My mom never got back to me and I started feeling frustrated. Maybe my phone wasn't working. I hardly got any texts or phone calls anymore, my texts never got responses.
I tried to leave notes all over the house, but it was no use. My parents were becoming more and more busy. The days that I saw them grew further apart.
Mom didn't care that I was being bullied. She didn't care that they threw rocks at me, or that they stole my work and ripped it up. Not even when they shoved me so hard I couldn't put pressure on my leg. It bruised so bad that day….
Dad wasn't any different. I had asked him to take me to the hospital on his day off, but he just ignored me to focus on his work, saying that I was annoying him.
I felt like, I was really better off dead. Why did I survive that accident? For what reason?
In the movies, when a child survived a near death experience, they were showered with affection. They were held tight, their parents so grateful that they defied the odds.
It would be to the point that, it would become suffocating. The child would rebel because the parents would never want to let them go, never allow them to live their life.
Was I supposed to be happy about that? Happy that they didn't smother me?
Tears pricked my eyes as a lump formed in my throat. Why did I feel so jealous? I wished with all my heart they'd grab me, hug me again, that they'd lock me in my bedroom and never let me out.
So why?
Did they blame themselves for my accident? Was I just a painful memory for them or something? Was I….a monster?
Everything was so isolating, that is until, my graduation day.
Finally, I was free from this hell hole, free from the place where I felt so worthless.
I sat in my seat and turned around, scanning the crowd. My heart skipped a beat and I felt a huge smile spread across my face.
There were my parents, sitting almost in the middle of the bleachers, heads leaning against each other.
They made it! I can't believe they…..really came….
Growing up, the thought that my parents might not be at my graduation was something that never once crossed my mind. Yet, in the recent years it had become a fear I hadn't realized I had until now.
I turned myself around, staring ahead, unable to take the stupid, silly grin I had off my face.
As they called name after name, I found my anxiety growing, getting more and more anxious to hear mine.
"Isa Bergs." The principal said, flatly.
Finally!
I walked up to the stage and accepted my diploma.
The auditorium filled with applause, and I saw my parents burst into tears. They must be so proud of me!
I held my diploma in the air and waved to them, but they were too busy wiping their tears to notice.
Everyone around them hugged them and rubbed their arms in an attempt to comfort them. I couldn't help but let out a laugh. They were being so dramatic for their only daughter's graduation.
Or maybe they were sad that we'd see each other even less now? I'd be leaving the house soon and go on my own way. We already barely saw each other as it was, I guess that time would diminish even more. Hmm?
After the ceremony wrapped up, I searched for them all over the place. It felt like it took hours before finally I saw them, but there they were, a bouquet of Lilies and Roses.
They handed them to me, their faces full of tears.
I reached my hand up to wipe them away.
"It's okay. Don't cry! One day you won't be so busy, and I won't have to worry about school or exams, and we'll spend a lot of time together! Maybe I can even visit you guys at work~" I said, fighting back tears of my own.
"We are so….SO proud of you and no matter how far apart we may be, nothing will ever change that." Mom said through shaky breaths, her voice cracking.
"I have been such a lucky man to have had a daughter like you. I know….the accident-" He closed his eyes, as if to shield himself from the memory. Mom just rubbed his arm and leaned her head on him.
After a few moments of silence, I laughed and wiped my own tears that had started to fall.
"Oh come on! What's with you guys? It's okay, we don't have to talk about the accident anymore. I'm okay. I'm okay now~"
My words seemed to have cheered them up because they looked at each other with a smile after I reassured them.
"Shall we go celebrate? I feel like we should celebrate." Mom said, looking up at dad with hopefully eyes.
"I think it would be a great idea." He replied, clearing his throat, trying to pretend like he had never been near tears in the first place.
"Can we go to that new BBQ place? I really want to try it! I've heard everyone say really good things about it, but I wanted to go with you guys. It'll probably be a while before we see each other again, right? So let's make the most of today!"
The three of us walked towards the car and I sat in the back seat, bouncing my knees together with a huge grin on my face. For some reason, I felt like I was back to being a little kid again.
I wanted this moment to last forever. I didn't want to leave them, I didn't want to move out, or go to university. I want to stay here, with them, in this car, forever.
I'd been jealous that they didn't smother me, that they didn't give me so much love and attention after my accident, but maybe, in reality, it was me who didn't want to let go.