I was finally going to have something go my way, I felt my life finally slip through my fingers.
Two years prior:
My name is Marie, and it was the first day of Fifth grade after fall break. I had always thought I was like every other fifth grade girl who couldn't wait to grow up, wanted to have a boyfriend, and would talk to my friends about all the cute boys at our school. I was never like that if you thought about it though I hated the fact that on my birthday I was getting older, I don't think I ever actually liked a boy the way that some of the other girls, and me and my friends never talked about dating or having crushes.
I had always seen this one girl around my school, Arabella. I had gone to school together for 6 years, she was funny and confident and recently she had made the decision to cut her long blond hair. I had always looked at her hoping one day we would be friends until an old friend of mine and her started talking to me. I asked why so suddenly she wanted to be my friend, that's when she told me that she had a crush on me for 2 years now. I realized then that maybe what I thought was me wanting her to be my friend was really me seeing her in a way greater than that.
We had kept talking, keeping it to only friends until she asked me out Art with an awesome drawing. It was two weeks until winter break and I said yes so fast I almost did not process what had happened. I was so happy with Arabella. We talked every night and spent as much time together as we could but during that time I was also still trying to figure out how I wanna identify because I didn't think I was just a lesbian and after weeks of reading I decided on bisexual. Although Ara had already told her parents that she had a girlfriend I was too scared to. I wanted very badly but I didn't know how to tell them.
We had been dating for three months before everything started to feel distant. We still talked but she didn't seem like she wanted hang out with me. It wasn't until one random day at school I u sitting talking with my friends when Ara came and asked to talk went over to a place were most kids weren't and that's when it hit it like someone threw a knife straight through my heart, "Marie, I kn we've been dating for a few months now but I don't feel we shopld dating anymore" I wanted to tell her I loved her and I didnt want relationship to end but instead all I could get out was "that's oka understand". I walked back over to my friends to continue t conversation like nothing ever happened when I couldn't handle anymore and broke down crying. My friends didn't ask right the instead they comforted me.