Monday morning arrived with all the enthusiasm of a root canal appointment. Kenji stood in front of his bathroom mirror, staring at his reflection in the Sakura High School uniform. The blazer was navy blue with gold trim, and somehow made him look like a middle-aged man playing dress-up, which, technically, he was.
"This is fine," he muttered to himself, adjusting the tie for the fifteenth time. "People infiltrate high schools all the time. In movies. Where they're played by twenty-five-year-old actors pretending to be teenagers."
His phone buzzed with a text from Agent Sato: "Good luck today! Try to act like a normal teenager! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ\*:･ﾟ✧"
Kenji stared at the message. Even her texts were too young for him.
The train ride to school was an exercise in existential dread. Surrounded by actual teenagers in the same uniform, Kenji tried to blend in by hunching his shoulders and avoiding eye contact. A group of girls nearby were discussing something called "TikTok challenges," which sounded vaguely threatening to his forty-year-old sensibilities.
"Did you see Yamada-kun's new haircut?" one of the girls whispered. "He looks so cool now!"
Kenji unconsciously touched his own graying hair and wondered if "cool" was still an adjective people used.
Sakura High School loomed before him like a pastel-colored prison. The building was modern and cheerful, with cherry blossom trees lining the entrance path. Students streamed through the gates in clusters, chattering about weekend adventures and upcoming tests. Kenji took a deep breath and joined the flow.
The first challenge came immediately at the entrance, where a student council member with an armband was checking for proper uniform compliance.
"Excuse me, senpai," the boy said, looking up at Kenji with wide, earnest eyes. "Your blazer button is undone."
Kenji looked down. Sure enough, one button had come loose. "Oh, thanks..." He paused, realizing he had no idea how to address a teenager who was technically his junior but calling him "senpai."
"No problem! Are you the transfer student everyone's talking about? You look really mature for your age!"
"I... do?"
"Yeah! Very distinguished. I bet you're popular with the girls already!"
Kenji felt his eye twitch. "That's... not really my concern."
"Playing hard to get, huh? Classic move, senpai!"
Before Kenji could process this exchange further, the boy had moved on to harass other students about their uniforms. Kenji stood there for a moment, wondering if that interaction had actually happened or if he was having some kind of stress-induced hallucination.
The hallway was exactly what he'd expected from movies and anime: lockers lining the walls, bulletin boards covered in colorful announcements, and teenagers being aggressively teenage. What he hadn't expected was how naturally everyone seemed to accept his presence.
"Hey, you're the new guy, right?" A student with spiky hair and an obvious delinquent vibe approached him. "I'm Tanaka. Third year."
"Uh, Takahashi. Also third year, I guess."
"Cool. You seem pretty tough. Want to join our gang?"
Kenji blinked. "Your... gang?"
"Yeah! We meet behind the gym during lunch and complain about homework. Sometimes we share snacks."
"That sounds..." Kenji searched for an appropriate response. "...very rebellious?"
"I know, right? We're pretty hardcore. See you around, Takahashi-kun!"
As Tanaka walked away, Kenji stood in the hallway trying to process what had just happened. Either he was having a very elaborate dream, or high school students were even weirder than he remembered from his own teenage years.
Room 3-A was exactly what he'd expected: rows of desks, a blackboard covered in mathematical equations that hurt his brain to look at, and approximately thirty seventeen-year-olds who turned to stare at him as he walked in.
"Class, we have a new transfer student today," announced the homeroom teacher, a middle-aged woman who looked only slightly younger than Kenji himself. "Please introduce yourself."
Kenji walked to the front of the class, acutely aware that he was probably older than some of their parents. "My name is Takahashi Kenji. I transferred here from... uh..." He realized he'd forgotten his cover story. "...another school. Please take care of me."
The class erupted in whispers.
"He's so tall!"
"Look at those shoulders!"
"Is he a delinquent? He looks like he could be in a gang!"
"He's kind of handsome for a high schooler..."
Kenji felt his face flush. This was not going according to any plan he could have imagined.
"Takahashi-kun, please take the empty seat next to Yamamoto-san."
A girl with long black hair and glasses waved at him from the back of the room. As he made his way over, he caught snippets of conversation:
"He walks like an adult..."
"Maybe he's really mature for his age?"
"My older brother walks like that, and he's twenty-five..."
Kenji slumped into his seat, which was approximately six inches too small for his frame. The girl next to him smiled brightly.
"Hi, I'm Yamamoto Yuki! Nice to meet you, Takahashi-kun!"
"Nice to meet you too, Yamamoto-san."
"You can call me Yuki! We're classmates now. How old are you?"
Kenji's brain short-circuited for a moment. "I'm... seventeen?"
"You seem older! Very mature. I like that in a guy."
Warning bells went off in Kenji's head. This was exactly the kind of situation that could end with him on a registry somewhere. "I'm really not looking to date anyone right now. Very focused on my studies."
"Playing hard to get! I respect that. It shows you're serious about your future."
Kenji put his head down on the desk and wondered if it was too late to call in sick for the rest of the semester.