Lying in a hospital bed, an IV in my arm, my heart slowly giving out as I read a Naruto hentai fanfic. Yeah, the final volume of "Sakura x Tsunade: The Byakugō Tits," collector's edition. Damn, I didn't even finish the chapter where they merged their chakra for... well...
My eyelids grew heavier. I'd been hospitalized for years due to terminal cancer.
"I guess my time's up..."
I felt like my body was floating. And as I let go...
"Huh!" I jolted upright.
Because the moment I closed my eyes, convinced I was finally leaving this world, I opened them elsewhere—shocked and confused by what was happening.
"What? Am I still alive?"
I looked around, gasping, my forehead drenched in cold sweat. The room was a mess: ninja scrolls scattered on the floor, a katana leaning against the wall, a black jacket hanging on a chair. A smell of iron and sweat. Nothing like my sterile white hospital room. Like someone had just been training like crazy.
"Where the hell am I?" I grumbled, sitting up. My gaze fell on my chest.
Bare chest. Sculpted. Fucking abs. Me, who'd never seen a gym except in pictures, now had a body fit for a yaoi hentai. I touched my pecs.
"Is... is this real?"
I stood slowly, legs trembling. One step, then two. I could feel my feet. My fucking feet. I'd been paralyzed for the last two years of my life! And now, I was standing. Tears welled up in my eyes.
"I can walk..."
Then my gaze fell on my left arm. Or rather… the absence of it.
"Huh?"
The dry, clean stump, long since healed. And that's when it hit me. A dull, brutal ache. A migraine that made me scream and collapse to the floor. My brain exploded with memories that weren't mine. Visions of Sharingan, battles, betrayals, Itachi, Madara, Kaguya. The world spun. I gasped, drenched in sweat, eyes rolling back. And then, it was obvious...
I'm in Sasuke Uchiha's body.
Wait... WHAT THE FUCK?!
Me, Hikaru, 33, virgin, hardcore geek, hentai fan since I was 14... I've literally become Sasuke. Konoha's emo pretty boy. The most stylish of all Uchiha. The one who makes all the waifus wet. And I've got all his fucking powers.
I was torn between excitement and panic. The person who reincarnated me here... I swallowed. No point thinking about it. The essentials...
"Damn... I'm in Naruto..."
I dragged myself to a cracked mirror and stared at my reflection. Black hair, angular face, left eye normal, right one bandaged. I was him. But inside... I was still me. The geek who'd never known anything but his imagination.
I stood up, a smirk on my face despite the pain. "Okay, okay, this is real." My mind immediately wandered to the waifus. Ino, with her blonde hair and goddess body. Tsunade, the ultimate MILF with her... huge boobs. Tenten, cute. And that exotic redhead who hung out with Choji, Karui, yeah, that's it.
"Back then, Naruto was Konoha's most desired guy and even ended up bagging Princess Hinata. And Sasuke ended up with a boring flat-chested chick."
"Sorry, man... She's mine. I'm building a hardcore harem."
But before fantasizing about my future palace filled with kunoichi, I needed to get my shit together. The Otsutsuki, those alien assholes, were about to show up, and without Sasuke's skills, I was screwed. Gotta train, but how? I don't have Sasuke's combat experience...
Survive first, fuck later.
The sound of wings snapped me out of my thoughts. A black falcon landed on the windowsill, a scroll tied to its leg. I approached, a bit wary, and untied the message. The Hokage's seal—Kakashi, if my manga memories were right—sat at the top. I unfolded the paper and read:
"Sasuke, we've detected suspicious activity near the Hidden Sand Village. A group of S-rank rogue ninjas has formed a mercenary band. Join Shikamaru and Temari ASAP for the mission. – Sixth Hokage."
I whistled through my teeth. "Rogues, huh? Sounds like trouble."
Two years after the Fourth Great Ninja War, the world was still a mess. Villages in ruins, starving orphan ninjas, others with no choice but to loot to survive. The great nations were holding on, but small villages like Grass or Rain were starving. Not my problem, honestly. All I cared about was staying alive and enjoying the kunoichi.
I shrugged.
"Looks like I'm headed to the Land of Wind."
I stood up. My left leg buckled, but I held steady. I grabbed a black shirt and pants from a pile of clothes, slipped on ninja sandals, and picked up the katana leaning against the wall. The weight of the weapon sent a shiver through me.
"Gotta get used to killing fast."
"Okay, Sasuke, let's play the game." I stepped out of the cabin, the fresh air of the Village of Grass hitting my face. Green hills stretched as far as the eye could see.
Deep down, I was still that perverted geek, a total loser... except now, I was the guy most people feared. And damn, that's fucking exhilarating.