The void beckoned an invitation to rest, and my mind was too weak to resist. Helpless, I felt trapped in my own body, endlessly wandering through my mind. With no way to place myself, I could only see, or rather, imagine the vivid captures of hours passing in blinks of consciousness, without notice and without conscious.
My thoughts were scattered, in a cycle of forgettance and the inability to awaken. Unable to link judgements and pondering long enough to give a sense of control, the only thing that greeted me was the comfort of bliss and assumed safety.
I didn't hear myself, I was merely talking in my mind. I couldn't move. I felt potent lethargy? The connection of my mind to my body was gone. And even as I slept in the bed of black, my eyes still felt the desire of rest even.
How much time has passed? How much longer will I to experience this slumber? Before I forget to think, to comprehend, to wake? Hours if not days, and if not years might have passed, and eventually my consciousness adapted.
Although, my state disallowed me to wake up, an urge kept me waking and waking, as if being forced to persist in travelling a vast dune while only being able to look at the sand beneath my feet. Persistently try to regain consciousness, but nothing has yet come to fruition, only a cycle of blissful awakening and ruthless beckoning of the abyss.
Is this how it feels to be in a coma? I couldn't feel my body or if I ever had one. I questioned everything that I could perceive. Is this my voice? The voice I have when I speak. Are those sounds that I hear? Or merely the static of the deafening silence of my mind. And are those colors that my eyes perceive? Or perhaps are those memories blurring past as dreams?
Thoughts tried to form, and all were filled questions and desperation. Because in this state, am I still alive? If I am, I ask myself to give me a sign. A perspective in this endless abyss that is different than I have now, a mirage of oasis, a reality not of my desperate mind.
I felt helpless and desperate.
"..." A sound, or was it my imagination? Something pierced through this static silence. Footsteps, I heard the thump echo pass through me, coming from somewhere. The echo got closer, the static disappeared and I felt it, someone.
"Kal..." A voice whispered gently from, behind me? In front? somewhere, she was close but I couldn't see her. I tried to speak but, not even air escaped.
Kal? is that my name? Is she telling my name?
For how long it has been I felt alive once again and I tried to search for her, this familiar voice that has awaken me. And for a moment, it felt as if this darkness had form, had light, had life. I tried to find her, she was close but she was nowhere to be seen.
"Kal." She said to me once again, and so I instinctively shouted "Yes!" even when I can't speak
Her voice was sterner this time, I couldn't see her but I felt her strength, her anger? Perhaps sadness? Worrying?. Somehow I understood her, more than I understand myself. I felt like I knew where she was so I tried to reach out for her. But something kept me, kept her away. And so her warmth started to fade.
"No wait! Come back!" I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't see nor know where she was, but my will instinctively knew where she was, but with every will that tried to reach for her, I couldn't reach her.
"Kal!" She shouted for me. But the ground I felt beneath me disappeared, and I fell further deeper into the void.
She reached out for me but we were both pulled away from each other. I tried to reach her but before I knew it, she was gone, I was gone.
I felt rain, I heard thunders, I felt cold. More than just my imagination, I felt myself. I was alive.