A Multiversal Mercenary Gig
WARNING: THIS IS A CRACKFIC. A well detailed one, but a CrackFic NONETHELESS!!
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He was a master of mayhem, a specialist in organ "restructuring" with extreme prejudice. But when an explosive career move lands him in the fluorescent-lit hellscape of COMCUS – the Central Office for Multiversal Cohesion and Universal Stability – our ruthless merc learns his old life was just the tutorial.
Now an "Adjuster," his new job is to dive headfirst into an endless array of fictional universes. His mission? Fulfill the increasingly unhinged, bizarre, and occasionally depraved requests of god-tier "Whales" – cosmic entities with too much time, too many opinions, and an infinite supply of Credits.
[World: Cyberpunk 2077/Edgerunners]
Objective: Save David Martinez, ensure Jackie Welles survives Konpeki Plaza, humiliate Adam Smasher so hard he questions his existence, and swindle Rogue AIs out of their most valuable tech.
Reward: 75,000 Credits
"Did someone say the odds are impossible? Jajajaja."
[World: Demon Slayer]
Objective: Repeatedly crash Muzan Kibutsuji’s demon meetings, shit directly on his head, and vanish before retaliation. Continue until he questions his immortality. Bonus: Drive him to seppuku via sheer tomfoolery.
Reward: 19,000 Credits
"Say less. I’ve been training for this my entire life."
[World: Attack on Titan]
Objective: Seduce Mikasa (pretending to be Eren), seduce Eren (pretending to be Armin), then seduce Armin (pretending to be Reiner).
Reward: 89,000 Credits
"Weird? Yes. Hard? My dick. No homo. I’ve done far worse for far less. ...Fuck you for making me imagine this."
[World: Naruto]
Objective: As a sentient rogue Ninken (ninja dog), seduce Tsunade and convince her you’re her soulmate. Bonus: Shit on the Third Hokage’s face and NTR his son.
Reward: 100,000 Credits
"A DOG?! What in the MULTIVERSAL FUCK is wrong with you people?! Go touch cosmic grass! ...How much extra for learning ‘fetch’ convincingly?"
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Welcome to the Chaotic, Absurd, and Wild Adventures of Henry
A morally flexible, sharp-tongued, explosives-enthusiastic mercenary turned multiversal errand boy for the universe’s most unhinged patrons.
Will he survive?
The onslaught of yaoi-obsessed Outer Gods?
The mental toll of reading briefings that feel like psychological warfare?
And WHY IS EVERY 1 IN 3 MISSION ABOUT CROSSDRESSING, YAOI, OR GOTH GIRLS? (Okay, the last one’s understandable...)
Join Henry as he yeets gods off buildings, accidentally flirts with cosmic horrors, and tries not to get erased from existence—preferably all before lunch.
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Missions from readers are also welcome. Go wild with creativity. Well liked missions written by readers in comment would be considered to be part of the mission board.
Worlds Planned(more like I wanna write bout them, there is no planning involved in the fic after 4-5th chapter, everything thereafter runs purely on caffeine fueled spite for the current state of world)
_ Marvels (MCU as well as Comics), DC (same as marvel), Star Wars, Demon Slayer, Solo Leveling, (Other Animes I can't remember the name of atm), CyberPunk, Skyrim (More would be added based if they appear or readers demand)
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Usual Warning for Webnovel readers: Yes, this fanfic has no Netorare(The category of NTR everyone hates. There is also Netorase, but we don't talk about it), and no, the MC is not gay, that was just a gag. Don't throw lore breaking accusations at me because I don't remember every damn thing about every damn media.
Read the novel, there is reason given for why some things might me AU in some of the universes.