"The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaks proud things."
— Psalm 12:3 (NKJV)
Flattery is not the same as encouragement. Encouragement builds up in truth; flattery manipulates through insincerity. It's a subtle and dangerous sin of the tongue—because it disguises selfish intent with sweet words.
The flatterer doesn't praise to bless; they praise to gain. They say what people want to hear to win favor, gain influence, or hide ulterior motives. In doing so, they deceive not only others—but themselves.
What Does Flattery Look Like?
Complimenting someone just to get something in return
Saying what's pleasing, even when it's false or exaggerated
Using charm to cover hidden agendas
Telling people what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear
Twisting truth to manipulate emotions or outcomes
The book of Proverbs warns:
"A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin."
— Proverbs 26:28 (NIV)
Flattery is a tool of deception. It can destroy trust, inflame pride, and lead others into false confidence or foolish decisions. God sees the motive behind every word—and He detests lips that pretend to honor while secretly scheming.
Biblical Examples
In Daniel 11:32, flattery is used to corrupt those who have already compromised their loyalty to God.
In Jude 1:16, flatterers are described as grumblers who follow their own evil desires and boast about themselves—using smooth words to gain advantage.
This is not a harmless habit. It's a sin that can ruin relationships, damage reputations, and make a mockery of sincerity.
Reflection Questions
Do I speak praise I don't mean to win approval or advantage?
Am I honest in my compliments, or do I exaggerate to get what I want?
Have I been silent about truth just to stay liked or safe?
Would I still say it if I had nothing to gain?
Challenge: Choose Integrity Over Influence
Resist the temptation to manipulate with your words. Speak the truth in love—even when it's uncomfortable. Let your compliments be sincere, and your speech be without pretense. Choose depth over charm. God honors the honest tongue.
Prayer for Honest Speech
"Lord, forgive me for the times I've used my words to flatter instead of build in truth. Cleanse my heart of selfish motives. Help me to be sincere, even when it costs me. Teach me to speak with both kindness and honesty. Let my words reflect the purity and love of Christ. In Jesus' name, Amen."