"Stop looking at me..."
That's what I thought as I stared back at the two kids who were eyeing me like I was some rare species of bug.
They were my siblings—twins, apparently. The boy's name was Alex, and the girl was Celine. Both of them looked like they were the children of celebrities. Ridiculously attractive for no reason.
But that's not the issue here.
The real problem is that I've died and been reincarnated into your typical fantasy world.
How did I die?
I don't remember clearly… I think a snake crawled into my pants and bit me right on the nutsack.
Yup. That's the end I got. Not a hero summoning. Not a tragic accident by a truck. Just me, screaming and dying with a reptile attached to my balls.
Where was my isekai truck? Where was my glowing summoning circle?
Fucking anime lied to me.
And these two haven't stopped staring. Am I a baby or a decorative vase to them?
It's been a month since I was born, and it's been like this the whole time. They both stared at me with empty, curious expressions, not saying a word.
Sometimes, they'd poke my cheeks… then go right back to staring.
This kind of behavior was creeping me out for some reason.
Kids are tough to understand—even though I'm an infant myself right now.
"..."
Well, I've had enough. Now they're pissing me off.
I've been holding my shit for a long time—and I think I know exactly where to unleash the beast inside me.
Yes, that's right. I'm gonna shit in their arms. Drench them in my waste. That's what they get for making me uncomfortable.
Step one for this plan to work: cry loud. Mother will definitely tell these fuckers to shut me up.
"Uwaaaaaaaa... Uwaaaaaaaa!" I cried with heart.
It was the kind of crying that had lots of emotions.
"Alex, Celine, please make your brother stop crying and check if he's soiled his underwear," my mother's sweet voice rang from a distance.
As expected.
That means step one is complete.
Step two—the final step—is to let out everything.
My big sister gently picked me up from my wooden cradle. She looked at me with a curious expression in her big, crimson eyes.
Her black hair complimented her beautiful, doll-like face so well...
So well, in fact, that for a moment—I forgot my will to take revenge.
My older brother and sister were twins, so they both had the same facial features. The only difference was their eye color—my brother had deep blue eyes.
"Well, whatever..."
With that thought, I let it all out—making sure not even a single drop of shit remained inside me.
But holding my piss? That was the hardest part of this whole plan.
I was saving it especially for my brother.
I looked at my sister dead in the eye, searching for some kind of reaction.
But for some reason, not a single muscle of her face moved. No disgust. No anger.
Just that same expression she'd had for a month: curiosity.
She gently removed my stained underwear and held me up in the air. As she turned me around, I spotted my brother behind me. Without hesitation, I unleashed warm liquid justice onto his face.
I was thinking of doing that evil smile face, but that would be too suspicious—so I controlled my intrusive thoughts.
Pissing never felt so satisfying.
After a few seconds, I was done.
But why?
Why is he not showing any reaction?
Don't you have any resentment toward me, big bro?
I literally pissed on your face! Show me something—anger, disgust, anything!
What the fuck is wrong with both of you?
They exchanged a glance for a few moments, then silently carried me to the kitchen.
I had no idea what was going on in their minds.
Before I could even process anything—they dunked me straight into a wooden water tub.
What the fuck?!
Are they trying to kill me?!
I knew something was wrong with these psychopaths, but I didn't think it was this bad!
"Uwa—"
I tried to cry, but they dunked me again.
Then again.
Then again.
"Aaaahhhhhh…"
I finally managed to let out a solid scream—just for a few seconds—before they shoved me back under.
Do they have no emotions?! How can anyone be this inhuman to an infant?!
These motherf—these monsters!
But just when I thought I was doomed...
"Wha—What are you doing?!"
My mother's voice rang out, horrified. She stood frozen at the kitchen entrance, hand over her mouth in disbelief.
Mommy...
My savior had arrived.
If she isn't beating those little pieces of shit with a thick wooden stick, then I swear—I'll take my revenge when I grow up.
I'll never forget this day.
Never.
Anyway, thankfully I was sa—
They dunked me again.
***
A day has passed since then.
When Mom asked them why they did it, they told her I was dirty and they just wanted to clean me.
Yeah, sure... drowning me alive was "cleaning" me.
I'm never fucking with these siblings again. Never. Ever.
Anyway, today's been peaceful.
They went outside to train.
What kind of training? Oh, you know—your usual fantasy-type shit. My brother's swinging a sword around like a war-hardened knight, and my sister? She's throwing elemental projectiles and destroying the environment.
They're both considered rare geniuses. Apparently, they opened their mana veins just a year ago at the age of four and managed to refine the mana inside their bodies. Everyone acts like it's the second coming of the gods or something.
But whatever.
It doesn't matter to me.
I've got no mana veins. I'm just an average dude same as my previous life.
Oh yeah, talking about my previous life—I've remembered a lot more about it.
When I first reincarnated, I only had fragmented memories. But now, they're slowly coming back.
My previous life… how should I say this?
It was the kind of life where I wanted to hang myself from the ceiling every single day.
The biggest problem I had? My body.
I had an extremely feminine-looking body. If Xianxia readers saw me, they'd call it a "Supreme Yin Physique" or some shit.
Or in simpler terms: a twink. A femboy.
This made daily life actual hell. Having friends was tough.
Back in high school, I had no male friends. And for some reason, girls despised me for looking better than them.
Like—is it my fault?
As for male friends... well, a few guys did approach me, but let me tell you—their intentions weren't great. Still, since I lacked friends, I went with it.
(That didn't end well, but let's save that for another day.)
I loved a girl back in high school. She was kind to me, even when others hated me for literally no reason.
I thought things were finally looking up.
I joined a gym to gain muscle. Maybe I could impress her somehow. And man, there used to be a song I listened to non-stop while lifting weights:
"Can You Feel My Heart" by Bring Me The Horizon. That song carried me.
My daily routine was:
Wake up → classes → straight to the gym.
I used to scroll through "Gigachad" memes like a religion. That guy's chiseled jaw and manly face hit all the right spots.
"…"
By "right spots," I mean motivation. Obviously.
Spoiler alert: I failed to gain any muscle.
I couldn't grow facial hair. And I had an injury from an accident in the gym. Eventually, I quit the gym
But, that song? Fire.
Now that I think about it, I really wanna listen to it again… maybe scroll the internet or something.
But nope.
Not possible here.
Anyway, back to reality.
On the last day of high school, I asked her to meet me.
She came.
I told her how I felt—honest and straight.
And she rejected me.
"When I look at you… nothing happens to me. I—I'm sorry. I can't... I just can't see you as a man. Please forgive me. You deserve better."
"..."
The fuck?
A simple "no" would've been fine.
That day, I realized I'd been expecting too much out of life. At least back then, I had a loving family a place to return to after dealing with rejection and pain.
But when I returned home that day…
I found out my parents had been crushed by a truck in an accident.
I still can't remember the exact details.
But yeah—I was really expecting too much from life.
Everything went downhill after that.
I had no money. No backup.
I was lost.
And then I came across a thing called; OnlyFans.
Now, now—hold up.
Don't laugh. Don't think weird shit.
Just listen.
Have you ever considered how expensive life is?
Rent? Food? Education?
My parents were chilling in heaven, and I had bills to pay.
So I did what I had to.
My body was a curse and a blessing.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
And hey, it takes a real man to be the best girl.
I made an account. Did some sexy cosplays.
Sold feet pics.
And surprisingly, there are lots of horny dudes on the internet.
They helped me pay rent.
I'm truly grateful to those guys, man.
Yeah, I'm not beating any femboy allegations at this point.
But such is life.
A lot of other bad things happened too…
But I'd rather not talk about them for now.
Anyways..
In this life, I just wanna be a Greek God-tier man. Big muscles. Lots of chest hair.
That's the dream.
Maybe second coming of "Henry Cavill."
A new world. A new start.
Also—have you seen my new dad?
Ugh. That sounds wrong.
I mean the dad in this world.
He's a big, buffed-out blacksmith.
Dude's got muscles like rocks wrapped in skin.
Anyway, that's enough for today.