Beep! Beep! Beep!
The sharp sound of an alarm clock stabbed through the quiet, dragging Lin Chen out of his warm, blanket-cocooned dreamland.
"Ugh… ten more minutes…" he mumbled, fumbling for the snooze button like a zombie.
His hands smacked around wildly — but no alarm clock. No bed. No blanket.
"Huh?"
Lin Chen's eyes snapped open.
He wasn't in his cramped studio apartment, surrounded by instant noodle packets and cultivation novel posters. Instead… he was floating.
Floating in an endless expanse of swirling white mist, where countless stars flickered like restless fireflies. In the distance, mountains bigger than planets rose and fell like waves. Golden rivers of light twisted through space like celestial dragons, coiling and roaring in silence.
"...I didn't drink last night… did I? Maybe too much spicy hotpot?!"
Before he could panic further, a giant screen appeared in front of him, shimmering with lines of golden text.
[System Initialization...]
[Host: Lin Chen (Deceased)]
[Former Status: Human Male, Earth, Age 26, Single (and pathetically so)]
[Cause of Death: Truck-kun (Classic Edition)]
[New Status: Heavenly Dao]
[Congratulations! You are now the Supreme Order and Law of All Realms.]
[Current Realm: Primordial Heaven-Realm Cluster (Main Universe)]
[WARNING: All former Dao spirits failed to achieve universal balance. You are the last candidate. Mission failure will result in complete cosmic collapse and eternal loneliness. Have fun!]
Lin Chen's jaw nearly dislocated.
"Heavenly… Dao?! Wait, wait, wait! How did I go from late rent payments to controlling the entire universe?!"
He reached up to grab his hair — but found no physical body. Only a golden, semi-transparent outline with lines of runic energy constantly flowing through him. He looked like an upgraded Pokémon ghost version of himself.
"System! System! Hello? What the hell do you mean by 'last candidate'? And what the fuck is 'eternal loneliness'?!"
A line of text flickered lazily.
[Ding!]
[Current System Configuration: Passive Observer Mode.]
[Direct assistance is prohibited. Please use your intelligence and creativity to resolve universal balance issues.]
[P.S.: We believe in you! ;) ]
[Legally required motivational message]
Lin Chen almost fainted.
"Are you kidding me?! You give me an OP title and then just… leave me to figure it out on my own?!"
Yet even as he shouted, new data rushed into his mind.
Suddenly, he understood the flows of karma across endless galaxies. He saw every cultivation sect and every demonic domain. He felt the joy of mortals being reunited with loved ones and the despair of cultivators who sacrificed themselves for "righteousness" only to be betrayed.
All at once, Lin Chen realized the truth:
The so-called Heavenly Dao was never "benevolent" or "merciful." The former Daos just balanced power like cold accountants — adjusting karma debt here, forcibly pushing reincarnations there, stirring up wars to "purify" spiritual energy.
"This... this is so messed up!"
For countless eons, beings worshipped the Dao, thinking it was divine and all-knowing. But in reality, it was like a half-broken office printer — spitting out random fates and messy retribution receipts.
Lin Chen's eyes (well, his spirit eyes) shone.
"Then I… I can change it all. I can fix this garbage system! I'll create a world where cultivators don't have to slaughter each other just to rise a single realm. Where sect leaders won't kill juniors to refine pills. Where fox girls can live without being chased for their tails… Wait. Did I just think that last part out loud?"
...
At that moment, a large mirror of cosmic water appeared before him. Through it, he saw the lower realm called the "Azure Lotus Continent."
A powerful sect elder was publicly executing a young female disciple. Her fox ears drooped in despair, her tail tightly wrapped around her trembling body.
"Your seduction arts have led countless outer sect disciples astray! You deserve to be skinned and refined into pills for the grand elder's breakthrough!"
The onlookers cheered, unaware of the girl's tearful gaze.
Lin Chen clenched his fists.
"Seduction arts, my ass! She just wanted to sell steamed buns at the sect gates to save her sick mother!"
Instantly, endless lines of karma and destiny threads appeared before him. He felt the urge to correct them, to push this sect elder into a pile of cow dung, or maybe even make him slip on his own spiritual essence and fart himself into the next life.
But he paused.
Wait… wasn't he supposed to think before acting?
He scanned the sect's internal karma balance, saw the elder's secret crimes — hundreds of lives destroyed for personal gain — and the fragile threads of loyalty among his disciples.
Lin Chen's spirit eyes narrowed.
"Let's do it systematically. No random divine lightning. Let's make it elegant and hilarious. Let's also... test my new powers a bit."
...
He reached into the karmic web with his mind.
A few gentle tugs. A little reweaving here, a slip of destiny there...
Suddenly, in the Azure Lotus Sect's central courtyard, the righteous elder felt an intense urge.
"I-I… my stomach…! Gaaaahhhh!"
He doubled over, face turning purple. His spiritual energy burst chaotically, turning his internal meridians into a violent whirlpool.
"NOOO! HELP! MY DAO FOUNDATION!"
With a PUFF, a jet of rainbow-colored spiritual gas shot out. The crowd went silent for a second — then burst into horrified screams.
The elder staggered backward, slipped on the multicolored gas, and fell headfirst into the sect's sacred koi pond.
The supposedly pious koi fish, now infected by his chaotic qi, transformed into hundreds of tiny rainbow frogs, jumping all over the courtyard and croaking "Shameless! Shameless!"
Meanwhile, the fox girl blinked in confusion, her ropes snapping open as the elder's control spells dissolved.
"S-Spirit Master…?!"
Before she could react, a mysterious golden halo enveloped her, healing her wounds and reinforcing her foundation. Her previously suppressed spiritual veins shone, her cultivation soaring past five minor realms in an instant.
Back in the celestial mist, Lin Chen cackled.
"Who said the Heavenly Dao has to be a cold-hearted tyrant? Can't it be a bit comedic? A bit spicy? Hehe… wait, why do I feel like I'm writing a cheap webnovel plot…? Ah, never mind!"
At that moment, a ripple spread across countless realms.
In the hidden heavenly palaces, ancient golden statues of former Dao spirits cracked and collapsed.
A shadowy council of old ancestors in the deepest void shivered.
"Impossible! Why is the Heavenly Dao… laughing?!"
"Is it… intervening directly in mortal affairs? Blasphemy!"
"Wait… that fox girl… she's now qualified to ascend? Who did this?!"
Meanwhile, hundreds of sect masters received prophetic dreams that night. In them, a mysterious figure in shimmering golden mist appeared, wearing casual Earth-style shorts and holding a can of bubble tea.
"Be good. Or else you'll meet rainbow frogs next."
The next morning, cultivators across the continent knelt in fear and confusion.
"Did… the Heavenly Dao become conscious?! Is it angry? Merciful? Crazy?!"
Lin Chen looked at his hands — or rather, his divine runic energy.
He felt power coursing through him like endless cosmic oceans. He could shatter entire planes with a thought, or create galaxies as easily as drawing a doodle. But the greatest thrill wasn't his strength — it was the freedom to finally change the unfair system he'd read about and cursed for years.
A screen flickered before him again.
[Notification!]
[First intervention successful.]
[Public perception of Heavenly Dao: "Chaotic, unpredictable, terrifyingly mysterious."]
New Title unlocked: "Meddling Heavenly Prankster."
[Optional Challenge: Rewrite reincarnation cycle to be "less of a gacha lottery." ]
[Rewards: ???]
Lin Chen spat out an imaginary sip of tea.
"Rewrite reincarnation?! Bro… that's basically rewriting the entire cosmic script! System, you're not pulling any punches, huh?"
He looked down at the Azure Lotus Continent again. The fox girl was now gathering spirit herbs with a silly grin, muttering about building a bun shop and "accidentally" seducing handsome young masters.
Lin Chen smirked.
"Well… looks like I need to plan my next move. After all… I'm not just going to be the next Heavenly Dao — I'll be the last one they ever need."
He spread his arms wide, cosmic runes flaring brighter than stars.
"Rejoice, cultivators! Your new Dao has arrived! …And I might bring some extra drama, some buns, and maybe a few misunderstandings along the way!"