My family was not even worried that I didn't eat dinner.
My sister didn't recognize me.
Emily was at a study group that I wasn't invited to.
Daniel ditched me even thought we never started dating.
I didn't have friends that really wanted to stay with me.
I felt so alone.
Next morning was the same…
I woke up, ate some left overs, then went back to the university.
Not once I looked back at my parents that didn't care to notice me. They were concerned about their holiday trip in two months that they had been planning for so long. However, they never bothered to tell me. I think they didn't know that I won't be able to go, or maybe, they never thought of taking me with them. Well.. It is not like they hadn't done that before.
Anyway, I walked faster and boarded the bus.
Classes started, I took notes, I went to the library, and studied. Once again, I couldn't focus. My mind was somewhere else.
"Did you hear?"
"What?"
"Daniel Hilton confessed to Emily Park."
Those whispered startled me. There were two girls chattering a few meters from me in the library. I believe they didn't notice me.
"Really? When? How?"
"Yesterday, he even brought her a bunch of expensive flowers."
"What did she say?"
"She said that she will think about it."
"Well, of course, she is the beauty of the campus."
"But, you know… there was a rumor that he was going out with Emily's friend. How is she called?"
"Oh I know who, but I don't know her name. She is very quiet. I don't like her."
"Have you ever spoken to her?"
"Mmmm… not really… hahaha she seems boring."
"Duh…"
I knew that girl, she once asked me to help her with her project, she said that she will be my friend if I did that… I didn't. It was obvious she was trying to take advantage by pretending to be my friend. After I rejected her, she didn't talk to me again. But rumors spread that I was arrogant.
Well, I didn't care about that and didn't correct them, but what they said just now. Did Daniel confess to Emily yesterday? Just after I confessed to him?
I suddenly had the need to ask Emily. She didn't tell me. Why? We were childhood friends, we were together all the time through middle school till university. But she didn't tell me anything. Not even a message.
This was making me crazy.
I didn't send the message to ask her in the end. It would be useless. If they really ended up dating, it would be hard to avoid them, it will hurt so much.
I stopped what I was doing. My mind was so distracted, and my heart was broken.
What I ended up doing was something stupid…
There was a club that Emily invited me once. However, I never went there again because I didn't have much talk to do. Those so called friends of hers always ignored me and seemed annoyed around me. Their eyes appeared to stay that I was out of place and didn't belong there. They seemed to ask why did I agree to come in the first place?
Well, that time was not the first time it happened. Even when we were in middle school my classmates used to isolated me. They also made me a target of bullying for months. Only after Emily stepped out to help me, they stopped.
After that, some classmates started talking to me and even apologized. I felt accepted and happy for a few days. My little happy bubble popped one morning…
I heard them say that I was so ugly. Someone said that they should all play along with Emily as I was the best way to get closer to her. Even the guy who I liked was like that.
He… he used to be the most gentle to me but he ended up being the worst.
After that, I ignored them. They tried again many times, but I didn't even stare at them, not a glance, not a word. After a few more tries, not many, they stopped and a rumor about me being cocky circulated around the school. My teachers tried to call my parents but, as always, my parents had better things to do than pay attention to me.
At that point in time, I managed to numb my emotions but I was hurt deeply.
No more friends for me after that, only Emily.
But I was saying, I did something stupid and crazy and, again, the foolest thing to do for any poorly confident person.
I went to that club dressed in something I never wore before: a small black dress with heels and makeup. My intention was not to pick up a guy, but I wanted to drink without anyone observing me and saying that I didn't belong there. At least they will see me as some random wallflower. Someone mixing with the ambiance, not too ugly, not beautiful, just some plain Jane.
I asked for a drink and stayed seated by the bar, not saying anything, just drinking one after one glass alone. I was sure no one would ever approach me.
My mind was focused on the loud music and the drink. Somehow it was numbing the pain.
Then… something happen. Luck had never been on my side from birth. So… I should have guessed that this day as always will be terrible.
"Girl," a man's voice said. "Are you alone?"
Three guys approached me, one from the back, the other two on each side. I was familiar with this game but I've never played before.
I said no without moving my sight from my drink.
Then one guy touched my ear and I stupidly turned my head towards him to stop him from getting closer. There the other guy must have poured something inside my drink.