It began, as all things do in this story, with a nap.
Whiskers was in his sunbeam meditation stance (lying flat, tail twitching every 20 seconds) when a scroll arrived—spiraling through clouds, trailing sparkles, and playing a tiny gong with every spin.
🏮HEAVENLY REALMS INVITE THE DIVINE CAT OF AZURE CLOUD SECT TO TOURNAMENT OF STARS🏮
Please send a representative if you're too lazy to attend. (Which we assume you are.)
The scroll shimmered gold.
Xi-Xi picked it up and chirped excitedly.
"Master! It says the winner gets ten million spirit stones and a floating island of grilled fish!"
Whiskers opened one eye. "Too many people. Too much cheering. I'd have to wear a medal, wouldn't I?"
"Yes."
"Decline."
The sect elders, however, saw a problem.
If they didn't send someone, the Heavenly Realms might feel insulted. Again.
So they asked, begged, and then bribed Whiskers to allow someone to attend in his name.
The cat flicked his tail and muttered, "Fine. But I get to pick."
He wandered into the sword disciple dormitory that night.
They all froze.
Whiskers inspected them with disinterest, then leapt onto the bunk of a quiet, awkward, barely-Core-Formation disciple named Jin Yu—a thin boy with big eyes and a nervous stammer.
"You smell like clean socks," Whiskers said. "You'll do."
Elder Mei was baffled.
"Jin Yu? He's… decent with a sword, but he's no prodigy."
"He listens when squirrels talk," Whiskers replied. "He doesn't interrupt when the mountain hums. He also shares fish crackers with birds."
"...So this is a heart test?"
"No. His aura won't annoy me on spirit livestream."
With that, Jin Yu was wrapped in ceremonial robes, given a glowing token in the shape of a paw, and flung into the Heavenly Tournament of Stars via rainbow catapult.
The Heavenly Tournament was held on a floating island above the Ninth Heaven, where gravity was optional and cheering could be muted by divine command.
Thousands gathered.
Champions from dragon clans, fire gods, sword heavens, frost citadels. Each radiated enough power to erase cities with a sneeze.
And then there was Jin Yu.
Shy, polite, armed with a medium-quality sword and a divine cat token around his neck.
The crowd murmured.
"That's the Azure Cloud's representative?"
"Where's the cat?!"
"Did they send a fanboy?"
The first round began.
A bronze-skinned war maiden lunged at Jin Yu, wielding two axes and the flame of an extinct star.
He dodged. Barely.
Then—his token glowed.
A faint ripple passed through the arena.
And the war maiden… blinked, forgot what she was doing, yawned, and lay down for a nap.
Match over.
This pattern repeated.
An ice cultivator challenged him. Her techniques froze the sky.
The token pulsed. She forgot her grudge and decided she liked snow cones.
A sword prodigy declared vengeance.
He tripped, sat down, and reflected on his life choices for two hours.
A demon lord screamed about blood debts.
The token hummed. The demon lord offered Jin Yu tea and retired.
Word spread.
"That's Whiskers' chosen?"
"The Divine Cat's aura lives in the token!"
"He's not winning. The world is surrendering!"
Jin Yu reached the final round.
His opponent: Crown Prince Xing Tian of the Thunder Realm. Tall, glowing, wielding a spear made from a storm serpent's fang.
He pointed it at Jin Yu and smiled.
"I'm immune to mental interference."
Jin Yu gulped.
Whiskers, watching through a divination mirror back at the sect, murmured:
"I like this one. Time to interfere the old-fashioned way."
In the sky above the arena, a tiny meow echoed.
A ripple passed through all dimensions.
Time hiccupped.
Suddenly, Xing Tian blinked, lost focus—
And Jin Yu poked him in the side with his wooden scabbard.
The spear fell.
The prince bowed.
"You've shown me something deeper than victory… respect. Thank you."
Jin Yu won.
The crowd roared.
But when asked what he wanted as a reward, Jin Yu simply said:
"I want to return home. I miss the cat."
The judges stared.
And then they clapped.
When Jin Yu returned, Whiskers batted a fish cracker into his hand and grumbled, "You didn't ruin the shrine's reputation. That's rare."
Jin Yu knelt.
"I brought you… the sash of the Thunder Prince. It's made of cloud silk."
Whiskers sniffed it, sneezed, and curled up on it.
"Acceptable. You're now my third-favorite disciple."
Xi-Xi shrieked. "I'M FIRST!"
Jin Yu blinked. "Who's second?"
"Me," Whiskers muttered. "Sometimes I impress myself."