"Come Jena," he said and pulled me gently to his side.
I was surprised but then again, my thoughts went to this stupid line: "he might want to connect with Emily again. He might be using me for that. That must be his reason."
I said, "okay." And let him take me again to the elevator.
When I followed him to his room, I still didn't ask him anything and only thanked him.
However, I was the most stupid person in this stupid world. Scared, almost drunk, heartbroken and lonely. I needed one tiny push to fall deeper and never come back.
We were in his room, he asked me if I wanted a drink to relax. I said yes, thank you, like a good girl.
"Are you an university student?" he asked and I nodded, trying to ignore him.
Then he sat beside me and I moved a little far, but he grabbed my hand and kissed it.
"You looked beautiful," he said, "you must have many suitors."
Daniel's face crossed my mind and the expression of extreme disgust he made when I confessed my feelings.
I started to laugh. "That… that would never happen."
Tears rolled down my eyes. "I… you must be drunk… I…"
His finger wiped my eyes, and caressed my cheek sweetly. "Don't cry. Jena…"
Those words sounded so comforting. Deep down I knew he was using me but I wanted someone to stay with me.
I filled my cup of wine again, and again. I don't know when I drank the full wine bottle, and when I started saying yes to everything he asked, I didn't care anymore.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Yes."
"Do you like me?"
"Yes."
"Can I touch you?"
"Yes."
"I want to take you to bed, do you want to?"
"Yes."
Then we did it. My first time happened because of a group of yeses.
He kissed me, he smirked when he noticed that it was my first kiss too. His lips moved slowly teaching me how to do it, how to take him and breath as I was letting him deepen his tongue, sucking, caressing.
Then he undressed me, the zip at my back was easy to remove, my ordinary underwear too. He was surprised that I didn't resist at all. His touch on my skin burned but it was also relaxing. His lips leaving traces of his gentleness, made me close my eyes to enjoy and leave everything to his mastery.
When he was on top of me, without clothes too, he said something about my eyes and that I was the same as always. Then he entered, I gasped for air. He repeated my name and kissed me.
Then again, he said that I didn't change at all.
Then I didn't know what was he talking about, but maybe he meant to say that I was the same plain, boring girl from middle school.
Never-mind, I let him continue regardless, he kissed me again, he said something I didn't hear, and then he asked me something and I said yes and yes and yes… but I was weeping with my heart broken, but in excitement too. Then I moaned to his movements, and cried aloud too. I bit his arm, I lost my breath and finally after a long night I slept like a log.
Next morning…
He was not beside me. I somehow knew that he would leave before I woke up. I knew it. Then again, I felt a little empty. He may have toyed with me, and it was sad that my first time was like that, but thinking back, at least I remembered it all. I was drunk but I still had the memory of my first time inside my head.
This will be a good memory for the future, as I knew that it will never happen again. Because yesterday was a stupid day.
I dressed up, and left the hotel quickly.
As a matter of fact, I've never received a call from my parents, not even a message.
Three days later… the world became stupid.
"Who is he?"
"He is handsome."
"He is with Emily. They seem close, maybe he is the reason why she is not Daniel's girlfriend already."
"Well he is a good reason."
I watched from afar, the group of Emily's friends, Emily, Daniel and… Nathan Reed.
What is he doing here? He had finished college already, I heard he had a PhD.
Emily waved her hand at me. This was a first time. She had never done that before. I knew she ignored me unless I spoke to her first.
This time, I pretended I got a call and left.
"Did you run away?"