ADELINE'S POV
I wake up the next day still feeling sore form everything that happened yesterday. As soon as I remember it, I start crying again. I take the sheets from my bed and cover myself up as good as I can. I feel so dirty. I quickly run into the bathroom and I scrub. I scrub at my skin until I'm all red. I scrub until it hurts but nothing is enough. There is no amount of scrubbing that can change what happened yesterday.
No amount of water or soap that can change how degraded I was. I dry myself up and change into the only comfortable clothes that I have in this place. The pajamas that acres till too short. So fucking short. Everything in this damn place is degrading! I scream and start thrashing the room when Colton suddenly walks in with a worried look on his face.
"Get out!" I immediately say. "I don't need your pity. Get out right now." He doesn't move. He just stands there and stares at me with that pitiful look on his face. I know there was nothing he could have done for me yesterday. There was no way for him to help me even if he tried so I don't even hate him for it.
I don't hate him for the fact that we were both helpless. But he's a man and I don't want to be around men right now. I just want to be left alone.
"I know you don't want me in here right now Adeline…" He says.
"You think!?" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Get out!"
"But you have to stop screaming and throwing stuff around or you could really get into trouble." I can see the seriousness on his face as his words come out more sternly than I remember. I shut up and let the tears fall from my face as I stare at him.
"Veronica does not appreciate the screaming and she's so close to coming down here and punishing you again so if you don't want that to happen, shut up and calm down." His words are like a spear to my chest. After what happened he wants me to calm down. After everything that happened to me, he wants me to suck it up and pretend like nothing happened? He wants me to ignore it.
I mean I understand him. I understand that he doesn't want to say things like that to me. I understand that he doesn't want to be rude to me. I understand that it hurts him to see me like this and I understand that I acted crazily yesterday. I understand that I disobeyed a direct order and I got the punishment that I deserved.
I mean what the hell was I thinking anyways. Now that I look back at it, I understand how foolish I must have been. Since came to this place, nothing like that had ever happened to me. I must have thought I was immune or something. I must have thought since no one had ever touched me here, that it would never happen. But I should have been smarter than that.
I should have controlled my emotions more and even now, after what happened, I am still spiraling, forgetting that no one on this damn place gives a fuck about me. Nobody cares. Only Colton has ever helped me and I know he would never blame me but the look on his face tells me that I should have acted better yesterday.
I should have packed up my emotions and thrown them away to the bottomless pit in my heart. I shouldn't have disrespected the director. I should have acted nonchalant and nothing that happened yesterday would have happened. At the end of the day, it's all my fault. I dug my own grave and I have no one to blame but myself.
But how? How could a director of the FBI be involved in this? How many missing cases has he swept under the rug to protect erotica? Ever since I found out about Dante, I kept asking myself, why not just go to the police. With all the evidence that Dante has gathered over the years, why not just take it to the FBI. Now I know why. It is because in this god forsaken world no one can be trusted. Everyone is dirty and everyone is corrupted.
You don't know who your friends are. You don't know who your enemies are. All you have is yourself. Looking at Colton now, I can't even trust him. If his sister is in danger for even one second, I have no doubt that he would let me down. At the end of the day, humans are so terribly disappointing and the only person you can ever really count on is yourself.
And so, from today, that Is exactly what I would do. No more crying. No more reacting solely based on my emotions. I have been transformed into a totally different person just by what happened to me yesterday and now, now I will do everything to survive. I feel nausea creeping up my throat so I rush into the bathroom and throw up all the contents of my stomach.
Colton rushes for me and places his hand on my back as I throw up. I almost push him away, but I keep my calm and rise to my feet once I'm done. I wipe away my tears and give him a blank stare.
"We have to tell Dante about the director." I whisper. "He'd know what to do." Colton doesn't answer me. All he does is nod his head obediently as he helps me get my balance. I don't utter another word to him as I pull my hand away from his and walk back to my bed. All I want to do is sleep and I want Colton out of my room.
I don't want any other person touching me for as long as I live.
"If you have nothing else to do in here, please leave." I say to Colton and he takes a step forward. I glare at him and he lets out a sigh. I don't need comfort right now. What part of that does he not understand? Just as he's about to turn around and leave, Veronica pushes my door open and walks in with a guard.
I immediately stand from my bed and focus my eyes on my feet as my heart beats frantically in my chest. She's not supposed to be here. It's time for us to go to bed.
"You've learned I see." I don't say a word as she lingers. She must love that I am submitting to her. She must love that I am so helpless.
"What you did yesterday was stupid." She states. "It's foolish to put yourself in compromising situations for no reason. Have you learned nothing, Angel?" She taunts me as she stares at the mess that I created in my room.
"You want pity so bad." She says. "You want to be the hero so bad. Well it will get you killed and I don't know how well I have to spell it out for you but you need to get it through that thick and beautiful skull of yours that this is your new life now and what happened yesterday was only the beginning and no one will ever prevent it from happening if you decide to act stupid again. You have no respect!"
I don't react to her words. I listen to them all with my head down.
"You will not repeat it again." She says authoritatively. "Luckily for you, despite the little move you pulled, a lot of the buyers are pretty interested in you. I can already tell we will make a lot of money on auction day. Now you will be bought whether you like it or not and those men, those men will not be kind to you for the time you will live with them. They will hurt you if you do not comply. But if you fulfil the role you are being bought for, then I assure you, the rest of your life, no matter how long or short it may be, will be more bearable for you. So don't be stupid darling. Just follow the damn instructions!"
She hisses out in anger and steps so close to me that I can feel her breath fan my face. Yet I still don't lift my head and I still don't say a word. I focus on what really matters. Naomi and getting the hell out of this place.
As I reflect, I remember the look on the faces of the other girls yesterday. Only Silver seemed to be concerned bur the rest of them just had smirks on their faces. Even Della. Even fucking Della.
"Let's go." Veronica says and then stops in her tracks at the door. "And Colton, do not leave her room tonight."
Veronica says and then walks out. She wants to punish me. She knows what happened yesterday and she knows I will never be comfortable with another man in the room.
"It's not what you think. She just doesn't want you to try and kill yourself. Many have tried before and some, have surprisingly succeeded. She's placing aa lot of faith and trust in the money you can bring her. She won't let you die."
"So you're just going to stare at me all night?" I ask him.
"If that means you won't do anything stupid, then yes. I will stare at you all night." I almost start shaking but I push my emotions away and take a seat on my bed. I let out a huge sigh and rest my head on my pillow. Colton taking in the mess in my room, moves forwards and starts cleaning it.
He's not going to sleep tonight because he has to watch me and something tells me I'll barely get enough sleep too.
"I'm sorry." Colton says, his voice barely above a whisper as he speaks. I see his gun tucked in at the back of his shoulder. I could easily grab it but what would I even do with it.
"Your apology is really useless right now Colton." I say. "Please just leave me alone and do what you have to do." I say and lay in bed on my side, turning my back to him as I shut my eyes. I'm definitely not going to sleep but I'm not in the mood to look at Colton and make conversation either.