Turns out I'm rich.
Not enough that I wouldn't have to work for the rest of my life, but the equivalent of an S-rank mission was apparently a fair bit of money. Especially the equivalent pay for an infiltration S-rank mission.
Paid by the day. For the entire period that I was engaged in my research project, which was basically the entirety of the past four years.
Though the Third had apparently tacked an extra year's worth on top as a bonus. I stared at the numbers.
I'll have to go to the seamstress to modify my order, I thought dimly. If Shisui hadn't just desensitized me to literally everything by turning me into the most terminal sort of intelligence leak, I might have gone into shock.
Then again, that wasn't even the most surprising thing in there. That honor went to the book deal.
A book deal. For my research methods.
And not with any random mouthpiece from Shukuba-Machi, it was for Sword Drop Publishing out in Heian-kyō, the Land of Fire capital. 'Merely' the third biggest name in the business.
Considering that the first owed its fame to the Daimyo's patronage, and the second ran entirely on trashy romance novels like Jiraiya's Icha Icha series, Sword Drop might actually be the brand with the highest business acumen of all of them. It clearly had the most discerning taste.
A book deal. To be published either under my real name or my pseudonym.
If I'd been any less depressed and suicidal at the time, I might have been less of a troll when I took フィン・マックール as my pen name of choice. Now I had to live with it.
Hopefully this didn't mean I'd have people asking if I could transform into a giant baby and shit out basalt. "I was sure my research would be classified to the deepest hell, what gives?" Maybe modern statistical methods weren't as diagram-shifting as I thought?
"It was strongly suggested," Shisui mercilessly ruined my hopes for mankind's collective good sense between spoonfuls of cake. "But the Hokage overruled those arguments.
"
Fuck you too, Shimura Danzo. Also, what? Maybe Sarutobi Hiruzen was feeling so indebted that he didn't think he has the right or vision necessary to censor anything I did anymore? Yeah, that'll happen.
Then again, if he wasn't at least a bit self-deprecating about his performance as Hokage now, I'd be worried about his self-awareness.
Though speaking of self-awareness… "Hey kid, was that 10-year time frame the cooldown for the completely hypothetical holder of that horrifying crime against mankind you theorised, or for whoever were to, say, steal the eyes for their own use. "
Damning silence.
"Well that's just great. If you didn't want me to be even more existentially terrified, you've failed miserably.
Incidentally, my knees are suddenly all weak again and I haven't had lunch today. There's pilaf in the fridge, and some steak, bring them out will you? That's a good lad, now why don't you heat them up, the slow way without fire techniques that entirely relies on that stove over there.
Wouldn't want you to make poor excuses and run away to 'spare me the burden of your company' or 'stop taking advantage of my goodwill' or something silly like that. "
Shisui complied but not without giving me weird looks throughout all of it, the nerve of him thinking I'm the strange one, honestly. Kids are all ridiculous, and becoming assassins before puberty apparently makes them even worse.
I looked back down at the folder. "This book deal, is it a one-time thing or can I add anything? Exchange? Make a counter-offer?"
Shisui glanced at me between checking the pans precisely as often as necessary because he apparently had experience. That's right, Shisui was the breadwinner for his parents, right? Or just mother now, maybe, his father's already dead isn't he? "The matter was raised in council pertaining to your claim to your techniques.
The Hokage will respect your decision if you wish to classify them, but I'm afraid their use by those present for your presentation is out of your hands. "
"Don't be silly, the ways of science should be transparent to all. I'm definitely taking the book deal, can you imagine if someone like Orochimaru reads it? You realise it includes raw, scientific evidence to the inadequacy of his inhumane approach to human testing, right? Can you imagine his reaction? I'll probably enter the bingo books as the one who got closest to killing him once he finishes having his aneurism.
No, I'm more wondering if I could have two books made. One for this, one for all this basic history you lot seem to be completely ignorant to.
Honestly, the fact none of you ever heard the name Ootsutsuki is unconscionable, you do realise Kaguya is where the Kaguya clan comes from, right? And the Sage and his brother were her kids too, the Uchiha and Senju all descend from her and Emperor Tenji, ultimately. Indra? Asura? The sage's kids? Ring any bells? No? Gods, kid, this is kind of a big deal to just forget about, it hasn't even been a thousand years.
"
Shisui pursed his lips as he served me a portion, and then one for himself after I stared at him long enough. "I think you seriously underestimate the value of the lore you possess, sir.
The Warring Clans era was not kind on record-keeping, and even harsher on oral traditions. If you can prove the veracity of your tales even a tenth as well as your other research, you can probably expect to be called Loremaster in addition to Doctor.
"
Yes, I am officially Doctor Masanari now. I am a physicist who went and betrayed my field and all of STEM for the fickle fibs of soft science.
Go me. "Proof like knowing several different languages nobody else in the world seems to remember either?"
Shisui blinked. Whether at the information or the fact I admitted it, I couldn't tell.
Probably the latter. "That would probably go a long way, yes.
"
For that and other things, I'm sure, most of which I probably wouldn't like. "Well, don't get your hopes up.
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