My father once told me:
"Life isn't full of happiness. For some, maybe. But most of the time, it's full of sadness."
No matter how successful we are, how joyful, there will always be moments when sadness creeps in.
I both agree and disagree. If I know I did my best, then no matter how things turn out, it shouldn't feel so bad.
Unless you lose someone important.
I guess I'm one of those people who never realize something—or someone—is important... until it's gone.
Anger.
Sadness.
And most of all—regret.
"Dad, where's Mom? Why is Grandma crying?"
I couldn't answer my daughter's question.
---
The man, drenched in rain, stared at the ground with unfocused eyes.
"Seo-yeon..."
pitter patter — the sound of rain hitting the earth.
"I—"
"..."
I kept my mouth shut… as I stared at the name carved into the gravestone.
If I had never come into your life… would this not have happened?
How dare I destroy you?
It's been three months since the funeral, and I still can't believe you're gone.
I still remember the smile on your face when we first met—
Full of life.
Full of hope.
Full of joy.
And I took it all away.
I couldn't even look your mother in the eye.
I made her a promise—that I would protect you and our daughter. But I—
I'm just a selfish bastard who doesn't deserve to live.
No. Death would be too easy.
It wouldn't be enough punishment for what I let happen.
I wanted to kill myself.
But when I looked into our daughter's eyes...
I couldn't.
Pathetic.
Shameless.
"Hah—"
---
Knock, knock.
"Who is it?"
"It's me."
The door creaked open. My mother-in-law stood in the doorway, her eyes sharp with contempt.
"How is she?"
"She's sleeping."
"I see."
"So? What's your plan?"
"I—"
"I see. You're still the same. Even after
she's gone, nothing has changed."
"Mother, I—"
"Don't come back."
"..."
"You weren't capable of being a husband. Let alone a father. I regret the day I let you marry her. I should've stopped you from taking her away."
"She was the only one left for me... and you destroyed her. You promised her a better life. A future. And what did you do?"
"While she was raising your daughter alone—where were you?"
"Mother, please..."
I dropped to my knees, tears pouring down my face.
"At least... at least let me take care of our daughter. If I can't even do that, then I— I—"
"You should've thought about that... before you cheated on her."
SLAM!
The door shut violently.
Yes, that's right.
I, Kang Tae Jin, 30 years old—
Cheated on my wife.
It was a mistake.
But it wasn't just a mistake.
I was caught by my wife, having sex with her best friend, Da-eun.
The look on her face—
I still remember it.
The soul vanishing from her eyes.
Her face turning pale.
Tears spilling down.
I'm an idiot.
I should've followed her that day.
Begged.
Or let her kill me.
No—
That's just another excuse.
I should've never done something that vile in the first place.
I keep thinking—
If she hadn't caught me that day… would things have turned out differently?
Would that bastard have stabbed someone else instead of her?
No. I was no better than him.
Worse, even.
I should've been the one to die that day.
Ring, ring.
[Missed Call: Da-eun]
I had been cheating on my wife for two years.
I wasn't happy with my life.
I was always busy with work.
She was always busy raising our daughter.
We never had time for each other.
Or maybe... I never made time for her.
It all started when Sol was born.
We wanted to give her a good life.
So I took every job I could find.
I didn't finish college, so being a construction worker wasn't enough.
I became a waiter.
A bus driver.
A janitor.
Even a clown at children's birthday parties.
When Sol turned four, I finally caught a break.
I became a supervisor at a hotel—owned by Da-eun, my wife's best friend.
Eventually, I got promoted to manager.
Why?
Because of my wife.
She begged her best friend to give me a chance.
And yet...
On my wife's 28th birthday, I was at the back of a restaurant—
Kissing Da-eun.
When I gave my wife her gift, my lips moved...
But my heart was frozen.
I wasn't just unfaithful.
I was a coward.
Afraid of the weight of my own choices.
The guilt hit me before the kiss even ended.
Sharp.
Suffocating.
I tried to end it.
Da-eun agreed.
But it didn't stop.
She later confessed she had loved me since college.
And when I was with her…
I felt young.
We continued.
Our affair became routine.
And I hated myself more with each passing day.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I wanted to vomit.
Because my wife gave everything to me—
Her youth.
Her smile.
Her love.
And I—
Chime.
Da-eun: Can we talk?
I stared at my phone for a long time.
Then shoved it in my pocket.
I drove aimlessly, ending up at the Han River.
Click.
I stepped out of the car and stood by the railing, staring at the black water.
If I could go back in time...
I wouldn't enter your life.
I wouldn't even let you see my face.
I would just—
The world went silent, then his feet left the ground.