"Congratulations! You have died!"
…Huh?
I opened my eyes and found myself floating in an endless white void. It smelled suspiciously like printer paper.
Before I could scream, panic, or wonder if I left the stove on, a glowing blue screen popped in front of me like a YouTube ad I couldn't skip.
> [SYSTEM INSTALLATION COMPLETE]
Welcome, User! You have successfully reincarnated into the world of Eltheria!
You are now bound to the Mission-Driven Power-Up System™!
Let's begin your tutorial!
Mission 1: Punch yourself in the face!
Reward: 5 XP and 1 Bread.
"…What the hell?" I muttered.
> Would you like to begin the tutorial?
A) Yes
B) Absolutely yes
C) You're doing it whether you like it or not
"I'd like to complain to management."
> Option not available. Punch yourself already.
"…Fine," I sighed, raised my hand, and gave myself the weakest slap in history. It tickled.
> Tutorial Mission Complete!
You received: 5 XP
+1 Bread (Stale)
"I hate this already."
Then, everything blurred—and I dropped out of the sky like a sack of potatoes.
---
THUD!
I slammed into the dirt, face first. Not heroic. Not graceful. Pretty sure a rock kissed my forehead.
"Ow—okay, good news: I'm alive. Bad news: I landed in a cabbage field. I think I crushed one."
Somewhere in the distance, a villager screamed, "MY CABBAGES!"
I sat up and looked around. Green hills, birds chirping, some medieval cottages—and what looked like a slime slowly bouncing toward me like a rejected Jell-O mascot.
And then the system popped up again.
> Mission 2: Defeat the approaching Level 1 slime!
Reward: 10 XP, 1 Bronze Coin
Penalty: Embarrassing death by goo
"Cool cool cool… except I have no sword."
> Check your inventory.
I focused, and a small digital menu appeared. There were only two things inside:
Stale Bread x1
Wooden Stick (Condition: Probably Splinters)
"…What am I, a tutorial mob?"
The slime wobbled closer. It made a noise like "blorp," which was probably the slime equivalent of "I'm going to eat your face."
"Alright, time to see if all those years of RPGs meant something."
I pulled out the stick like a warrior… and immediately dropped it because I got a splinter.
> WARNING: 1 HP lost due to splinter damage.
"SERIOUSLY?!"
I snatched the stick again (carefully this time), ran at the slime, and whacked it with all my might.
The stick bounced off harmlessly. The slime jiggled, unimpressed.
"Oh crap."
> Tip: Slimes are weak to blunt force trauma. Try again.
"That's what I'm doing!"
I swung harder. And again. And again. My arms ached. The slime jiggled. I screamed.
Finally, with one last desperate whack, the slime burst like a balloon full of green pudding.
> Enemy Defeated!
+10 XP
+1 Bronze Coin
Loot: Slime Core (Sticky, probably useless)
I collapsed to the ground, panting. "I almost died… to a slime."
> That was pathetic. But congrats!
"Shut up."
> Would you like to open the System Shop?
"…Sure. Why not?"
A new menu opened, filled with items:
---
SYSTEM SHOP
[Weapons]
Rusty Dagger – 5 Bronze
Training Sword – 10 Bronze
Rubber Chicken (??? Stat) – 7 Bronze
[Skills]
Basic Swordsmanship – 20 XP
Fireball (Burn your face risk: Medium) – 30 XP
Intimidating Glare Lv. 1 – 10 XP
[Misc]
Bread (Fresh) – 2 Bronze
Mysterious Potion – 8 Bronze
Lottery Ticket (??? result) – 3 Bronze
---
I only had 15 XP and 1 Bronze Coin, so I bought Intimidating Glare Lv. 1, because why not?
> Skill Acquired: Intimidating Glare Lv. 1
Warning: May cause squirrels to faint.
"This is going to be a long adventure."
Then I heard a rustle. Behind me, a group of goblins appeared. At least six of them. One was chewing on a chicken leg. Another had a rusty spear. They were green, ugly, and very interested in me.
"Oh come on! I haven't even found a town yet!"
> Mission 3: Survive the goblin ambush!
Reward: 30 XP, 2 Bronze Coins, and Possibly Your Life.
I raised my stick. "Alright, system. You and me. Let's do this."
> Don't worry! Statistically, you'll only die 83% of the time in this situation!
"…I hate you."