Kazuki had just finished eating a heroic quantity of banana crepes when a knock sounded on the door of the palace dorms.
He shuffled over in his slippers, still chewing, and opened the door.
A Guild receptionist stood there with perfect posture and a scroll in her hands.
"Good morning. Kazuki Arata?"
He blinked. "Uh, yeah?"
"You've been promoted."
Kazuki blinked again.
"To what?"
"Rank B."
Kazuki stared at her blankly.
"…Of what?"
✦
Moments Later, at the Tenshika Adventurer's Guild
Kazuki was dragged—still wearing slippers—into the central guild hall. A huge board of quests towered on the far wall, glowing faintly with mana runes. Warriors, mages, archers, and rogues filled the place with a buzz of laughter and clinking mugs.
Tala whispered from his shoulder. "This is where normal people get promoted. With training. With quests. With paperwork."
"I don't even remember signing up," Kazuki muttered.
"That's because you didn't," Tala said. "I did. Last week. I thought it'd be funny."
"…Oh."
"You're welcome."
Aurelis, trailing behind them, crossed his arms. "This is a mockery of the entire rank system. Guild Rank B takes years to earn!"
Smile jiggled up the stairs and proudly slapped a "☆BOY GENIUS☆" sticker on Kazuki's shirt.
✦
Inside the Guildmaster's Office
The Guildmaster of Tenshika, a stern old woman with thunder in her eyes and a literal sword for a cane, peered at Kazuki like he was a half-melted candle.
"You were recommended by Princess Hiyori," she said flatly.
"Wait, really?!"
"She wrote: 'He's unconventional, but intriguing. Possibly a divine idiot.'"
Kazuki tried to act honored.
"Your mana output is off the charts," the Guildmaster continued. "And you've defeated two Rank B adventurers by accident. So, while I suspect reality bends around you… the system is the system."
She handed him a shiny blue badge.
"Rank B."
Kazuki blinked at it, then grinned.
"Oh! It's pretty."
✦
Back in the Guild Hall
Tala stretched on his shoulder. "So now that you're officially a B-Rank, you get access to higher-tier quests."
"Cool!" Kazuki said. "What kind of quests?"
Yukimaru, the wolf pup, unrolled a mission scroll with his teeth.
Kazuki glanced over it.
"'Retrieve rare venom from the Forest of Seiryu. High risk. Known serpent sovereign territory.'"
He nodded confidently.
"Let's do this one!"
Tala choked. "Wait, what?!"
Oro floated closer. "This mission was posted by five different C-Rank teams… none of whom returned."
"Which means it's open," Kazuki said brightly.
"Which means it's dangerous!"
Kazuki beamed. "But maybe I'll make a new friend!"
✦
The Forest of Seiryu
Trees towered like green mountains. The air shimmered with mana—thick, humid, and heavy with tension. Everything either glowed faintly or hissed at them.
Kazuki stepped on a vine.
The vine hissed.
"Sorry!"
They continued deeper, surrounded by rustling leaves and bird calls that sounded suspiciously like insults.
Tala landed on a branch. "Keep your guard up. This place is home to—"
"SSSSILENCE."
A cold, silken voice slithered through the clearing.
From the shadows, something emerged.
A massive king cobra, its scales glistening emerald-gold, slid forward with a crown-like crest and eyes that shimmered with intelligence.
"I am Senzou, Sovereign of Venoms. You tread on royal soil, slippers and all."
Kazuki blinked. "You… you can talk!"
"Of course I can talk. I'm majestic."
Smile squished protectively in front of Kazuki.
Senzou narrowed his eyes. "And what is that?"
"Smile," Kazuki said. "He's… um. He's Smile."
The slime waved.
"Right," Senzou said. "Well. Explain yourselves. Before I bite."
✦
Kazuki's Diplomacy Attempt
Kazuki stood tall.
"Well, Your Majesty, I came to this forest seeking venom. But! I also think snakes are super cool, and you are by far the coolest snake I've ever met. Do you maybe… wanna be friends?"
Senzou stared at him.
Everyone held their breath.
The forest grew silent.
Senzou blinked slowly. "…You are an idiot."
"Yeah," Kazuki said. "But I'm nice!"
The cobra stared a little longer.
Then… he laughed.
A deep, surprisingly charming hiss-laugh.
"I haven't been offered friendship in two centuries. Only blades, poison traps, and disrespectful flute music."
He slithered forward and coiled around Kazuki's shoulders.
"Very well. I shall come with you."
Kazuki's eyes sparkled.
"You will?!"
"But only," Senzou added, "to witness how many ways you manage to almost die. For science. And amusement."
✦
System Notification – New Companion Acquired!
[Senzou, Sovereign of Venoms] has joined your party!
‣ Type: Beast Companion
‣ Affinity: Poison Mana (Royal)
‣ Danger Level: "You might want antivenom"
‣ Attitude: Sarcastic Regal
Smile seems jealous.
Tala has developed an instant rivalry.
Aurelis has left the group chat.
✦
Back at the Guild Hall – That Night
The receptionist blinked at Kazuki.
"You… finished the Seiryu mission? Already?"
"Yup!"
"With no injuries?"
"Well, I did step on a biting mushroom."
"…Still counts."
The receptionist stamped the scroll with wide eyes.
"Congratulations on your first official Rank B quest."
Kazuki gave a thumbs-up. "Nice!"
Behind him, Senzou adjusted a tiny velvet cape Smile had made for him.
Tala, meanwhile, growled, "One more royal personality in this group and I'm defecting."
Yukimaru howled in agreement.
Oro simply sighed.