Friday 20th June, 2014:
I was on the rooftop having my lunch when I heard someone screaming my name. I was pissed off enough for a day, so I kept on munching my chips and guacamole. As the person drew nearer, the voice sounded like that of my class captain, Belinda, not wanting to pour out all my pent-up annoyance on her, I intentionally ignored her. But much to my annoyance, she just kept on screaming my name.
'Michelle, Michelle' Berlinda screamed as she approached me on the school rooftop garden where I had converted to my dining space by simply fixing a table and a seat; all I needed for a dining space.
'Michelle, what's wrong with you?' Berlinda asked as she tapped on my table lightly, trying to get me to look up at her.'I've literally been screaming my head off just to get your attention.' she said, sounding frustrated.
'Maybe try serving it to me on a platter, and I might just try considering listening to you,' I said, wearing a business like face but obviously pulling her legs.
'humph, can you at least be serious for once?' she asked her frustration and unease growing.
'And just what do you want Berlinda?' I asked calmly, trying desperatelytokeep my cool, as I started to feel the effect of the headache I was just experiencing.
'Um, I-I-I ' Berlinda stammered, fidgeting with her necklace; which, if I remember correctly, was a family heirloom of hers. I guess she was just like others who seek my attention, and when they get even the tiniest bit of attention from me, they can't find their tongue. 'I mean, Chase said to give this to you,' she finally managed to say while reaching out what looked like a note to me.
I studied the note carefully before extending my hand to receive it as an idea quickly flashed through my mind. why can't he text, though? I asked myself before quickly recollecting who sent the note. but of course, it was the proprietress's son, Chase Elvis, the young master of the Elvis family, who thought everyone should be picking his feet if given the opportunity, that is. Gosh, I was irritated already.
'And just how much did he pay you?' I asked with a hint of coldness in my voice trying to imitate my brother's business tone.
'I don't understand. What do you mean?' Berlinda asked, trying to play dumb but unconsciously avoiding my gaze.
My lips twitched in amusement as I stared at herwondering where she got the nerve from to lie to me.
'So you won't be mad or pissed off if I, I don't know, maybe mistakingly tear it to shreds , right?' I asked, looking into her eyes and playing with the note in my hands, making her think I may just be tempted to rip the note any minute now.
'alright, stop stop, okay?' she surrendered now fidgeting with her skirt 'Chase didn't give me any money'
I sensed some form of defiance in her voice, so I pressed on a little bit more by actually folding a bit of the rag paper( the note), which unknown to her, was just along the margin so the note itself was left unharmed (not that I had any interest in reading it whatsoever).
'Okay, okay, he promised to give us tickets for Wilbedon. I now understood where she was coming from I had the money to even sponsor everyone in our class year, but my parents were monitoring my spending so if I spend a little more than €50 000 besides my weekly allowance without their consent, my account would get freezed.
I pondered over it a little and was about to agree when I saw a shadow just around the corner of the rooftop entrance. I could perceive the Boadicea the victorious nebulous EDP Chase always wore.
'All right then, you can just go tell him I've received it or whatever,' I said, this time actually folding it, and was about to use it wipe off the stain on the table when suddenly the owner of the shadow emerged from behind the staircase entrance building the young master of the Elvis family; a blonde, tall, clear skinned, deep blue eyed and elegant 15-year-old boy, Chase Elvis. he had a look in his eyes, which I pretended not to notice.
'Um, hi,' he said, looking intently at me, probably expecting me to smile sheepishly and blush while waving at him in response. Instead, I looked at Berlinda.'won't you reply to him?' I asked, giving her a quizzical stare
intentionally ignoring his intense gaze.
'I-I-I' Berlinda stammered, looking embarrassed.'I should probably leave,' Berlinda said,giving chase a look that I interpreted as "you owe me more."
'You don't need to go anywhere, Lindy'. I said,'I was just about to shred this and this over with' I lied.
' Can you at least just read it, please?'He pleaded.
'Awww, I'm moved,' I said,' so the almighty Chase Elvis can actually say the word "please". well I'll think about it.'
' Please, please just •••'his words trailed off it seems he was too embarrassed to speak aloud.
' I'm sorry. Can you repeat what you just said?' I asked, pretending not to hear what he said. At the same time, I tried my best not to pour out my annoyance on him.
' Um, I-I-I said, please just read it here. I want to watch you while you read it.' He said this time, it's a little bit of boldness.
I kissed my teeth inaudibly.
' Of course, your Highness.' I said anything for you. I said this, trying to get on this nerves. He was the proprietor's son, so most of the teachers usually did his bidding.
I slowly opened up the roughed up note and glanced through it, though, without even stopping at a single word to understand what he wrote.
'Awww,' I said,'this is beautiful. It looks like you put in a lot of time and effort to make this' Isaid faking admiration trying not to insult him for being so jobless.
'You think?' He asked flattered by the compliment 'so? what do you think? do you accept it or not?' He asked, awaiting my response.
I was taken aback a little. Wait, is this what I think it is? is this...
my thoughts trailed off as I read the note. I now understood why he so desperately wanted me to read it, why he had been acting strangely different towards me, why he stooped so low as to beg me to read it. IT WAS A FREAKING LOVE LETTER! A CONFESSION!!.
'I don't understand. What is this?' I asked, still staring at the note in disbelief. ' If this is a joke, I'll advise you to stop it now cause it's not funny.' I told both of them my voice, actually turning icy cold this time.
' I just remembered' Berlinda spoke up suddenly.'There's something got to do for Mrs. Will. I got to go'
'I won't repeat myself, Lindy,' I said, my voice cold and hard leaving no room for argument as I held her wrist just as she turned to leave.
'Michelle' Chase started hos voiceless and soft; and if it were another girl, seductive. 'I have really strong feelings for you. I've been trying to ignore and suppress them for so long, but it seems the harder I try, the more it grows. I'm not joking, Michelle. I really like you,' he said, looking deeply into my eyes. I almost felt sorry for him, but I NEVER feel sorry.
'You didn't have to write it down,' I told him, irritated at the thought of him standing so boldly to say this to me. 'I understand your feelings, but...'
'You don't have to give me an answer immediately.' Chase cut in with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. 'You can just give me an answer later or even dm me online.wait, let me give you my contact info.'
'I'm so sorry, Chase, but I can't accept this,' I said softly, reading him to check if I was too harsh or not.
He stared blankly into space with unseeing eyes and then said his voice somehow choked. 'Do you have a boyfriend? was I too late? or was you just not fancy me?' He asked, trying to act tough.
'it's not you, Chase, it's me.' I started trying to explain this in a way a broken boy could understand. ' I'm just simply not into you.'
Chase looked stunned by my bluntness. 'I-I-I understand,' he started cooly.'Who am I kidding? No, I don't understand. I've been trying my best to show you how I feel sometimes, even trying to piss you off. but every god damn time, you ignore me so I thought you were into me from the way you looked at me when I'm chatting to when you talk to me casually even when you don't normally talk to people. I thought you were into me.' He said, losing his cool, almost shouting. ' I really thought you we had something going on, but I guess I was just wrong about you like every other person, right? right Michelle? I wasn't just too late cause there was always another guy in your heart, isn't that right, Michelle?'
I just stared at him seeing him scream that pouring out all that he had bottled up in his heart seemed to remind me of a somehow foggy memory, a once familiar but now foreign feeling. I would have remembered, but I just didn't remember any feeling apart from my anger and another feeling I had no Nam for (I call it a normy feeling). I wanted to know how he felt, but I just couldn't l have forgotten how to feel, how it felt like to be ME. But now wasn't the time for that I had to tackle the situation at hand.
'it's not about you, Chase,' I said again.'I know that I've said this before, but it's not like you don't tickle my fancy it's more like I don't even have a fancy from the start. I'm not into this "relationship" of a thing. I just want to be myself by myself. And I really appreciate the effort you put into this note and all, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship, and I don't think I ever will.' I spoke softly, looking soothingly into his deep blue eyes. I held his hands and said,'But I'll take you on that contact offer if it's still available, that is.'
'sure, though I don't understand,' he said, smiling broadly.
I then turned to leave after hearing the bell and said,'alright then see you in class' as I turned to leave. I was already tired of smiling and dreaded the idea of standing there all day wearing a fake smile.
I jogged down the stairs, choosing not to use the elevator since Berlinda wanted to follow me.
'Michelle, wait up,' she said, calling out to me 'slow down a little'.
I fastened my pace.
'I wanted to ask' she continued after seeing I wasn't going to slow down any time soon. 'Why did you shut him down like that? he confessed to you and all so...? it just doesn't make any sense. All the girls in the sghoolwould kill to be in your position right now, you know?'
I slowed down a little, settling for a slow march.'Let's just get one thing straight. I don't like boys, okay? I just think they're dirty, noisy, proud, disgusting, and boring.'
'But Chase is not like that,' she continued.'He's the nearest guy in the whole school, and all' Berlinda tried to point out.
'I don't care, Lindy, I wasn't talking about just their physical appearance Iwas talking about something... more,' I told her not to want to go into the details.
' What then were you referring to?' she asked curiosity in her sea green eyes.
'You won't understand, not now at least,' I said, then resumed jogging down the stairs.
Yes, that's just how it's meant to be. You're just nothing but my tools, which I use when needed and dispose of when defective. Mother always said a person shouldn't get too attached to his or her tools.
This is my life welcome to my world, the world of Arthur Michelle Gabriella.