The moment I stepped out of the convenience store, I knew I was doomed.
Not because I forgot my wallet again (I didn't this time).
Not because I accidentally grabbed the spicy flavor of ramen (I did, but that's irrelevant).
No, I was doomed because a girl I had never seen before in my life was standing outside the store holding a love letter, trembling like a squirrel with anxiety issues.
She looked me dead in the eye and said the three words every man fears more than death.
"I like you."
The ramen in my hand slipped to the ground with a thud. Steam rose. My brain shut down.
"W-What?" I croaked.
She bowed so fast she almost headbutted the pavement. "Please go out with me, Hiro Kaze-senpai!"
I blinked. "How do you even know my name?"
That's when the sky split open and a golden system screen popped into view, hovering directly in front of my face like a judgmental god.
💘 [Harem System v1.0: Activated]
New Confession Detected!
Girl #001: Suzuki Haruka
Affection Level: MAX 💖
Status: Awaiting Response
❗WARNING: Rejection will result in TERMINAL CONSEQUENCE.
My lips moved automatically. "Nope. Nope nope nope—this is a dream. This is a prank. I'm on hidden camera. Where's the host? WHERE'S THE HOST?!"
Haruka looked up, confused. "You're… rejecting me?"
The system dinged again.
❌ Rejection Detected.
Initiating Catastrophic Death Protocol:
Cause of Death – "Hit by Stray Piano From Sky."
"WAIT NO, I TAKE IT BACK!!"
I lunged forward, grabbed her hands, and shouted the first thing that came to mind. "YES. I ACCEPT. LET'S DATE. I LOVE YOU, I ALWAYS HAVE, I SWEAR."
Haruka blinked.
Then blushed. Then smiled. "I knew it… We're meant to be."
Somewhere in the clouds, a piano veered off-course and crash-landed into a public toilet three blocks away. I stared into the sky, horrified.
"What the actual hell is happening."
✦
The system screen didn't go away. It expanded.
💬 Congratulations, Host!
You have accepted your first love confession!
Love Target #001 successfully bonded.
System Reward: +10 Affection Points
🛑 Please Note: Rejecting any future confession will result in instant death for the target.
🧠 Tip: Love is a battlefield. Stock up on chocolate. And helmets.
I stared at the glowing screen in disbelief. "This has to be some kind of cursed dating sim."
💬 Correction: This is a cursed Harem System.
Good luck, Hiro Kaze. You'll need it.
Initiating Daily Mission in…
3…
2…
1…
📜 New Mission:
Hug Girlfriend #001 within 5 minutes or she will explode. Literally.
Timer: [00:05:00]
"…what."
"Hiro-senpai?" Haruka tilted her head. "Is something wrong?"
"Nope," I said, voice cracking. "Just… come here for a second."
I gave her the world's most awkward hug. She squeaked and hugged me back like a koala on caffeine.
"Wow… you're so warm," she mumbled.
✅ Mission Complete!
Haruka's Affection: +5
Relationship Level: [Girlfriend]
🎁 Reward: Anti-Explosion Buff (1x Use)
I staggered back, patting her on the head like she was a ticking time bomb.
She giggled. "Can I walk you home?"
I looked at the time. School started in ten minutes. I was supposed to be in my literature class. Instead, I was trying not to detonate a teenage girl.
"Sure," I muttered. "Why not."
✦
By the time I reached the school gates, I had gained 1 girlfriend and 10 new mental health issues.
Unfortunately, fate was just getting warmed up.
Because the moment I stepped into class, another girl—a tall, silver-haired beauty in a gothic black dress—stood up from her desk, locked eyes with me, and smiled like a villain in a romance drama.
"Hiro Kaze," she said, her voice smooth as melted chocolate. "You are… my destined mate."
I flinched so hard my soul left my body.
💘 New Confession Detected!
Girl #002: Lucina von Bloodveil
Affection Level: 💖💖💖💖💖
Status: Awaiting Response
❗WARNING: Rejection will result in Accidental Vampire Ritual Sacrifice
"NOPE," I said. "I'm not doing this again. Someone put me back in the simulation. Pull the plug. Delete my save file."
Lucina walked right up to me, leaned in, and whispered, "You smell… delicious."
I passed out on the floor.
✦
I woke up in the nurse's office with Haruka holding my hand and Lucina stroking my hair like I was a lapdog.
"Good morning, darling~," Lucina purred.
"Don't call me that," I muttered.
"You haven't rejected me yet," she said sweetly.
❗Timer: [00:04:12]
Rejecting Lucina = Death by Bat Swarm
"Fine! You're hot! Let's date! I accept your blood-drenched affection!"
She clapped her hands. "Yay!"
Haruka narrowed her eyes. "Who is she?"
Lucina grinned. "Girlfriend #002."
Haruka's eye twitched. "Excuse me?"
📢 System Alert:
Multiple Girlfriends Detected!
New Trait Unlocked: Harem Initiated
Progress: 2/100
Title: Unwilling Harem Lord
I sat up, head pounding.
"Why can't I just eat ramen in peace…?"
One girlfriend closer to madness…