Madam Wang's face suddenly lunged at me, making me jump so hard my soul almost left my body.
Her voice was cold and sinister:
"Xu Xiaoyan, those three never did anything to me, and I still ruined their reputations.
You've tricked me twice already - this time, I'll make sure you're finished!"
As the word "finished" echoed in the air, Madam Wang paused, thinking her own voice was just bouncing off the walls. She didn't realize the square dance music outside had long since stopped, and now her voice was echoing through the entire community.
Every word she'd said was broadcast loud and clear, thanks to those high-powered speakers I'd gifted the square-dancing grannies.
I glanced at the balcony. Across the way, even hard-of-hearing Granny Dong was leaning out her window, trying to catch every word.
Madam Wang was about to become a legend.
Still oblivious, she kept going, her threats getting more dramatic:
"My husband is cheating and hasn't come home in three days. Now I only have Xiao Fan left.
I won't let anyone take him from me!
Xu Xiaoyan, what if I say my daughter-in-law bullied me so much I had to jump off the building? Maybe then Zhou Fan will divorce you.
I heard there's a news crew nearby today - if you end up on TV, everyone in the city will know your face. You'll never get married again!"
With that, she stormed to the balcony, swung one leg over the railing, and shouted back at me:
"Xiaoyan, if my death is the only way you can have my son, then I'll just die right now!"
She started making a show of climbing over the railing.
I walked toward her slowly, pretending to be terrified.
Madam Wang sneered, "I'm not really going to die today, Xu Xiaoyan. But you, your days are numbered!"
As we got closer, her threats, still echoing through the community, grew louder:
"You're finished. Finished... Finished..."
Finally, the endless echo made her realize something was off.
She scrambled down from the railing, trying to rush back inside, but I blocked her path, giving her no chance to back out.
I threw my head back and shouted at the top of my lungs:
"Help! My mother-in-law is trying to jump off the building!
Mom, please don't do anything foolish! Come down, I'll do whatever you say!"
My voice was so loud, I bet even the next neighborhood over could hear me.
People started crowding their balconies, phones out, ready to record the next viral sensation.
Madam Wang's face went from red to white, then to a shade of pure printer paper.
She collapsed onto the floor, looking like she wished she could disappear.
She closed her eyes several times, probably hoping she could just die and escape reality for a bit.
Downstairs, the square-dancing grannies had arrived, led by the formidable Granny Liu with her trusty megaphone:
"Chen Guifang! Didn't you just threaten your daughter-in-law with suicide to ruin her reputation?
Well, jump then! If you really dare, your daughter-in-law will never get married again—go on, we're all watching!"
Another granny snatched the megaphone:
"Old hag, we all heard what you said to your daughter-in-law just now.
Didn't you want reporters? We got one for you! The reporter heard every word, and they'll make sure the whole country knows how you bullied four daughters-in-law.
Let everyone see what a wicked mother-in-law looks like!"
Madam Wang finally noticed the camera pointed right at her from below.
She let out a shriek and fainted dead away, flopping like a sack of potatoes.
Thanks to her emotional meltdown and the fright of her life, Madam Wang's high blood pressure kicked in, along with a few other complications - straight to the hospital she went, VIP room and all.
When she finally woke up, the first thing she saw was Zhou Fan's anxious face.
She immediately tried to play the victim:
"Son, Xiaoyan—she... she... "
But before she could finish, Zhou Fan's phone buzzed with a flood of messages, all from relatives and neighbors, forwarding the viral video of Madam Wang's "balcony performance."
The group chat was exploding with memes, remixes, and even a few auto-tuned versions of her threats.
I strolled into the hospital room, holding a fruit basket, and gave Madam Wang my brightest, most innocent smile.
"Mom, you're awake! Look, I brought you your favorite bitter melon juice. The whole neighborhood is wishing you a speedy recovery!"
Madam Wang's face turned a lovely shade of green, matching the juice.
I leaned in and whispered, "Don't worry, Mom. Next time you want to be on TV, let me know—I'll make sure you go viral again."
The nurse came in, holding a bouquet from the square-dancing grannies. The card read:
"To the most famous mother-in-law in the city , get well soon, and remember, the whole community is watching!"
Madam Wang nearly fainted again.
I winked at her, then turned to Zhou Fan,
"Should we ask the nurse to turn on the TV? I heard there's a really interesting news segment about family drama today!"
Madam Wang clutched her chest, eyes rolling, as the nurse rushed to check her blood pressure.
I sat back, sipped my coffee, and savored the sweet taste of victory.
After all, karma is best served with a crowd and a megaphone.