Chapter 28: Is It Okay to Grieve for a Monster
If it wasn't clear before, I understood now giants were insane partiers. The celebration lasted all through the night, stretching into the early hours of the morning. It wasn't until the sun began to rise that the Sweet Kingdom finally fell silent.
Mel sat atop a mound of cotton candy, her eyes fixed on the sky. It was cloudy and gray—no stars, no moon. Just a soft wind cold enough to send a shiver through your spine. The mound rested just outside a barn filled with food-shaped animals. Somehow, even in that whimsical place, the air felt heavy.
I walked toward her, hands stuffed in my pockets.
"So, what's your deal?" I asked.
She didn't look at me. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I've been watching you these past few days."
She sighed. "That's creepy, Maddox. You know that, right? Super, super weird."
"No, not like that—" I started to say, but she cut me off.
"I knew you were a little weird, but I didn't think you were a full-blown perv. Classic man," she muttered, shaking her head.
"You and I both know that's not what I meant." I sat beside her on the soft, sugary mound. She had a way of deflecting serious talk with jokes, but I wasn't going to let her brush this off.
"It's been a crazy few days," I said quietly. "We haven't even had time to breathe since… since that day. Since the ice, since him."
She wiped at her eyes quickly, hoping I wouldn't notice.
"How are you doing, Mel?..... Really."
She paused, then let out a soft, bitter laugh. "I've been thinking. And thinking. Guess I've taken a page out of Stone's book."
She looked up again at the colorless sky. "I've been trying to figure out how I actually feel. And I keep coming back to the same question...is it okay to grieve for a monster?"
The tears in her eyes reflected the faint moonlight breaking through the clouds.
"I keep asking myself that. Over and over again. Is it okay to mourn a man like him? A demon. A curse that walked the earth. A monster who scorched the garden he was meant to protect.
How should I feel about a man I once called my father… who committed such awful things in my name? In the name of love?
My mother told me stories—about a king who would've given anything for his people. A man who tried to fix himself, who loved his family more than he loved his own humanity. But somewhere along the way, he got lost in his own idea of righteousness."
She turned to me for the first time, her voice trembling. "So tell me, Maddox. Is it okay to grieve a man like that?"
She looked down, as if ashamed. "And I know what you're going to say. That it's okay. That I'm valid. That no daughter should ever have to do what I did. But I feel like I don't have the right. Not in front of you. Not after everything he did. Your friends, your life… He took so much from you."
Her voice cracked. "I don't deserve to cry. Not in front of you."
I was quiet for a moment.
"You're right," I said. "I hated Magnus. I despised him for what he did. And no, I can't exactly sympathize. Not in that way."
Her shoulders fell. I reached out and placed a hand gently on hers.
"But here's the thingI could never hate you. Mel, in these years, you and El have become the most important people in my life. And the truth is… I don't blame you for anything. I respect you. You found out the man we were hunting was your father, and you never faltered. You stood your ground. You were strong when most people would've broken."
She looked at me, finally letting a tear fall.
"You asked if it's okay to grieve a monster," I said. "And I say: you do whatever the hell you want. You've earned that right. Grieve, scream, cry whatever it takes. I don't have a single ounce of hate for you, Mel. Because where that hate could've lived… I only have love. A hundred times over."
I looked her in the eye.
"If anyone's afraid, it's me. Afraid that one day you'll hate me. For making you choose. For dragging you into all this."
She reached for my hand, squeezed it gently.
"You're my friend, Mel," I whispered. "And I love you. Just like I love El. Nothing changes that."
She smiled.
"You really know how to be mature when it truly counts," she said.
"Well, I—"
"It makes me happy," she cut in, her face blushing slightly. "You're not too bad either. For a friend, you're alright." She giggled. "Wish I had more options, but I guess I love your stupid ass too." She smiled.
I laughed a little.
"Can't just give a normal compliment without hiding it in like 45 insults, huh?" I said.
She jumped up, wiping her tears away and looking up at the moon, now shining bright.
"Nope, I can't," she smiled. "You should know me by now." She laughed.
"That's enough soppy talk—like jeez, Maddox, way to kill a happy vibe," she joked.
"What, me?" I said dryly. "You're the one who went all deep with the 'is it okay to grieve a monster' stuff. Sorry for reciprocating your tone, I guess."
We looked at each other—it was way too hard to keep a straight face. We both burst out laughing.
"Fair," she said. "I guess I did start it, huh?"
I'm not sure if what I said on that day was the right thing to say. It's hard dealing with stuff like this, and I'm probably the last person on earth who should be telling anyone how to feel.
But one thing was certain Mel was my friend, and I could never hate her .
We sat and watched the sun rise that day, passing out after all the partying we'd done that night.
And one thing that truly stood out to me that day
The sunrise was truly beautiful.