My hands were stretched out to him. Expressing what my
voice couldn't. I needed his help – even if it's just this once - I'd hoped he
helped me. But he didn't reach out to me.
Instead, I watch him turn his back at me. I watch him walk
away when I needed him the most.
Even after all she said, there was a part of me that
hoped it wasn't true. Even if he doesn't love me - I'd thought he would at the
very least liked me… maybe?
I thought all the things I did for him would make him
see me, tolerate me or something.
But no. We kept drifting further apart.
And it's all my fault.
I simply did too much. I trusted the wrong person. Did
the craziest things for love. Forgot my self worth.
All these to earn his approval, his acknowledgment - for
him to see me – none of which ever happened.
And now, here I am.
Lying in the pool of my own blood for someone who
doesn't even care for my life or death.
Oh, how I wish I could turn back time!
I refuse to face my family like this. This is too
shameful. For I've fallen too far from the woman I was raised to be. I dare not
face my mama.
Now, for the first time ever, I wish not to be seen,
heard or even thought of- I wish not to be saved.
I wish my soul
disintegrates and scatters into nothingness .
I wish to be completely erased from the universe.