Liam
Where are we going?
Damn good question.
I stood there, staring at Olivia, knowing I had no plan. Not one single idea. I had asked her out– on impulse, like a fool with no map– and now I was about to wing the whole thing.
Smooth, Carrington.
She was looking at me with those curious eyes, close enough that I could smell the faint vanilla on her skin. And suddenly, planning anything felt impossible.
I cleared my throat, trying to sound casual, " Where do you want to go, Olivia? I was hoping we'd have more time together, but… I heard you say something about heading home in an hour?"
That last part stung more than it should've.
Didn't she want to spend time with me as much as I wanted with her?
Come on. She's been on her feet all day– working the counter, serving customers, dancing on command, while all you did all day was sit in your air-conditioned office, sketch on your office walls, not finish reading the reports sent to you, and then sneak out of your birthday party.
Olivia had a calm look on her face. She stepped closer and looked up at me through her long lashes, "You mentioned drinks earlier? Any place in mind?"
I swallowed a huge lump of saliva subtly. I was quiet and didn't say a word back to her.
Apart from the fact that my head was actually blank and I didn't know any places that won't hint at my wealth, this proximity with Olivia left me feeling weird as hell.
There was something so alluring about her. The way she stood so close made me feel like reaching down to capture her lips in a kiss.
I could already feel myself leaning down, closer to her face but then, I brought myself back to my senses.
How could I spend just 2 minutes alone with her and I was already losing control?
I never knew this side of me. I had never felt this kind of pull towards someone before. And why it was happening to a girl I had seen for the first time 24 hours ago was scary to me.
Besides, I didn't want to give Olivia the wrong idea. I didn't want her to think I just wanted to meet her to make out or whatever. I actually did want to get to know her for real. Know her deeply. Something told me she had a beautiful and complex soul and I wanted to know all of it and experience her in every way possible.
So, I put a pause on what I was about to do, and cleared my throat loudly, hoping to steady my nerves.
My jaw tightened, but the heat creeping up my neck betrayed me. I noticed that Olivia could see how flustered I was.
I said to Olivia, trying desperately to fix my expression, "Um..have you had dinner yet? Want to grab some food?"
Olivia nodded, "Already had a little dinner. Little perks of being a waitress."
Damn. So, dinner is out of the picture.
"We could get ice cream? Dinner is too cliché." She gave a light smile and I couldn't agree more. I just didn't know what she might like. She gave a one-sided shrug, "I'd like to just take a walk around the block. The weather is really nice for a walk too. What do you think?"
That was not a bad idea. I actually did love it and also loved the fact that she knew what she wanted and wasn't having any other thing.
I nodded, "Sure, Olivia. Anything you want."
Her face fell obviously and I wondered what I did wrong or said wrong.
She pouted for 2 seconds before she squinted her eyes and asked me, "What about what you want?"
I froze. No one had ever asked me that before. And now I was, I didn't know what to say.
Nobody ever cared to ask me what I wanted. They just set things how they were supposed to be and expected me to follow through.
I narrowed my eyes at Olivia, noting how much of a considerate person she was. Anybody who had her in their corner was so lucky.
That simple question softened my heart towards her, even though she was asking about such a minor detail. I let the emotions show on my face. I reached out to her with my palm.
I took her palm in mine and squeezed it. Gently. Warmly. And I'm sure she could feel the emotions that swirled within me with that simple action.
She looked down at our intertwined palms, then looked back up at me through her lashes again. That look that made her so irresistible.
I said in an almost whisper to her, "I want that too, Olivia."
She broke into a big smile that hit me like the sunlight after a storm– unexpected and warming me in places I didn't know were cold, "Okay then!"
"But where can we get ice cream around here?"
"Huh. You don't really come around this area, do you?"
Guilty as charged.
"No, not really."
"There's an ice cream vendor just down the block. It's really good."
"What are we waiting for, then?" I relieved her black shoulder bag from her, "I'll take that."
"Thank you."
"Anytime, Olivia."
I couldn't stop saying her name. It sounded so nice and comforting in some weird way.
The ice cream was actually really good, even better than the overpriced ones I usually get. It reminded me again that expensive things are not always the quality ones.
In the remaining minutes we had to spare, we talked about a lot of things as we circled the block on foot, both deep and surface, and by the end of the time we spent that evening, I could relate to her more than some people I'd known for many years.
She told me about her teenage sister when she said, "Listen, I would love to spend all night with you, if possible. But, I have a teenager at home. My younger sister."
"Oh, I thought you were living with Ava, away from home."
"I am living with Ava. My younger sister lives with us. She's my responsibility. Um…" She paused, "My dad was never in the picture. So, it has always been me, my mom, and Norah. But then, my mom just let life hit her in the face. She became…an addict…She started to neglect us. She wasn't feeding us anymore…Altogether, it was as if we didn't exist to her anymore. So, I just had to take up the role of taking care of myself and Norah. I took on…some jobs. Then, my mom died a year ago. So, I moved in with Ava. And Norah moved in with us too."
I could notice the way this was very difficult for her to say but she was hiding it behind a tough exterior.
"Damn." I knew exactly how it felt to lose your parents. I said to her, putting an arm around her shoulder as we strolled. I noticed the way she gave a sigh of relief as my arms encircled her, " I'm so sorry, Olivia."
"No, it's fine, really. I was almost relieved when she died. The way she was living was…crazy. It was taking a toll on me. She didn't just neglect us. I also had to take care of her. Made sure she ate. When she was high, she was a fucking mess and she was always mostly high. And when she wasn't high, she was crying and apologizing to me for her behavior. Then, she'll promise she'll quit. Then, she'll start to go through the craziest withdrawals…Then, she'd take those pills again and get high again. It was a vicious fucking cycle."
"Damn, nobody is supposed to experience that. Especially from their mom." I loved how she was telling me the dark parts of her growing up. She was so honest. She wasn't even worried that it would drive me away. Maybe I should tell her the truth too? Who I really was?
No. No fucking way.
I asked her as she was silent and staring straight into the night, "So, you take care of Norah alone now?"
"Well, Ava and I."
"Yeah, both of you alone? Do you have any other job apart from this?"
She gave me a look, "If I did, I'm pretty sure they'd want me to show up at the job and not be an absent worker."
"I'm sorry. It's just…it must be so difficult."
"You have no idea."
A part of me wanted to fix everything for her– but that would mean revealing the one thing I was desperate to hide. Also, I think that would piss her off. She was not telling me this so I could start giving her handouts. I could tell she was telling me this because she wanted to. She wanted to tell me and also get it off her chest.
I could feel the resentment and anger she still felt towards her mother even though her mother was late.
"How are you coping, though?" I was worried about her mental, physical, and emotional state.
"As you can see, I'm powering through. Even though I have to look like a clown when dancing for customers on their birthdays sometimes."
"You don't look like a clown."
"Oh please! I hate that shit. I mean, it's okay if we're dancing for the customers who have their birthdays, but what's the need for all that extra padding that has us looking like clowns? I look like a fucking fool that's trying to make a skit or something!"
I chuckled. I could see how much she hated that. I wish I could stop it. Huh. Maybe I could.
I just wanted Olivia to live the best life. I hated that she was overworking herself to get very minimal pay. The way I felt, I wanted to solve all her problems but because I was acting like a regular dude who didn't even own a fucking car, I couldn't.
Should I just tell her I'm not Andy Peterson but Liam Carrington?
How would she react to that?
"That reminds me," she continued, grinning at me, "It's your birthday!!"
I nodded, "Indeed, it is."
"Wow. Sorry, I don't have anything to give you."
"You gave me a dance and a cake in the morning?" I smiled cheekily.
She laughed," Please, that was all Mr Maurice. I didn't do any of that of my own volition." She then paused, in front of a block of apartments and said to me, "Here."
She took a huge scoop of her ice cream towards my lips, "Have this."
I smiled. I didn't want to mention the fact that she was about to feed me her ice cream so she won't feel awkward and not do it anymore. Instead, I said, " That's the last of your ice cream, Olivia."
I had finished my ice cream ages ago. She was such a slow eater.
She pursed her lip, "You think I don't know that? Now, quick. Have it. Before I change my mind. I don't share ice cream, so this should tell you how valuable a gift this should be to you."
I chuckled, "Oh, lucky me. I'm so honored."
She pushed her spoon closer to my face. I bent my head down to her spoon and took her ice cream in my mouth, licking off her spoon clean.
By the time I looked up at her, I noticed the way her eyes were following my lip movements and it made me feel happy that I wasn't the only one thinking of kissing her.
When she saw I had caught her red-handed, she quickly averted her eyes and cleared her throat, awkwardly. The same thing I had done when I was caught doing the same thing.
I smiled. She smiled back.
She dumped the empty ice cream cup into the bin and using a thumb, she pointed to the building we were standing in front of, "This is me."
"I'll walk you to your door."
I made sure to keep a respectful distance, not wanting to give a wrong impression. The idea of a teenager living with them was also not very advantageous to me because those kids are addicted to their phones, so no doubt she knew who I was, and I didn't want Olivia to know. Besides, I knew Olivia had had a long day. I needed her to rest so she could get up strong for tomorrow's work as well.
She paused on the second floor, the third door on the right, and said, "My apartment." With a nudge of her head.
I nodded and handed her bag to her, "Goodnight, Olivia."
She took her bag as she said, "You know, I can't believe you decided to spend your night with me, on your birthday. What about your friends?"
Damn. She was looking at me that way again, through her lashes. Giving me that look that made me want to pull her in and kiss the hell out of her.
She had me distracted. I paused before I said, "Um, yeah. I uh…I see my friends every day soooo…"
I tried to resist but the way her eyes held mine made it impossible. I could feel my face leaning closer to hers, like I wasn't in control of my body. The fact that she wasn't leaning back, only made me bolder and lean my face even closer.
"My..friends..are…boring." With each word, I leaned my face closer to hers. My face was directly in front of hers and my voice was barely above a whisper when I said, "And you're not."
She tilted her face up a bit so her lips were just in front of mine. I hesitated– just a breath between us. And then, I gave in. I pressed my lips to hers, drawn by something deeper than want. Soft and slow. Like we had all the time in the world.
I then wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and slender body.
At first, the kiss wasn't fireworks. It was something different. Better, dare I say. It was soft. It was calm. It was peace. It was like I had been running on adrenaline for years and finally found a resting place.
I could stay there forever.
Then, Olivia stood on her toes and wrapped her arms round my neck, one palm rubbing the nape of my neck and she deepened the kiss.
That was when the fireworks set in. I didn't want to start to compare the kiss I had with Celeste a few hours ago and the kiss I was sharing with Olivia now.
While Celeste's was exactly nothing…this? This was everything. It lit up something in me I didn't know existed– something raw and real.
I never wanted to stop kissing Olivia. But then, we had to break and come up for air.
She was breathing hard. I was too.
I leaned my forehead on hers, my arms still round her waist and her arms still round my neck.
I asked her in rasped breaths, "When am I seeing you again, Olivia?"
She didn't reply. She just pulled away from me. She opened the door, turned back one last time, and whispered, "You'll know where to find me, Andy."
Then, she was gone.
I smiled. But I wasn't Andy.
And that truth was starting to burn.