogito, ergo sum, usually translated into English as "I think, therefore I am",[a] is the "first principle" of René Descartes's philosophy.
While other knowledge could be a figment of imagination, deception, or mistake, Descartes asserted that the very act of doubting one's own existence served—at minimum—as proof of the reality of one's own mind; there must be a thinking entity—in this case the self—for there to be a thought.
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And that's a wrap! Leave your likes and collections and stones and stuffs…
Or don't! Hang out and enjoy
Danfictions over & out